If you are what you eat, does that mean all squirrels are nuts?
Why do we enjoy wine jokes?
Because they're de-vine!
What happened when one friend forgot to brew her pal a coffee? Their friendship came to a bitter end.
What did man say to the guacamole?
Avocado crush on you.
Why don't the Maple Leafs drink tea? Because the Canadiens and Red Wings have all the cups.
I'm not too fond of not finishing my entire bowl of cereal. I think I have irritable bowl syndrome.
What do you call a lamb covered in chocolate? A Candy Baa. Did you hear about the love affair between Mr. Goodbar and Peppermint Patty? They had a baby, Ruth.
When an unripe strawberry saw the ripe strawberry, it went green with envy.
I’m chocolate to my appointment!
"Giving you more reasons to wine."
One day, my stepfather ordered some fish tacos. I asked him what kind of fish goes in a fish taco.
He said, "Dead."
What did the peanut say to the cashew after their argument?
Imma cashew outside!
Soft fruit is not always the best at doing research. They aren’t very thorough; they tend to cherry pick information.
What does a good spice rack help you win? The Hunger Games.
Why shouldn't you shop at the Banana Republic? Because the employees look like a bunch of dicks.
What do you call the king of vegetables? Elvis Parsley.
Despite the pun being so orange-inal, it wasn’t all that funny.
I'm not saying you're old, but if you were milk I'd sniff you first.
Why do Jack-o-lanterns have silly smiles on their faces? You'd have a silly smile, too, if you had just had all your brains scooped out!
What do you call an angry nut with a mustache?
A pistachio.
What happened to the renegade donuts?
They went down in a glaze of glory.
I stopped eating pea soup. I gave it up for lentil.
Why are cherries unassuming? Because they often get made into humble pie.
I wasn’t sure if I ordered enough tacos from Taco Bell.
So I got a just in quesadilla.
What’s the only fruit that never gets lonely?
A pear.
A berry from which you can directly drink out of is a straw-berry.
just bought 5 slabs of San miguel, 10 sombreros and 25 tacos,
I'm Hispanic buying
What did the fans say to the band named after a famous chickpea spread?
Hummus a tune.
You shouldn’t put orange slices in your beer. Well, maybe once in a Blue Moon.
Q: Where do fruits like to go on vacations?
A: To the peach.
Why don’t oranges go around blind?
“Because they take Vitamin See!”
What drink do goalies hate? Penal-tea.
What did the judge say at the finale of the meat throwing competition? The steaks have never been higher!
My mother says: “Leave that peach cobbler alone on the table!” However, I cannot help myself and sneak in to watch it making beautiful peach shoes.
Why did the orange’s musical number receive a bad review?
Because it wasn’t an “orange-inal.”
Gluten-free, dairy-free, fat-free – I love this new Champagne Diet!
What do you call it when you walk into a coffee shop and feel like you've been there before? Déja-brew.
“How are you? ” “Well, I yam fried”
Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock? Because it was marble cake!
On Valentine's Day, the peach said to his wife, "You will always have a peach of my heart!"
Where should you call if you find a bad cheese shop?
The feta business bureau.
Bananas, for breakfast, are such an a-peeling choice.
Swallowing a cherry stone is not the end of the world. It’s just one of life’s little pitfalls.
What do you call a fat pumpkin?
A plumpkin!
What do cannibals eat for dessert? Chocolate covered aunts.
Why does a little cherry always look up to its parents? It tries to follow in their fruitsteps.
The price of candy at the movie theater is quite ridiculous. They're always raisinet!
What’s the difference between a delivery driver and the pizza they deliver?
The pizza can feed a family of four.
Why is corn popular around Halloween?
Because it’s so earie.
What kind of cheese protects a castle?
Moat-zarella.