When Berry the dog dug up the woman's strawberry patch, she angrily exclaimed "That is the final straw, Berry."
How many peaches can you fit inside two cans? It depends how big the Toucans are and if they eat peaches.
Q: What do you call a really violent fruit?
A: A peach breaker
What did the cheese say after escaping the mouse? I'm Brieeee!
What do we call two thousand pounds of Chinese soup? It is called won – ton!
What did the cherry say to the cherry pie? I really crust you.
What do you call a cow that only produces almond milk? One that went nuts.
What happens when no one comes to your birthday party? You can have your cake and eat it too.
Some people prefer milk after it has churned. I guess they find it butter that way.
What does a good spice rack help you win? The Hunger Games.
What did the daddy potato say to his son before his soccer game? I’m rooting for you!
Wine puns. They're always in pour taste.
Why did the pig become an actress? Because she was a real ham!
What do you do with epileptic lettuce? You make a seizure salad!
What kind of face cream does a strawberry buys?
Blackhead removal cream and scrub
What do you call a potato that smokes weed? A baked potato.
What do you call bacon with salt on it
Salt and Peppa
Are avocados good for your heart?
Yes, they make for great avo-cardio.
What did the nut say when it caught on fire? Roast-nuts, almond fire!
What type of wine is notorious for making you drowsy?
Sauvign-yawn blanc!
Why is ice cream so bad at tennis?
They have a soft serve.
What did the Catholic Nectarine Priest say to the church? Peach be with you. It was a normal thing to hear from the pul-pit.
Because the platypus both lays eggs and produces milk,
It is one of the few animals that can make its own custard.
Why did the banana go to see the doctor? The banana was not peeling very well.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite type of music?
R n’ Brie.
Don't drink too much coffee after breakfast. You might face a latte problems.
Q: Why are cherries never lonely?
A: Because they hang around in bunches.
A man went to his psychiatrist and complained that every time he drink coffee, he would get a stabbing pain in his right eye.
The psychiatrist said, “Well, have you tried taking the spoon out?”
While cutting the onions, my eyes were leek-ing tears
What's a cow's favorite moosical note? Beef-flat
What did the judge say at the finale of the meat throwing competition? The steaks have never been higher!
We are thinking of spending the night at the peach house, by the shore.
Have a s-mash-ing birthday!
An onion just told me a joke.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
When you cross an orange and a bunny, you will end up with a pip squeak.
He ordered 6 vodkas, 6 beers and 6 lemonades. The bartender asked if he would like a tray.
"No I have enough to carry as it is."
What do you call a chicken with a piece of lettuce in its eye? Chicken Caesar Salad
The thing about milk-inspired puns is you only reach 2% of their potential.
How much does a corn flake weigh?
1 Kelloggram.
Hundreds of chickpeas were found dead the other day. The police say it's a hummuside.
What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work!
I saw a sign earlier that said, "Free Range Eggs."
I've never heard of Range Eggs before but at least they were free so I took some.
The butcher’s life was at steak when the meat market caught fire.
Which actor is now being quarantined for Swine Flu? Kevin Bacon
Things don’t always pine out the way we want them to, but we can-nut give up!
Why was the ketchup feeling bad?
Because it had the squirts.
What do you call a cold little taco?
A brrr-ito.
Why did the giant use clouds to make pancakes? To make them light and fluffy.
What song do young peaches love listening to? 'Papa don't peach'.
What is a walnut’s favorite Christmas play? The Nutcracker.