Whom did the cheesy Bible start with? Edam and Eve.
Having pineapple on a pizza is quite like going down on a cousin: It might taste good, but something is not right.
What is a terrorist's preferred kind of wine?
White Infidel.
Whenever I give my daughter cherries, she stuffs them in the chair
Now we call them chairries
Never tell a taco a secret
It will spill the beans
One of the most courageous souls in the world is anybody who looks at a pineapple and thinks that “I bet I would eat it.”
To catch a polar bear you surround a hole in the ice with peas
Then, when he goes to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole.
Q: Which basketball players eat fruits?
A: The ones who like to cherry pick.
That wide loaf has a decent bread-th. Nice.
What do you call half a head of lettuce?
The Romaine-der.
Why did the birthday cake go to the doctor?
Because it was feeling crumby!
What is yellow and goes bzzzzzz? An electric banana.
Strawberries have berry good eyesight because they are packed with a lot of Vitamin See.
What’s a nut’s favorite scary movie?
The Creature from the Black Legume.
Why will the fruits beat the vegetables?
They have a better punch!
While leaving, the peach friend told his sad buddy, "If you need any help, just peach out, I will be there."
My father gave me a peach. I told him that I wanted a pear. So he gave me another peach.
What do you feed the son of god? Cheeses of Nazareth.
I replaced the milk in the milk carton with lemon juice.
People were really sour about it.
Wine Lovers Rhyme: A friend of wine is a friend of mine!
Q: What do you call a scary berry?
A: A boo-berry.
Did you hear about the frozen dessert whose wife had a baby?
Now he’s a popsicle.
Don't talk to him before he's had his espresso or he'll lose his tamper.
What’s the best part of a cow? The topside, of course.
Astronauts can't open milk bottles in space. 'In space, no one can. Here, use cream'.
What do you call a sad cup of coffee? A depresso.
My mum makes peas for every meal. I'm sick of her reci-peas.
Did you know that if you poured salt on a cat's tail it will fall off?
It's true! And if you pour pepper on a cat's tail, the pepper will also fall off.
How does a cheese tell you they want to be with you?
“I think you and I would look gouda together.”
I used to randomly steal beverages off people...
I stopped when I realized it wasn't my cup of tea
A friend asked what an acorn is. I said, “In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.”
To the person who has been eating all of my mixed nuts.
I'm going to cashew.
A pine and an apple talk to a pineapple “Poor you, my friend! You are certainly adopted, dude.”
When the bread started crying because it was toast, the loaf told him, "You deserve butter."
What did the apple teacher say to her student? Help me orange the chairs please!
Why did I start making a cherry pie? Bake-cause I love it.
I've just invented a new Canadian beer
It's a form of I.P.Eh
What is a dessert called with an extra chromosome?
A chocolate downie.
What is a strawberry's favorite music band? Pearl Jam.
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad to see me?
A major produce organization is reeling after multiple reports of tainted lettuce.
We may soon witness the falling of the Romaine Empire.
Onions have had a long process in the evolutionary chain. They have evolved into today's onions from onionderthals.
What do you call a chicken with a piece of lettuce in its eye? CHICKEN CAESER SALAD.
What's the difference between a pickle and a psychiatrist?
If you don't know, you ought to stop talking to your pickle!
My decision to become a Hindu was a missed steak
Why do farmers make terrible comedians?
Their jokes are corny!
Why did one pineapple invite another to their party? Because they were real piner-pals.
You can only know the heart of a pineapple with a knife.
How did Henry VIII like his coffee? Decap.
Have you heard of the garlic diet? You don't lose much weight, but from a distance your friends think you look thinner!