Why do golfers love donuts?
Always a hole-in-one!
Who tells the best egg jokes?
Comedi-hens.
What do you call a male orange?
Mangerine!
Why did the banana fail his driving test? He kept peeling out.
How can we tell the difference between a can of beef soup and a can of pork soup? Just read the labels.
My neighbor said a man walked into my garden and stole my mangoes.
I am wondering where did that mango.
Last night I was kidnapped by Aliens. They forced to work providing teas and coffees on their spaceship.
I told one alien that I couldn't find any milk. He said "In space, no one can. Here, use cream."
What do you get when you cross a bean and an onion?
Teargas.
My son's asked for a strange Christmas present this year. It's really cheap though so I don't mind.
I'm not sure why he wants an eggs box though.
Why did the hot dog turn down a chance to star in a major motion picture? None of the rolls (roles) were good enough.
What's black, white, orange, and waddles? A penguin carrying a Jack-o-lantern.
After his meal, the cannibal wipes his mouth and says: “My wife cooks the greatest soup in the world. But I will miss her so much.”
Despite the pun being so orange-inal, it wasn’t all that funny.
How do you keep bacon from curling in the pan?
You take away their little brooms
Did you know that Beethoven's favorite fruit
Ba Na Na Naaa...Ba Na Na Naaa...
Be careful! Theres a deadly fruit on the loose
He has 7 charges of armed Strawbbery.
Peaches tend to be really mean. After all, they have hearts of stone.
What did the apple teacher say to her student? Help me orange the chairs please!
Salami get this straight - you don't like meat puns?!
I earned money by selling broth. Now I am a bouillonaire.
Did you hear that the diet clinic was doing great business? They say that it’d really take your breadth away.
What did the vicar use for his vegetable patch?
Lettuce spray.
What do vets call a paralyzed squirrel? A busted nut.
My daughter picked up a piece of fruit and asked, "Is this a pear?"
"No," I replied, "there is only one."
"Let's get fizzical. Pass the prosecco."
The worst type of criminal is he who mugs other people's coffee.
What does a cherry say when it delivers bad news? Don't fruit the messenger.
Why is the corn army so dysfunctional?
Cause there are too many Kernels.
I don’t want naan of that. Neither do I!
The walnut was not good at sports but did really well with his macadamia at school.
What do you call it when Satan steals your guacamole?
Playing Devil’s Avocado.
What happened after the conifer fell in love at the orchard? A pineapple tree.
How did the Iceland repel the bananas attack? By freezing them
In a world that is full of apples, it is much better to be a pineapple.
“My favorite color is tangerine- isn’t that orange-inal?”
What is the best type of nut for your home wall decor? A walnut.
Do you know what you call the outside of a watermelon?
“Rind of.”
When is a vegetable also a nut?
When it’s a corn!
I thought I'd have some evaporated milk on my pudding. But when I opened it, it was empty.
Corn mazes should be renamed Maize mazes.
How does Reese eat her ice cream?
Witherspoon.
What is a French cat's favorite dessert? Chocolate mousse!
What do you call hot dogs in winter? Chilly dogs!
What did the baby corn call his dad?
Pop corn!
The baby strawberries were berry upset when they heard that both their parents were in the jam.
"Sip, sip hooray."
Q: What’s a donut’s favorite drink?
A: Hole-y water!
What do you call a sloppy Joe made with taco seasoned beef?
Sloppy José
While cutting the onions, my eyes were leek-ing tears
What did the vegetables say to the Salad Dressing? Lettuce all smile.