Have you heard the one about the lemon cat?
It was a real sour puss.
Q: What’s a donut’s favorite drink?
A: Hole-y water!
Did you hear about the love affair between sugar and cream?
It was icing on the cake.
How does the recipe for German Sauerbraten begin? "First invade ze kitchen."
When you finish the lemons that life gives you;
Sublime.
I like my wine sweet and my humor dry.
What day to eggs hate the most?
Fry-day.
What do dogs love to eat for breakfast?
woofles
What does a man consider a seven-course meal? A hot dog and a six pack of beer.
I hate it when I run out of bread for breakfast. I am lack-toast intolerant.
I tried out a lactose free diet. I stopped because I couldn’t figure out how to milk the almonds.
Did you hear about the love affair between sugar and cream? It was icing on the cake.
Q: Why did the fruit stop for some time while driving?
A: It wanted to make a quick pit-stop
"Scone be a lot of fun. Wheat love for you to join us."
What did baby corn say to Mama corn?
Where's Popcorn?
What do we call two thousand pounds of Chinese soup? It is called won – ton!
What does a cheese say when they look in the mirror in the morning?
Halloumi.
What happened to the criminal magician who ate to much salt?
Cardiac arrest.
What do teachers drink at school? Facul-Tea.
What kind of beer can you make from a potato?
Spud Light.
I can’t remember who it’s by, but you could have “It Started With A Hershey’s Kiss”.
What do you call a cow on the barnyard floor? Ground Beef What do you call a cow with no front legs? Lean Beef
Why did the man keep punching his doughy friend?
To get a rise out of him!
I had thought of a lot of good bread puns, but they seem to have gone a rye. I know the feeling.
What do you call a Vegetarian with diarrhea? A Salad Shooter.
Whats the best cheese to coax a bear down a mountain? Camembert (Come On Bear)
I slept with a lemon once. Now I have lemonaids.
What do we get when we cross a Christmas tree with an apple? We will have a pine – apple!
What do you tell a cheese going through a hard time?
Ricotta get through this.
This pizza party is the perfect topping to a great summer.
I was hoping my friend would catch the lemon-lime soda i tossed her.
But unfortunately Sierra Mist
What do you call 2000 pounds of Chinese soup? Won Ton.
Why couldn’t the cheese sleep?
He was scared there was a munster under the bed.
You shouldn’t put orange slices in your beer. Well, maybe once in a Blue Moon.
My mom likes to feed everyone the soup she makes. She said it is her broth right.
What is the wealthiest nut ever?
“A cashooo.”
If you’re looking for potato puns, you can count on me to chip in.
I am pretty sure that the favourite soup of Dracula is the Scream of tomato.
Make no bones about it, home made stock is a really good base for soups.
I like fried chickpeas, but I shouldn't eat them. Every time I do I falafel.
What did the toast say to the psychic?
You bread my mind!
If tomatoes are a fruit
Then ketchup is a smoothie.
You know what they say about ice cream parents?
They play flavorites.
What did the pumpkin say to the jar? Soon I will be ajar too.
You can fix a broken strawberry with a strawberry patch.
What do you say to an avocado who’s done a good job?
“Bravocado!”
We had made everything for the party and the groom came in, did a quick assessment and didn’t seem amused. “Orange you glad we did this?” we asked him.
What fruit loves chocolate?
A cocoa nut.
All the peanuts decided to start a social nutwork where they would all link up for a common good and even advocate for their rights.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite track and field event?
The curdles.