"Love the wine you're with."
Why did the hamburger dress up as a computer? Because he wanted to be a Big Mac.
What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven? Angel food cake, of course!
What’s the only type of melon that changes colours at will? Well, a chamelon.
Do you know what the favourite soup of a ghost is? It is the Scream of Broccoli.
What do politicans need to drink? Honest-Tea.
It is a bad film because good ones tend to have created atop day-old soup.
I was visiting my dear old Grandpa the other day when he said to me, "Let me give you a bit of advice. You can't make an omelette..."
"Without breaking eggs?" I finished for him.
"No. You can't make an omelette," he said, as he scraped it into the bin.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite rap artist?
Feta wap.
Why did the cherry go to the good drinks factory? It was cordially invited.
How do two cherries make up after an argument? They cherry the hatchet.
Where do bugs go to watch the big game? Apple-Bees.
"Sip happens."
What do you get when you dip a kitten in chocolate?
A Kitty Kat bar.
Which fruity singer was a judge on 'The X Factor'? Cherry Cole.
Did you hear about the lemons that got sick?
They got lime disease.
What did the pumpkin say to the jar? Soon I will be ajar too.
"I make pour decisions."
People say nothing rhymes with orange. It seems very strange to me.
What do you call a potato that has turned to the dark side? Vader tots!
Why do donuts make terrible teachers?
They’re always glazing over the important stuff.
You and I make a deluxe combo.
Why was the cheese asked to leave the restaurant?
The cook said “we don’t serve your rind here”.
What type of keys does the gingerbread man unlock his door with? cook-keys!
Cherries are actually great at a lot of different sports. Their favorite one, in case you were wondering, is archerry.
Why don't the Maple Leafs drink tea? Because the Canadiens and Red Wings have all the cups.
The United Nations gave its members a basket of peaches on 21 September - the International Peach Day.
Before I ducked out to the shops, my wife asked me to put ketchup on the shipping list.
Now I can't read it.
My doctor told me "No more spicy food.", but I decided to have one last fennel fling.
If we cross lobster bisque and Elon Musk, what we have is a soup-er car
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk
This year I'm carving my pumpkin to look like an intricate ball of rope, so it can be a gourd-ian knot.
Whenever I feel like wining, I remind myself to put a cork in it.
What’s a potato’s least favorite dance? The Mash Potato.
How does a restaurant get the freshest ingredients? They cut a dill.
What did the doughnut say to the pizza?
If I had as much dough as you, I wouldn’t be hanging around this hole.
What type of relationships do hotdogs like to have? A frank relationship, they can’t stand lies.
When the egg saw the pan, it was terri-fried.
The peach was late for work because it had to make some pit stops on the way.
Broccoli: I look like a tree. Walnut: I look like a brain. Mushroom: I look like an umbrella. Banan Can we change the topic?
A strawberry usually needs batteries when it runs out of juice.
To the person who has been eating all of my mixed nuts.
I'm going to cashew.
What is a popular name for girl peanuts?
Michelle.
Did you know dried fruits favorite news segments is...
Current events.
After I helped a peach with some work, she said, "I really ap-peach-iate your help!"
just bought 5 slabs of San miguel, 10 sombreros and 25 tacos,
I'm Hispanic buying
When she asked me if I like soup, I replied saying "I am crazy pho soups".
What do you call a barking pumpkin?
A gourd dog.
Wine if you must. It’s not good to bottle up your emotions.
Which Star Wars character was the orange cast for?
Emperor Pulpatine.