Why did the cheese shop owner finally quit the business?
He was tired of the daily rind.
What do you call a nut with a hairy upper lip?
A mustach-io
What kind of milk do people drink in Mexico? Soy milk.
Where can you find the best nuts in London? Nut-tinghill.
Q: Did you hear about the cherry that liked to explode?
A: It was da’ bomb.
"I'd like to make a toast!", said the bread to the bride on her wedding day.
What do you call it when 13 preschoolers have just had their juice?
A Daycare's Buzzin'.
Why is the baby strawberry crying?
Because its parents are jamming
I yam always very happy to eat sweet potatoes.
What do you call an onion that carries electromagnetic waves? A photonion.
Why did the pig go into the kitchen? He felt like bacon.
What do you call a nut that is crazy about exercise? A health nut.
How do you say “four avocados” in Spanish?
Um, avo-cuatro?
I sat on some peas in the car. It was a bumpea ride.
What did the Egg say to the boiling water? It's going to take awhile to get me hard I just got layed by some chick!
A strawberry who is a thief is called a rob-berry
What's the difference between Hummus and Humus?
"mmmm"
I’m a wrapper, so I get a lot of dough. A bread wrapper, that is.
How do you catch King Kong? Hang upside down and make a noise like a banana.
One strawberry said to the other, “Were it not that you were so sweet, you wouldn’t have ended up in this jam.”
The United Nations gave its members a basket of peaches on 21 September - the International Peach Day.
Do you know the hardest part about making skimmed milk? Having to throw the cows across the lake.
What do you call a musical lime?
John Lemon.
Who is the most powerful potato? Darth Tater.
Lemonade and iced tea make an Arnold Palmer. What do you get when you Mix Lemonade with a tea bag?
Benedict Arnold Palmer
What do leprechauns love to barbecue? Short ribs!
Why do baby seals swim in salt water? Cause pepper water makes them sneeze.
when I smelled breakfast in the morning it was bacon me eggcited.
Say this aloud: Eye Yam Stew Peed
What do you get with surprise peas?
Wet legs
"I need to re-wine my life."
Are avocados good for your heart?
Yes, they make for great avo-cardio.
What happens when an onion burps at the most awkward time? It releases tear gas.
What does a cat like to eat on his birthday? Mice cream and cake!
Why did the Oreo go to the dentist? Because it lost its filling
Why did the giant use clouds to make pancakes? To make them light and fluffy.
A bowl of salad went to church
Lettuce pray.
Due to unusually successful harvests of chickpeas this year, the price of hummus is going to fall dramatically.
Buy the dip.
What do you call a cup of leaf juice that doesn’t want to be a dad?
Absent-tea parent.
How do you share a piece of cheese with a bear?
Caerphilly.
When you cross an orange and a bunny, you will end up with a pip squeak.
Strawberries love delicious food. Their favorite is Jam-balaya.
What is a ghost pirate’s favorite kind of tea?
Boo tea!
What drink do you need to steal? Virgin-tea. Why do hipsters only drink iced tea? Because ice was water before it was cool.
My wife started a tropical diet
There’s so much stuff in the house it’s enough to make a mango crazy.
What's the manliest fruit to eat?
Mango.
Did you know there’s an app for corn growers?
It’s made in Sili-corn Valley!
My son just tried to tell me a joke about pumpkins.
Oh, gourd, was it awful.
Strawberries love to travel. Their favorite mode of transport is the wind-jam-mer.
What do you call a single, solitary kernel of corn?
A unicorn!