What did the cherry say when it was given a bunch of flowers? You are cherry sweet.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
I introduced chocolate to milk. They did a chocolate milk shake.
My wife made gluten free, carb free, salt free spaghetti last night
It was not real food, it was an impasta.
Why did the coffee bean keep checking his watch? Because he was pressed for time.
Where does a potato go to college? DeFry
What do you do if you see a blue banana? Try to cheer it up.
"Here for the right riesling."
What do you call super expensive shoes?
Cashews.
My friends say that I cannot cook alphabet soup for this dinner. And now they are eating their words.
What do you call a chicken staring at lettuce?
Chicken sees a salad.
Why did the butter keep talking? Because he felt like he was really on a roll.
Why did Eve bite the forbidden apple? Because it tasted better than Adam's banana.
Dog Joke: What do you call a Collie with a mango on it's back?
Mango Lassie.
What do you get when you cross a smurf and a cow?
Blue cheese.
What did the Mexican wrestler say after he ate a taco that was too spicy?
“It’s okay, I’ll just guac it off”
The orange juice industry is not doing very well.
Tomorrow they will give a special press release.
Why do the French eat snails? They dislike fast food.
What did one slice of bread say to the other before the race?
You’re toast!
What if soy milk is just regular milk that's trying to introduce itself in Spanish?
Did you hear about the secret guild of bakers? They say that they only trade recipes on a knead to know basis.
What's the difference between French fries and orange juice?
You can make orange juice out of orange, but not French fries out of French
What cheese is made backwards?
Edam.
Wife dropped a jar of pickles upon opening the fridge; glass and pickle juice went all over the kitchen floor.
Me: Don't worry, it's not a big dill.
Why don’t cows drink artificial milk? It’s too pow-dairy.
What do donuts think about donut puns? They donut like them!
What's yellow and always points to the north? A magnetic banana.
What did the hummus say to the pita bread when he got sick?
I falafel.
Avoid discussing coffee in sensitive company. It can make for a heated and strong debate.
What does a cat like to eat on his birthday? Mice cream and cake!
Did you hear about the cheese shop that was destroyed by a tornado?
All that’s left is da brie.
Apples and oranges had a conversation one day. Guess what the apples were saying the oranges, nothing stupid, apples don’t talk.
I sat on some peas in the car. It was a bumpea ride.
What kind of cheese do rodents like? Mousearella.
Do you hear about the pineapple and honeydew who try to get married? The court says that they cant – eloupe.
Why are they called tacos?
They don’t say much.
What’s a potatoes favorite horror movie? The Silence of the Yams.
Why wouldn’t the reporter leave the mashed potatoes alone? He desperately wanted a scoop.
What cookie makes you rich? A fortune cookie!
This year I'm carving my pumpkin to look like an intricate ball of rope, so it can be a gourd-ian knot.
Did you hear that the diet clinic was doing great business? They say that it’d really take your breadth away.
One of the most courageous souls in the world is anybody who looks at a pineapple and thinks that “I bet I would eat it.”
What do elephants drink on vacation?
Peanut coladas.
What are the best vegetables to sleep under?
a can of peas.
What did the annoyed peach say to the mango?
Man-go away!
How do you know when a cheese is full of himself?
Whatever you say, he’ll say he is feta.
A man went to his psychiatrist and complained that every time he drink coffee, he would get a stabbing pain in his right eye.
The psychiatrist said, “Well, have you tried taking the spoon out?”
A packing plant received a load of lettuce to process. The workers grabbed the boxes quickly from the top and the bottoms fell out spilling the produce.
The boss yells, grab the boxes by the bottom, or heads are going to roll!
What did the ice cream cone write on his valentine card?
You make me melt.
The favorite drink for batman is a fruit punch.