What did the pickle say when he was told he was going in to a salad?
I relish the thought.
A strawberry's favorite place to visit is Jam-aica.
Dad fertilized the garden with corn starch.
The plot thickens.
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What do you call mountain climbing corn?
Mountain-ears.
The fruit politician is losing its support in the country because of hate peach.
Eggs - the original boneless chicken.
How old was the cave man on his birthday?
Stone Age.
Why did the man keep punching his doughy friend?
To get a rise out of him!
What cheese is made backwards?
Edam.
In the corn maze, I felt like I was being stalked. It was earie.
Why did the birthday cake go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crumby!
What did one bread lover say to the other?
Before I break down and rye, I want you to know that I loaf you.
What do you call a vegetable planted at a whore house?
A brothel sprout.
A carrot went to a football game.
Wonder who it was rooting for.
What is a strawberry that likes to spin called? A berry-go-round.
Why did the strawberries turned red? Because they saw the salad dressing.
All potato puns are pomme de terrible.
What do you call bacon with salt on it
Salt and Peppa
Did you see the movie about the hot dog? It was an Oscar Wiener.
When the bread started crying because it was toast, the loaf told him, "You deserve butter."
What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work!
What do you call a group of cows that are on top of a hill? High steaks.
The cow intestine dish was offal, but the pig organ tacos was grocer!
Why can't the bankrupt Hindu complain? He's got no beef.
Did you know dried fruits favorite news segments is...
Current events.
When I went to the shop to buy some strawberries, they didn't have any. It was such a fruitless trip.
Know what kind of cookies rich people love? Fortune cookies.
What kind of ice cream does Dracula eat?
Veinilla.
Why do bananas wear suntan lotion? Because they peel!
After I helped a peach with some work, she said, "I really ap-peach-iate your help!"
I'd tell you about a girl that eats nothing but vegetables,
but I'm sure you've herbivore.
The arrogant baker declared, “You’ll never hear a complaint about my doughnuts outside this shop window.”
The customer agreed, “It must be the double glazing.”
What are the longest lasting relationships in the fruit world? Orange-d marriages.
Why did the hummus blush?
Because it saw a chickpea!
Why did the hipster burn his lips?
He ate his pizza before it was cool.
Taco Bell overcooked my food
I asked for a brrrr-ito and an en-chill-ata.
What do you call an onion that keeps on jumping up and down? You call it a spring onion!
What do you get when you fling salt in a tavern?
A barnacle (a.k.a. bar-na-cl).
Why didn't the butcher cross the road? He didn't want to brisket!
The watermelon thief was charged with robbery with violence, but the judge later changed that to a minor felony; or melony as he put it.
Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato?
The lettuce was ahead while the tomato tried to ketchup.
Why was Officer Peanut Butter out in the road? Because he was directing a traffic jam.
What is the pineapple’s relationship status? Pineapply married.
This guy walks into the doctor's office with a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear.
What do you call a fruit that is rough around the edges? A bad apple.
What did the Cheese salesman say? That cheese may be Gouda, but this one is Feta!
I'm worried that the milk I got this morning was from a cloned cow. It tasted exactly like the milk I had yesterday.
American cherries generally do pretty well at high school. Many of them end up on the cherryleading squad.
"Say you'll be wine."
I'm the pun King of Halloween.
My boss accused me of "acting the monkey" at work.
I almost choked on my banana.