Eating no meat except fish is really bothersome.
I should stop being a Pesky-tarian.
Why did the peach think he was a pear for a while? He was feeling awfully green at first, but eventually his face became red.
What does a cheese like to drink after a long day?
Morbier.
Be like a pineapple: wear a crown, stand tall, and be always sweet on the inside.
I thought about making a new condiment that was a mixture of Ketchup and Mustard.
But then I decided the name KetchTard would be pretty MustUp.
What do sailors drink when they gather at a tavern to commiserate?
Port whine!
Q: What made the green pea turn red?
A: It saw the salad dressing.
Why did the banana go to the hairdressers? Because it had split ends!
I lost one pea from my plate at dinner the other day. It was an escape-pea.
What do you call an apple that's been around the world? Johnny Appleseed.
Why did the squirrel go to kola-nary school? Because it had pines to be a chef.
You had to use rennet to curdle the milk for making Ricotta, not lemon juice!
This is not the right whey.
In the last peach race, I put $30 peach way on two new racers.
You better watch out before you play a game with any bread? Baguette ready to lose.
How did the cheese professor start class every day?
Oh queso…
What did the health-nut say to himself at the gym? “No pine, no gain”
Do not eat that alphabet soup, or you will have a vowel movement.
You’re wine in a million.
He is the best chef in the city. His soups take my broth away.
Q: Why did the fruit finish her homework so quickly?
A: Because the homework was a peach of cake.
Where do nuts go for a quick energy boost?
The nearest Shell station.
Why is milk taller than you?
Because it's always pasteurize
A musical strawberry jam that knows how to play the trumpet is called Tooty fruity.
Why did the daddy peach teach the child peach to shave? He was starting to grow peach fuzz.
Why does cheese look normal? Because everyone else on the plate is crackers.
This pizza party is the perfect topping to a great summer.
What is the best part of Valentine’s day?
The day after, when all the chocolate goes on sale.
People order potatoes a lot because they look a-peeling on the menu.
What kind of pizza do you order on Christmas?
Cheeses Crust.
What do you call a group of cows that are on top of a hill? High steaks.
You knead me in your loaf. This one kind of works, but loaf is just a little too different from life.
Why can't Superman eat the corn tortillas at taco Tuesday?
He's afraid of that chip tonight.
It peels nice to be voted in as the most appeeling model in the contest.
What did one bread lover say to the other?
Before I break down and rye, I want you to know that I loaf you.
What kind of candy makes fun of you? Tootsie Trolls.
You and I make a deluxe combo.
Wondering about a peach's favorite movie? Well it has to be the 'King's Peach'.
Grandma: Do you like Hummus? Me: I love Hummus....and I sometimes like to singus!
Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato?
The lettuce was ahead while the tomato tried to ketchup.
What did the Soup Nazi say to the canine? What Soup Dawg.
What kind of cookies do vulcans love? Spockolate chips.
What do baristas say to their least-favorite customers? You mocha me crazy.
It’s not often that you find an eye anywhere but on the face. Cows, however, have a rib eye.”
What is a chocolate covered car called?
A Ferrari Rocher
Did you hear about the little people starting a beer making operation?
It's a micro brewery.
When a man went to the doctor to get rid of the strawberry that was growing out of his head, the doctor told him, "Don't worry. I'll give you some cream for that".
Did you hear about the CEO that got fired at the dairy farm? He was skimming a little bit off the top.
What’s a donut’s favorite lullaby?
“Sprinkle, Sprinkle Little Star.”
"Thanks a brunch for the meal!", said the punny man when he sat to eat.
What is the favorite punk band of onions? It is a band known as "Good Shallot"!