Trying to find a new place, I don’t need mushroom.
The fruit teacher taught figures of peach in today's class.
What did the cheese say after escaping the mouse? I'm Brieeee!
Which is the Richest Cheese in the world? Paris Stilton.
Why did the banana go out with a lemon?
Because it couldn't find a date!
I saw an egg behaving oddly today.
It was probably just a bit egg-centric.
Let's pumpkin spice things up a bit
After I show a peach the way, it says: “I really ap-peach-iate your help!”
Which book will be preferred by a man who sells milk? Cream and Punishment.
What did the boss say to his pizza during their meeting?
There’s mushroom for improvement.
How does white chocolate turn into dark chocolate?
Turn off the lights.
What is the chemical formula of the molecules in sweets? Carbon-holmium-cobalt-lanthanum-tellurium or CHoCoLaTe
What drives cheese crazy?
That everyone around them is crackers.
Why do communist hate bacon?
Because it’s from capitalist pigs.
I’ve been told that I need to stop making puns about meat… But I just can’t stop cold turkey.
What cheese is made backwards?
Edam.
What do you do when a pickle wants to play cards?
Dill'em in.
It’s too bad that bread puns are always so crumby. Mmm . . . crumbs.
Why did the coffee call the police? Because it was mugged.
Who is a potato’s favorite author? Edgar Allen Poe-tato.
Vegetarians can't eat anything with beans in. They don't eat food with a pulse.
After I helped a peach with some work, she said, "I really ap-peach-iate your help!"
Do you know why a pineapple can be a good observer? Because it has a lot of eyes around its body.
Why don’t cows drink artificial milk? It’s too pow-dairy.
The students were going nuts when they saw all the assignments due in the curri-kola-m.
Why does a cow hate artificial milk? Because the substance is pow-dairy.
What do you call a sausage that's been to the doctor? Cured meat!
I really like corn, but I can't find it because this time of year it's never in stalk
Did you hear about the pea pod that became damaged?
It had to wear a pod cast.
My son's has never really had much of an appetite.
But suddenly today he's eaten a dozen Kinder eggs whole.
He's full of surprises.
I was souper excited to hear some soup puns for the comic chef - but his performance did not excite miso much.
What do athletes drink before games? Sport-Tea.
Whenever I’m in France I always start the day with a bowl of mushrooms...
Breakfast of champinions
What’s another name for a chess-nut? A nut who loves chess.
What do you get when you cross Frosty with a baker?
Frosty the Dough-Man!
Ciabatta stay away from me because I don’t want naan of that. That’s one way to tell someone to keep away.
They asked how the watermelon farmer felt after winning the lottery; clever bugger said he felt like a melon bucks.
Why was the peach so sad at the funeral? It left a deep pit in its heart.
What do you call an onion that is very sick and has a high temperature? It is a boiling onion.
There's no need to cherry your feelings, I know you love me really.
Did you hear about the man who stole thousands of dollars worth of rare tea?
He went to prison for Oolong time.
What is the difference between a pineapple and a school bus? The little pricks are on the inside of the bus, but on the outside of the pineapple.
If you put ice cream on the nutty brownie, you’re serving it ala-mond.
Whats the name of the movie about Bacon? Frankenswine, or you can go see Hamlet.
What was the pumpkin's favorite sport?
Squash.
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? SpongeBob SquarePants!
When can a pizza marry a hot dog? After a very frank relationship.
I've been feeling really down recently so I thought I'd cheer myself up by making a nice cheese and pickle sandwich.
But when I picked up the pickle jar, it said "reject if depressed", so now I'm off to take an overdose.
How do the New England Patriots eat their soup? In a Super Bowl.
What’s the only fruit that never gets lonely?
A pear.