Why was the well done steak a terrible gossip? It wasn't juicy enough!
What did the apple teacher say to her student? Help me orange the chairs please!
What did one nut say to the other?
“Cashew later.”
I took the recent snow warnings with a pinch of salt.
What did the nut tell itself before crossing the finish line? “I pe-can do it!”
I got fruit preserves on my finger.
Doctor said it was jammed.
If fish is brain food, what do dumb people eat? Noodle soup.
I have so mushroom in my heart for you.
Why did the hare go to the taco truck?
He couldn't beat the tortas.
What's a vampire's favorite fruit?
A neck-tarine.
Some very good advice strawberries give to their children is to respect their elder-berries.
After his meal, the cannibal wipes his mouth and says: “My wife cooks the greatest soup in the world. But I will miss her so much.”
Why did they put Viagra in chocolate bars? You eat it, She says, "Oh, Oh Henry!"
What do you call a rapper working at Cold Stone? Scoop Dogg.
Why was red in awe of orange?
“Because orange blue green.”
I dropped a bottle of ketchup on my foot.
It caused immense pain to ma toes.
When she spotted fake ramen in her soup, she said, “ This soup has impasta in it.”
Why should you avoid discussing coffee around sensitive people?
It can lead to a really heated, strong debate.
What do you call a chicken with a piece of lettuce in its eye? Chicken Caesar Salad
I think it’s funny when I ask girls whether they would spit or swallow my seed if I was a watermelon. Unfortunately, almost all of them reply not in a hundred melon years.
Why did a can of nuts win the part in the Christmas pageant? Because they were the best nut-tavity actors.
What is a butcher’s favorite Elvis Presley song? Love Meat Tenders.
Here’s another one; what about an otter who lives in an emptied out melon? An ottermelon.
When Berry the dog dug up the woman's strawberry patch, she angrily exclaimed "That is the final straw, Berry."
Did you hear about the pick-up artist who only ever wears green leaves on his head? Yeah, he’s definitely a pineapple smoothie.
Did you know that Beethoven's favorite fruit
Ba Na Na Naaa...Ba Na Na Naaa...
Why did the citrus fruit join the military?
“Because it was a navel orange.”
What did the hot dog bun say to the hot dog? Stop touching my buns! What do you call a hot dog with nothing inside it? A "hollow-weenie!"
One should always practice what they peach.
What does it do before it rains candy? It sprinkles! What do you call dancing chocolate bar? Nestle Crunk bar.
Some types of meat like to play around a lot. These are generally the game types.
What kind of cheese do alcoholics eat?
Livarot.
How does Moses make coffee?
Hebrews it.
Potatoes that are medi-tators maintain calm and peace even when uprooted.
What’s the best thing you can put in a halloween cookie? Your teeth.
My father gave me a peach. I told him that I wanted a pear. So he gave me another peach.
The cashew called the peanut boring.
The peanut felt very unsalted.
The innocent blueberry got easily framed for the crime because the evidence was a strawberry plant.
Q: Why did peas jump out of an airplane?
A: They wanted to be air pods.
What did the expired milk say after being picked up way past its due date? It was well beyond their wildest creams.
The sweet potato asked the other potato : “How are my eyes? ”