On Father's Day my family went strawberry picking. Later on, we decided to make a jam...
...from the fruits of our labor
Once I got peas stuck in my ear. I had to make people re-pea-t themselves.
What happened to the pig who liked pineapple? He turned into a porky-pine!
What competition do nuts participate in?
The peanut butter cup.
I think I drank some expired milk. I just have a gut feeling.
What do you call hot dogs in winter? Chilly dogs!
If Santa made love to a pickle, what would they call their baby?
Claussen.
Why did the farmer buy a brown cow?
He wanted chocolate milk.
Do not be sad because of these bad words. You are always a fineapple in my heart.
The young lady had to throw her toaster in the trash. She was diagnosed as black-toast intolerant.
What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven? Angel food cake, of course!
What do you call a rifle that shoots salt?
A salt rifle.
How do you describe a polite german lemon?
Bitte(r)
Why can’t people without feet have dairy products? They lactose.
My wife was trying to feed our son a pear, and he was refusing.
I said, Good news. Our son is immune to pear pressure.
Why did I start making a cherry pie? Bake-cause I love it.
Who is the corniest baseball player of all time?
Ty Cobb!
Where do you go to learn how to make ice cream?
Sundae school.
The strawberry went out with the grape only because he couldn't find a date.
What excuse did the late watermelon give his boss? He said be there in 5 boss, I’m just rind the corner.
I recently got a new job as a golf caddy, but I was fired after less than an hour.
The guy asked me for a sand wedge. I don't think he likes pickle.
What do they call Chris Christie in New Jersey? Cake Boss.
What makes the soup of a dragon so delicious is the addition of firecrackers.
Q: Did you hear about the cherry that liked to explode?
A: It was da’ bomb.
A crayon that looks like a strawberry is usually called a cranberry.
What kind of candy bar does an employee crave before the weekend? A Payday
Why do comedians often start their act with peanut butter jokes? They love to warm up the crown by spreading the laughter.
What did the salt say after it was pepper-sprayed?
That's nothing to sneeze at.
You’re the tater to my tot. I miss you a lot!
Why did the peach go to the therapist? It was in a pit of despair.
Sometimes, all you need is to shake a few trees to find the perfect peach for you.
How do you defeat a meat-loving vampire? With a steak to the heart!
What type of a computer does a horse like to eat? A Macintosh
Two peanuts were walking down the road but only one was attacked. They suspect the reason was the other was unsalted.
Why did black chocolate cry over his wine glass?
Because it was his bitter half.
Why is green ice cream so serendipitous?
It was mint to be.
Why do bananas wear suntan lotion? Because they peel!
When she spotted fake ramen in her soup, she said, “ This soup has impasta in it.”
How do you get the most apples at Halloween? Take a snorkel.
Q: What happened to the peach who went to meet the knife?
A: He came back in many peaches.
Who answers the door at the nut house?
The peanut buttler.
A man likes sending random stuff to his friends through the mail because he finds it funny.
This particular time the man takes some lettuce to the post office to ship to a friend from back home.
He tries to package it up but it won't fit unless he cuts it into smaller peices. He cuts it up and stuffs it in a large envelope, however he forgets to write out and attach a shipping label. He doesn't realize his mistake at the time and brings it to the counter to send.
The postal workers says: "You can't send a salad like that, it needs adressing".
“Mom, what do we have for this dinner?” – “I cannot tell you. It is a little soup-prise, son!”
What happens if life gives you melons? Your dyslexic
Why did the egg go to school?
To get egg-ucated.
Where do Russians get all of their milk from? Mos-cow!
"I hate tacos!"
Said no Juan ever.
Why does everyone invite ice cream to the party?
It’s cool.
Apparently there's a fruit that is naturally radioactive.
I think that's bananas!
It's Taco Night, so on my way home, I grabbed a bag of shredded cheese at the store, queso we needed some more.
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