My grandmother was famous all over town for growing delicious strawberries.
She made me promise that when she died, I would plant her strawberries on her grave so that people could enjoy them when they visited. When she passed away I fulfilled my promise. She’s dead and berried.
What is a vegetable's favourite part of the song?
When the beet drops!
When do bakers stop making donuts?
When they get tired of the hole thing.
What do you call two male avocados who hang out and drink together?
Avocabros.
How did the hotdog ask the ketchup out?
He mustard up the courage.
Following a recipe, says I need: pears, five cubed. 125 sounds like a lot of pears for a pie…
Why do oranges wear suntan lotion? They peel in the sun.
The fruit started to stutter as it was suffering from peach deterioration.
Recently in a meeting at the greengrocer I work at, I asked my manager how he was doing. "Just peachy", he replied.
The worst type of criminal is he who mugs other people's coffee.
Kid: Dad, why don’t you approve of the consumption of dairy products?
Dad: Because I was raised lactose intolerant.