How does the Skywalker family like their tea?
Lukewarm.
Why are walnuts the best secret keepers? They walnut say anything to anyone.
What did the pumpkin say to the jar? Soon I will be ajar too.
What kind of cookies do poor people want during Halloween? Fortune cookies.
I had no clue how much lettuce to buy, so I called my wife from the grocery store.
Turns out two heads are better than one.
Which type of nut goes to outer space?
An astro-nut
Why did the ice cream truck break down?
There was a rocky road.
Did you know that milk is a very religious beverage? Most of them are pastor-ized.
What is the perfect name for a sad strawberry? It is called a blueberry.
What do you call it when 13 preschoolers have just had their juice?
A Daycare's Buzzin'.
Why didn't the drunk Mexican druglord find the Bacon Tree? Because he walked into a Ham Bush!
Why did the pineapple’s phone die? It needed juice.
Did you hear the little loaves playing hide-and-seek earlier? They kept yelling, “Bready or not, here I come!”
One of the most courageous souls in the world is anybody who looks at a pineapple and thinks that “I bet I would eat it.”
Where does Thor grow his vegetables?
In his Asgarden.
What did bacon say to tomato? Lettuce get together.
A sad peach can be really pit-iful, sometimes.
If you eat too many cherries, you can sometimes end up with digestive issues. It really is the pits.
What’s fat, hairy and drinks a lot of coffee?
Java the Hut!
"Another glass? Wine not?!"
Why did the coffee file a police report?
Because it was mugged.
"I'd like to make a toast!", said the bread to the bride on her wedding day.
Back in the early 2010s, the peach children loved to flock around to listen to Peach Pit.
What do you call young avocados?
Avokiddos.
Tobacco companies have made an orange flavored cigarette. They call it “Nico-tang”
What do you call a steak hurtling through space? A meat-ior!
Why couldn’t the peanut finish the project?
Work came to a grinding halt.
What did the kid nut say to the other when playing tag? “I’m going to cashew”.
Why do baby seals swim in salt water? Cause pepper water makes them sneeze.
Last night I dreamt I was swimming in a sea of oranges. I guess it was just a Fanta-sea!
What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven? Angel food cake, of course!
I hope for world peas.
Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake? Because it's too hard to put them on the bottom!
Somebody should market a beer called “Occasionally”.
So when asked, I can say, “I only drink occasionally”.
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What do you call a smart beer?
A Pilsnerd.
Where were the first orange trees planted?
“In Orange County.”
What do you call a pastor who wanders from town to town, looking for leafy green vegetables?
A romaine Catholic priest.
What do you get when your dog jumps into the fire pit? A hot dog.
Did you hear what happened when the decorator painted his wife with cheese? He double Gloucester!
What's the manliest fruit to eat?
Mango.
I had a salad pun, but I tossed it
What's green and pecks on trees?
Woody Wood Pickle.
Why did the orange go to the doctor?
“It wasn’t peeling well.”
What do you call two pears?
A pair.
What do squirrels watch on TV?
Nut-flix.
just witnessed a chicken try to pick up a piece of corn for 5 minutes,
ImPeck-able.
Why are hot dogs angry? Because they are always getting roasted.
A lemon got a job in a vinegar factory last week...
Starting salary was $15 per sour.
What's a pickle's favorite book?
To Dill A Mockingbird.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you going to open the door.
What does a birthday cake and a baseball team have in common?
They both need good batters.