Strawberries have berry good eyesight because they are packed with a lot of Vitamin See.
What is the charge for beating someone with a bottle of olive oil and a can of chick peas ?
Attempted Hummus-ide.
What did the boss say to his pizza during their meeting?
There’s mushroom for improvement.
Why was the baker in a serious panic? He thought that he was in a loaf or death situation.
What happened when a farmer crossed a chili pepper, a shovel, and a pitbull? He got a hot-diggity-dog.
What do you call a musical lime?
John Lemon.
Husband: "These pears a perfect right now."
Me: "Would you say they're 'pear-fect'?"
Where do you store peach juice? Inside of a peach-er.
What does a pirate pay for his corn?
A buccaneer!
What do you call yogurt that is terrified of other dairy products? A cow-ard!
Why is the strawberry loved dearly by everyone? Because it is berry sweet.
"I'll be right back, I need to go for a pea," said the fruit during the interval.
What do you call a watermelon that spends all day at the beauty spa? Must be a hottermmelon.
What does a cat like to eat on his birthday?
Mice cream and cake!
Why did the burglar break into the bakery? A; Because he heard the cakes were rich.
American cherries generally do pretty well at high school. Many of them end up on the cherryleading squad.
What do sailors drink when they gather at a tavern to commiserate?
Port whine!
Cows love music. In fact, they even have a favourite note: beef flat.
The bag of flour was so confused.He thought that he saw his friend the loaf yeast-erday.
I made some fish tacos last night....
But they just ignored them and swam away.
Cherry pie will set you back 10 dollars in Antigua, but 15 in Barbados. Yes, those are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
My friend accidentally got salt in his papercut.
Talk about adding insalt to injury.
What do you call an evil lemon?
Sour On
How does the Skywalker family like their tea?
Lukewarm.
What did the lovesick pig sing to his girlfriend? Don't go bacon my heart!
You don't know jack-o-lantern
What do you call a person who spends a lot of time sitting and staring at potatoes? A medi-tator.
What do you call a pear in a compressor?
Pear pressure!
What do you get when you cross a human and a pear?
A pear-son.
What did the coffees say before their night out? Let's stir up some trouble.
What do you call meat balls falling from the sky? A meat-ior shower.
They say that the local baker is the breadwinner of his family. True enough.
This guy walks into the doctor's office with a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear.
The nut stayed c-almond and collected during the earthquake.
What did the annoyed peach say to the mango?
Man-go away!
What do you call a pastry that is a priest? A Holy Donut!
What does a meditating egg say?
Ohmmmmmmmlet.
Where did the onion find his family history?
In the archives
Talking at the local chocolate factory is frowned on. When I’m there, I need to wispa.
Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato?
The lettuce was ahead while the tomato tried to ketchup.
Why did the hamburger dress up as a computer? Because he wanted to be a Big Mac.
A truck with an entire load of strawberries has crashed on the motorway. It's caused a real traffic jam.
What do you sing to cows on their birthdays?
Happy birthday to moo…
What did Snow White call her chicken?
Egg White.
What did the ice-cream say to the unhappy birthday cake? "What's eating you?"
Are you a taco?
Cause you sure taco lot
What did an angry donut say to his wife?
Donut talk to me.
Ciabatta stay away from me because I don’t want naan of that. That’s one way to tell someone to keep away.
Why do we love wine puns?
Because they're grape!
What’s a good way to start a conversation with a cheese plate on Tinder?
“Hello. Is it brie you’re looking for?”