What do you call a sad cup of coffee? A depresso.
What do you call a lamb covered in chocolate? A Candy Baa. Did you hear about the love affair between Mr. Goodbar and Peppermint Patty? They had a baby, Ruth.
Did you hear about the little people starting a beer making operation?
It's a micro brewery.
Why did the cow and the bull become so close? Because they became beef-friends.
How do you make a mango shake?
You take it to a scary movie.
What did the tortilla chip say to the avocado when the dip bowl was empty?
“We’ve hit guac bottom!”
Everybody romaine calm.
"I hate tacos!"
Said no Juan ever.
Do you know why bread hates warm weather? It just makes things too toasty.
Eggs are going up again.
That'll surprise a few chickens.
What do prison tennis matches and strawberry jam have in common?
Cons-serve
Do you know which the most favourite type of fruit of trees is? The pine – apple.
Why did the man put the cake in the freezer?
Because his wife told him to ice it!
What’s the best view you can get in our galaxy? A view of the milky way from mars.
Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake? Because it's too hard to put them on the bottom!
The guilty conscience of stealing and consuming a whole peach is getting to me. I feel like there's a pit in my gut.
What's a cow's favorite moosical note? Beef-flat
What do you call one green onion that doesn't listen to anyone and is very naughty? It is called a rapscallion!
What did the pickle say to the lemon?
I relish our time together
What's the difference between England and a tea bag? The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
We failed to find the dog's bone because the owner berried it.
I've just invented a new Canadian beer
It's a form of I.P.Eh
How does a restaurant get the freshest ingredients? They cut a dill.
What do you call a watermelon that spends all day at the beauty spa? Must be a hottermmelon.
What's black, white, orange, and waddles? A penguin carrying a Jack-o-lantern.
Mom: Why did you shave the peaches!
Dad: The recipe asked for nectarines.
How do you spot a radical baker?
They’re always going against the grain.
How did the pine propose to the apple? With a pineapple ring.
What is the favorite color of onions all around the world? Their favorite color is the o-neon.
What do you get if you cross a pumpkin with a bigfoot?
A Sasquash.
When the unripe strawberry saw the ripe one, it was green with envy.
Do you know what the common thing between a pineapple and a king is? Both of them wear a crown proudly on their top.
The unripe strawberry wasn't added to the starting lineup of the game because he was too green.
What did the M&M go to college? Because he wanted to be a Smarty.
I ran out of toilet paper, so started wiping using lettuce leaves
But I'm scared this is the tip of the iceberg.
A strawberry usually gets stuck often when it gets jammed.
What do you call a group of butchers coming together? A meating.
What type of chocolate do they sell at the airport?
Plane Chocolate!
Why did the cheese get in trouble?
It was up to no gouda.
What's worst than a monkey eating bananas? A monkey going bananas.
Things don’t always pine out the way we want them to, but we can-nut give up!