Which sports team do wine lovers always root for?
The Reds!
“My favorite color is tangerine- isn’t that orange-inal?”
What does a surprised pumpkin say?
OH MY GOURD!
I mashed a few mangoes, pineapples, melons, strawberries, and grapes into a pot. Served the mash to guests visiting my place.
Called the dish, Mea Pulpa.
What did the kid nut say to the other when playing tag? “I’m going to cashew”.
Why don't bananas snore? Because they don't want to wake up the rest of the bunch.
Why did the burglar break into the bakery? A; Because he heard the cakes were rich.
"On cloud wine."
Why did the coffee call the police? Because it was mugged.
When everyone agreed with Hulk at breakfast that they love waffles more, he said, "Not all heroes wear crepes."
In a world that is full of apples, it is much better to be a pineapple.
He apologized for driving the orange to the edge of the blade
What does a piece of cheese tell you during a game of tag?
Cheez it.
Sorry kids - we won't be carving pumpkins this year... Sorry to squash your enthusiasm.
What happened to the pig who liked pineapple? He turned into a porky-pine!
I think therefore I yam.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
What did the newspaper say to the ice cream? What's the scoop
What does a hippy cherry wear to a festival? A pie dye T-shirt.
I got fruit preserves on my finger.
Doctor said it was jammed.
Why did Wonder Woman rescue the Wine?
Because that's what grape lady superheroes do!
Why did the students eat their homework? Because the teacher said that it was a piece of cake.
Did you hear about the butcher who sat on his bacon slicer?
He got a little behind in his deliveries.
How many grams of protein are there in that slice of chocolate pie? 3.14159265.
What drink breaks the ice? Flirt-Tea. How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
What did one cheese tell the other cheese on Valentine’s day?
Brie mine.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef!
How do monkeys get down the stairs? They slide down the banana-ster!
What is a corn's favorite song?
Corn fields forever.
My wife won't let me become a bean farmer. Why won't she just let me work in peas!
What did the salt say when the phosphate asked to bond with it?
"NaCl ater."
Did you hear about the orange boxer?
He got beaten to a pulp.
What do squirrels eat at the fair?
A-corn dog.
Have you heard of the new squirrel diet?
“It’s just nuts.”
Who tells the best egg jokes?
Comedi-hens.
Singular: One mango
Plural: Two menwent
How did the coffee show its love? It said, "Words cannot espresso how much you bean to me."
Whenever the peach father gets mad at his son, he just screams loudly: “You are the son of a peach!”
What do French cherry parents say to their little cherries at home? You are mon cherry.
The thing about milk-inspired puns is you only reach 2% of their potential.
Why don't bananas snore?
Because they don't want to wake up the rest of the bunch.
An organization that citricises its workers cannot get the maximum juice out of them.
What do you call an emotionally unstable peanut? Peanut brittle
Can I have some of your avocado?
GUAC NO! I give zero guacs! You need to guac off!
Why did the wine connoisseur insist on drinking from an old tire?
He heard it was a Goodyear!
Why was the ketchup feeling bad?
Because it had the squirts.
"Are you sure about this?"
"Crust me, I'm on a roll."
What do you call a baker with a cold?
Coughee cake.
Why do milking stools only have three legs? The cows keep the udder safe.
The cashew called the peanut boring.
The peanut felt very unsalted.