Where’s the best place to find out information about pistachios?
The inter-nut.
My sister thinks that she is so intelligent. She says onion is the only food which makes her cry. That is the reason why I threw a pineapple at her face.
Nobody wants to sit next to the watermelon in the class because it has a strange smelon.
When shouldn't you believe a word your cheese is saying? When it's too Gouda to be true.
I saw a pun on chocolate bars but it wasn’t that fun
So I just snickered.
Why did the cookie monster rob the keebler elves? Because they had a lot of dough.
How did the Iceland repel the bananas attack? By freezing them
What happens to a cherry tree when it grows up? It blossoms.
"Time to wine down."
What is an astronauts favorite chocolate? A marsbar!
What do they say when you leave the cheese store?
Have a gouda day!
Why did the FBI surround the president with cows? They were beefing up security!”
What covers the floor of the motzarella forest?
Cheese sticks.
Did you hear about the cow that committed murder? It was in cow-ld blood! How dairy.
Which fruity singer was a judge on 'The X Factor'? Cherry Cole.
You're about half as likely to die from a vegetable pun as you artichoke.
I got a pear stuck in my toilet. All I needed to do was flush and it was gone.
Because a flush always beats a pair.
What did the cheese say to the other cheese? I smell something swiss-picious!
You used to call me on my cell-ery phone.
I tried buying a car from a religious person and got a lemon!
I suppose you get what you prayed for..
I just watched someone try to steal a pumpkin from a bull.
He got gourd.
Someone who eats bananas must like them a whole bunch.
The perfect name for a sad and morose strawberry is a blueberry.
Why did the police arrest the milk after it was poured into a bowl of Fruit Loops? They witnessed him drown them. They knew he must be a cereal killer!
What do you call a metalhead working at Cold Stone? Alice Scooper.
Did you hear about the love affair between sugar and cream?
It was icing on the cake.
What do you call fraudulent milk? Cow-nterfeit.
Why did the cantaloupe jump into the pool?
“It wanted to be a watermelon.”
Walnuts are hard to crack open. It can take several mi-nuts.
Why can't the bankrupt cowboy complain? He's got no beef.
And what's its favorite Bob Marley song? Don't Worry, Be Frappé.
When does Oliver Stone eat ice cream? Any Given Sundae.
After the death of his wife a few years, the pineapple stands on the graveyard and says “I pine for you, sweetheart!”
What do you call a potato that has turned to the dark side? Vader tots!
I know a pea that's a famous singer. He's a VIP.
Why is ice cream so bad at tennis?
They have a soft serve.
Why was the potato put in an asylum? It was starch raving mad.
I was going to tell you a joke about an egg but it's not all it's cracked up to be.
If Megan Fox is a cake, then what is Amanda Bynes? A fruitcake.
What kind of milk do people drink in Mexico? Soy milk.
What do you call a cake that likes heavy metal? Megadeth by Chocolate.
What's the most popular American cheese sitcom? Curd Your Enthusiasm
How did the cheese get such curly hair?
It got a permasan.
How do you know it’s cold outside? When you milk a brown cow you get
chocolate ice cream.
Sometimes, all you need is to shake a few trees to find the perfect peach for you.
What do you call an onion monk who is present everywhere? Ommnion!
What do you call half a head of lettuce?
The Romaine-der.
What is the perfect name for a sad strawberry? It is called a blueberry.
Did you see the movie about the hot dog? It was an Oscar Wiener
How do you get a mouse to smile? Say cheese!