The favorite drink for batman is a fruit punch.
What kind of keys does a kid skeleton use on Halloween? Cook-keys.
The peach couple is in love. They seem to be born for peach other.
Pumpkin Spice and Everything Nice
What’s sweet and goes woof?
Pupcakes!
If you are a fan of alphabet soup, then you might also know times new ramen.
What did the boy say when his mom made him prepare the corn for supper?
This shucks!
My grandmother was famous all over town for growing delicious strawberries.
She made me promise that when she died, I would plant her strawberries on her grave so that people could enjoy them when they visited. When she passed away I fulfilled my promise. She’s dead and berried.
What do you call fake oranges?
“Pulp Fiction”
Just found a fly in my beer. I'm feeling buzzed.
What if soy milk is just regular milk that's trying to introduce itself in Spanish?
This kind of wine does not go right through you. Trust me, you will pee no noir.
Who wrote the book "Great Egg-spectations"?
Charles Chickens.
The Paddington bears don’t eat lots of marmalade sandwiches because they are already stuffed.
I ran out of toilet paper, so started wiping using lettuce leaves
But I'm scared this is the tip of the iceberg.
You knead me in your loaf. This one kind of works, but loaf is just a little too different from life.
What do you call real bacon?
Genuswine
What's in a honeymoon salad?
Lettuce alone
Why is Mrs Mayo mad at Mr Ketchup?
She caught him watching the salad dressing again.
What do fruits do when they are really really afraid? They run away as fast as their legs can cherry them.
How many peaches can you fit inside two cans? It depends how big the Toucans are and if they eat peaches.
What competition do nuts participate in?
The peanut butter cup.
What do you call a lazy spud? A couch potato.
My bag of fruit snacks had all grapes
Today’s gonna be a grape day!
Why did the farmer hang raincoats all over his orchard? Someone told him he should get an apple Mac
A con artist tried to convince me he could ejaculate deli meat
What a load of bologna.
How did the cheese professor start class every day?
Oh queso…
For the last few Sundays, I have been receiving an onion pun in the mail. I don't know who is sending them. Guess it is onionymous.
What do you do with epileptic lettuce? You make a seizure salad!
What do you call a nut who works hard? One who burns the mid-nut oil.
My sister thinks that she is so intelligent. She says onion is the only food which makes her cry. That is the reason why I threw a pineapple at her face.
What’s the perfect gift for someone who is always raisin’ the bar? Oatmeal
raisin.
What do you call a pickle that got run over on the road?
Road dill.
What do you call a baby lion on lettuce?
Cub Salad.
I'd tell you about a girl that eats nothing but vegetables,
but I'm sure you've herbivore.
I can’t help but laugh a little when I see a pun about chocolate bars… snickers
What does a cat like to eat on his birthday? Mice cream and cake!
What do you call a fruit riding a motorcycle?
“An Orange County Chopper.”
What's a pickle's favorite book?
To Dill A Mockingbird.
“We are experiencing slight tuber-lence on the flight”
Police arrested a man who dropped his phone in the ocean. The was charged with a salt in battery.
What do you call a lamb covered in chocolate? A Candy Baa. Did you hear about the love affair between Mr. Goodbar and Peppermint Patty? They had a baby, Ruth.
Chopping down other people’s cherry trees is definitely frowned upon. However, you likely won’t get into too much trouble for it – as long as you keep hold of the axe!
What happens when you go on an all-cheese diet?
You cheddar few pounds.
You can never make a crumble with just 3.14 strawberries because that would make a pi.
The squirrel’s chest got dirty with nuts, now it has a chest-nut.
During World War 2, sending food to the troops was a challenge. Researchers had to concentrate to figure out how to send orange juice.
What do you call a half dozen wolves drinking beer?
A six pack.
Why did the butcher work overtime at the grocery store? To make ends meat!
Why did the hot dog turn down a chance to star in a major motion picture? None of the rolls (roles) were good enough.