Are you a taco?
Cause you sure taco lot
What did the nut say when it caught on fire? Roast-nuts, almond fire!
The baby strawberries were berry upset when they heard that both their parents were in the jam.
Tobacco companies have made an orange flavored cigarette. They call it “Nico-tang”
At the bar mitzvah ceremony, the Jewish onion greeted his uncle by saying 'Shallot'.
I replaced the milk in the carton with lemon juice. Everyone was really sour about it.
What does a pirate pay for his corn?
A buccaneer!
Where was the first donut cooked?
In Greece.
Why did the blonde buy a brown cow? To get chocolate milk.
Q: Why wouldn’t the teacher bring the class to the green pea farm?
A: It was in a seedy part of town.
I have a beer snob friend with Photophobia. He hates natural light.
How did the pine propose to the apple? With a pineapple ring.
What do you call a sausage that's been to the doctor? Cured meat!
Where did the garlic clove go to have a few drinks? The Salad Bar!
What do you call it when a cheese goes #2?
Fondue-due.
What drink breaks the ice? Flirt-Tea. How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
I lost one pea from my plate at dinner the other day. It was an escape-pea.
Did you hear? The pilgrims rode the May-Flour so that they could bake bread as they went to America. This is a cute option.
Did you hear about the flatmate who woke up to a spicy toothbrush? He had it cumin.
What does a cheese say when you ask him to share a secret?
He cantal.
Don't drink too much coffee after breakfast. You might face a latte problems.
What do you call a chicken staring at a salad?
Chicken sees a salad.
What is the recipe for Honeymoon Salad? Lettuce alone without dressing.
"Time to wine down."
What did the girl dinosaur ask her pet dog?
"Do you want some tea, Rex?"
What do cherries say to their best friends? You are cherrific!
Where do nuts go for a quick energy boost?
The nearest Shell station.
Why was the burger sad after losing the race? Because the hotdog was the weiner.
A magnetic strawberry is always red and points north.
What does a cheese say when they look in the mirror in the morning?
Halloumi.
What's the difference between French fries and orange juice?
You can make orange juice out of orange, but not French fries out of French
Why did the Jack-O-Lantern go to the pumpkin patch?
Because he had holes in him.
What happened to the lost beef shipment? Nobody's herd.
Where’s the best place to find out information about pistachios?
The inter-nut.
The watermelon plant didn’t like sharing a garden with passion vines; but they started to grow on him.
One day on the highway, I saw a packet of onions and cheese walking down the road. When I offered them a lift, they declined by saying that they were 'Walkers'.
What's a pickle's favorite book?
To Dill A Mockingbird.
What is a pirate’s favorite cheese?
Ched-arrrrgh!
Why did one pineapple invite another to their party? Because they were real piner-pals.
Why was the chef surprised that anyone like her bread?
She thought it was crumby.
A berry funny strawberry candy is called a Laffy taffy.
While leaving, the peach friend told his sad buddy, "If you need any help, just peach out, I will be there."
My brother gave me whole milk, but I can only have nut milk with my cereal. How dairy!
What do you call a dog with a fever? A hot dog.
The soup that my mom made for dinner healed my flu in a day. It was almost soup-er natural.
I have been trying to write a new pizza joke…
But I can’t work out the delivery.
What’s the opposite of coffee?
Sneezy.
What did the guest say when he arrived at the peanut butter’s dinner party?
“Nice spread!”
The old and wise onion had once told me that life is similar to onions. Whenever we peel off our protective layers, we end up crying.
The strawberry was scared of the cream. They were afraid it had gone bad.