What should you drink before you workout? Sweat-Tea.
Where did the onion find his family history?
In the archives
A new bakery in town began ding extremely well. They said that business was definitely on the rise.
I've just been to court accused of sniffing the skins of vegetables and fruits.
I got off on a peel.
Where do connoisseurs lock up their best bottles?
In a wine cabernet.
Q: Why is a carrot orange and pointy?
A: Because if it was green and round, it would be a pea!
Why didn't the drunk Mexican druglord find the Bacon Tree? Because he walked into a Ham Bush!
Have you seen that film about the onion that turns into a spider?
It's called Shallot's Web
Fish taco says why don't you want to taco about it And the nacho says cause I'm nacho friend.
My best friend said we're like two peas in a pod. I'm confused, there's only one P in pod.
My father gave me a peach. I told him that I wanted a pear. So he gave me another peach.
The healthy soup recipe was suggested to us by the nutritionist. It soup-erseded the old unhealthy creamy soup we used to have for dinner.
When you want to propose to a person who loves strawberries, just say, "I love you berry much."
The spoiled milk always got what it wanted.
In the corn maze, I felt like I was being stalked. It was earie.
"It's wine o'clock."
What’s the most supportive beer?
Root beer.
How do you defeat a meat-loving vampire? With a steak to the heart!
Did you hear about the man chopping an onion with the Grim Reaper?
He was dicing with death
This guy walks into the doctor's office with a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear.
Why does salt make everything taste better
Because it's sodi-yummm!
Why did the orange stop rolling down the hill? It ran out of juice.
What do you call a male orange?
Mangerine!
Where does Thor grow his vegetables?
In his Asgarden.
What did the ice-cream say to the unhappy birthday cake?
“What’s eating you?”
Why does everyone invite ice cream to the party?
It’s cool.
What did the expired milk say after being picked up way past its due date? It was well beyond their wildest creams.
Why did the butchers meating end soon? Because one of them started beef.
What do you call a socialite made of cheese?
Paris Stilton.
Which cow has great pickup lines? A cow which is smooth as milk.
My peach friend shaved for the first time the other day, he looks like a nectarine!
A storefront that boasts a fruit pun, just peachy.
It's Taco Night, so on my way home, I grabbed a bag of shredded cheese at the store, queso we needed some more.
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What is the healthiest fruit?
“An orange. It takes Vitamin See!”
How should you bury an onion?
... in a shallot grave!
My brother turned into a vegetable.
I guess now he has fryngers and potatoes.
The national news did a story on my friend's bumper crop of green citrus fruits.
He loves being in the limelight.
"You are so bottlefull to me."
Why did the corn farmer go to jail?
He was stalking someone in a field.
Did you hear that the diet clinic was doing great business? They say that it’d really take your breadth away.
If you want to wish a 'Merry Christmas' to a strawberry, just say, "Straw-berry Christmas!'"
How did Burger King get Dairy Queen Pregnant? He forgot to wrap his whopper!
Why do workers at the dairy factory always need a charger? Their milk is stuck at 1%.
What’s the opposite of coffee?
Sneezy.
Why does a cow hate artificial milk? Because the substance is pow-dairy.
The reason orange juice doesn’t slide well on hard wood floors is Because of pulp friction.
Why was there peanut butter in the middle of the road?
It went with the traffic jam.
Why don't potatoes go to parties?
They're scared of the Monster Mash.
Did you hear about the secret guild of bakers? They say that they only trade recipes on a knead to know basis.
Who is the corniest baseball player of all time?
Ty Cobb!