"You focaccia bag, crumb back and get it."
Oranges rarely pass driving tests, this is because they keep on peeling out.
What's a pickle's life philosophy?
Never a dill moment.
Why did the giant use clouds to make pancakes?
To make them light and fluffy.
I caught my sister click and post a picture of the soupy noodles yesterday. She was actively instagramen.
What happened to the renegade donuts?
They went down in a glaze of glory.
What do get when you cross a chili pepper, steam shovel, and a Chihuahua? Hot, diggety dog.
Why did the butcher work overtime at the grocery store? To make ends meat!
"Is that a yay or cabernet?"
What does a pirate pay for his corn?
A buccaneer!
How do comedians like their eggs?
Funny side up.
What do you call it when vegetables have siblings?
Pumpkin.
What does a hippy cherry wear to a festival? A pie dye T-shirt.
What did the orange say when a knife pierced it’s peel? Flesh wound.
What's green and swims in the sea?
Moby Pickle.
What was the main job of the bread truck? To haul buns.
I’m opening a grocery store that specializes in Swiss cheese and donuts.
I’m calling it Hole Foods.
What is a cannibal’s favorite cheese?
Limb-burger.
The apple says to the pineapple “What? Go out with you tonight? It will not happen in a million years!” Since then, we have a crushed pineapple.
Why did the blonde buy a brown cow? To get chocolate milk.
Potato puns are a-peeling.
How did the coffee show its love? It said, "Words cannot espresso how much you bean to me."
I don’t know who became more famous, Sir Francis Bacon or his son
Chris P. Bacon
What is the name of the onion ring that cannot but be funny? It is a Funyon!
What was the event of the onion family getting back together called as? A family reonion.
What was the cheese’s strategy when it ran for president?
Make America grate again.
What does the ginger bread man put on his bed? A cookie sheet.
What do you get when you throw lettuce into the ocean?
I don't know lettuce sea.
How do you make Ohio State University cookies? Put them in a big Bowl and beat for 3 hours.
Did you know that bread that you make into buns is always relaxed? Yes, they just like to roll with it.
Why did the wine connoisseur insist on drinking from an old tire?
He heard it was a Goodyear!
What kind of wine do they serve at the horse races?
Chardon-neigh!
What did one maggot say to the other who was stuck in an apple? Worm your way out of that one, then!
What kind of birthday cake do they serve in heaven?
Angel food cake.
Why’d the lettuce blush?
It saw the salad dressing.
What did the cherry say when it was given a bunch of flowers? You are cherry sweet.
My friend was totally addicted to the cold meat section in our local supermarket. It got so bad, they had to quit cold turkey.
Someone told me I looked like a salt shaker. I took it as a condiment.
What did one bread lover say to the other?
Before I break down and rye, I want you to know that I loaf you.
When soup feels strained and stressed, where would it go? – A broth-el!
Why did the coffee file a police report?
Because it was mugged.
All the peanuts decided to start a social nutwork where they would all link up for a common good and even advocate for their rights.
If fish is a type of brain food, then dumb people probably love eating noodle soup.
What do you get when you drink milk
A moostache
If you eat too many cherries, you can sometimes end up with digestive issues. It really is the pits.
Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake? Because it's too hard to put them on the bottom!
What do you call a barking pumpkin?
A gourd dog.
When you come across oranges wearing suntan lotion, don’t judge them harshly. They do so in order not to peel.
Why did the pig kill the farmer? To save his own bacon.
Why did the cherry go to the good drinks factory? It was cordially invited.