What is the greeting that Korean onions tell each other when they meet in the streets? They say 'Onion-Haseyo'.
What did baby corn say to Mama corn?
Where's Popcorn?
How did the baker cut four loaves of bread at the same time? By buying a four-loaf-cleaver.
I recently read a book by an onion which had opened up on its life. Midway through the book, I started crying.
What do we get when we cross a pineapple and a pig? We have a porky – pine!
What is a dessert called with an extra chromosome?
A chocolate downie.
Can I have some of your avocado?
GUAC NO! I give zero guacs! You need to guac off!
You don't know jack-o-lantern
The Japanese restaurant serves the best soups. It will always make miso happy.
The soup chef changed the design of his menu. He said his new favorite font is Times New Ramen.
What did the coffee say about its late assignment? Better latte than never.
What kind of candy never arrives on time? Chocolate
Q: What’s a donut’s favorite drink?
A: Hole-y water!
Sheep have a clever way of keeping all their four feet warm in the winter; they wear muttons.
What do you call a potato that’s reluctant to jump into boiling water? A hesi-tater.
Why did the squirrel go to kola-nary school? Because it had pines to be a chef.
Why did the hipster burn his tongue? Because he drank his tea before it was cool.
"What do tofu and a dildo have in common?" "They are both meat substitutes!"
A carrot went to a football game.
Wonder who it was rooting for.
What did the judge say at the finale of the meat throwing competition? The steaks have never been higher!
How do you fix a broken pizza?
With tomato paste.
What do you call a dentist who doesn't like tea? Denis.
Strawberries are the most bullied of the fruits.
They're always getting picked on.
Why did the cherry go to the good drinks factory? It was cordially invited.
What is ice cream’s favorite day of the week?
Sundae.
What do you call a cow on the barnyard floor? Ground Beef What do you call a cow with no front legs? Lean Beef
Cherries are actually great at a lot of different sports. Their favorite one, in case you were wondering, is archerry.
What did the commedian say after after a bad set?
That crowd was laughtose intolerant.
Why was the orange the valedictorian of her class?
She was the zest in class.
Did you see the movie about the hot dog? It was an Oscar Wiener
What do you get when you cross Frosty with a baker?
Frosty the Dough-Man!
What cut of meat do you get from an extremely tired butcher?
A filet mid-yawn
What do we call a scientist who specializes in pineapples? He might be called a pineappleologist!
What do potatoes become when they smoke weed?
Baked potatoes.
Why isn’t there an organization like Chocoholics Anonymous?
Because nobody wants to quit.
What do you see at a funeral for a piece of fruit? Apple-bearer.
It is really rare to find the most perfectly cooked steak.
Why couldn't the teddy bear finish his dessert? Cause he was stuffed.
What's red and has 7 dents in it?
Snow white's cherry!
Why do the hot dogs with ketchup spoil early?
Because the sauce ages.
What do you call a stolen yam? A hot potato.
What is Tom Hanks' favourite soft cheese? Philadelphia.
Why did the butter keep talking? Because he felt like he was really on a roll.
The favorite drink for batman is a fruit punch.
The cow intestine dish was offal, but the pig organ tacos was grocer!
What did the avocado say to the fork? “You guac my world.”
Why would the fruits beat the vegetables?
They have a better punch.
Q: Why was the cherry by himself?
A: Because the banana split.
My best friend said we're like two peas in a pod. I'm confused, there's only one P in pod.
What do you call an onion that is very sick and has a high temperature? It is a boiling onion.