Q: Why did the orange cross the road?
A: Because everyone thought he was a chicken.
What do you call chick peas in a cavern?
Humus Sapiens
Why does a little cherry always look up to its parents? It tries to follow in their fruitsteps.
What did the peanut say to the cashew after their argument?
Imma cashew outside!
Q: Where do fruits like to go on vacations?
A: To the peach.
Soft fruit is not always the best at doing research. They aren’t very thorough; they tend to cherry pick information.
What do you call someone who’s crazy about corn?
A corn-ivore!
What is a monkey's favorite cookie? Chocolate chimp!
Why did the man put the cake in the freezer?
Because his wife told him to ice it!
What happened when rockers couldn't get their favorite dessert? Rage against the Broken Ice Cream Machine.
Apparently there's a fruit that is naturally radioactive.
I think that's bananas!
Is it bad to swallow a cherry whole? No don't worry, it's just one of the pitfalls of life.
Challah if you see me in the streets. Will do.
Did you hear about the banana who went to the doctor's because he wasn't peeling very well?
What do get when you cross a chili pepper, steam shovel, and a Chihuahua? Hot, diggety dog.
What is the wealthiest nut ever?
“A cashooo.”
What do you call a pig that practices karate? A pork chop!”
Did you hear the one about the pecan, the walnut, and the cashew?
It was nut funny.
What did bacon say to tomato? Lettuce get together.
What do you call seasoned and dried robot meat?
Beep chirpy
Lemonade and iced tea make an Arnold Palmer. What do you get when you Mix Lemonade with a tea bag?
Benedict Arnold Palmer
What do you get when you cross a goblin and cheese? Muenster cheese.
What's a vampire's most favorite fruit? It must be a neck-tarine peach.
What do you drink if you want to freshen your breath? Mint-Tea.
What's in a honeymoon salad?
Lettuce alone
What would a pineapple say to a pineapple pie? You have some crust.
What do you call the onions which are small and yellow and very naughty? You call it a minonion!
When potato chips don’t sell fast enough, the maker knows it will soon be crunch time.
What do you call a communist onion? You call it a red onion.
How is ice cream as a girlfriend?
The sweetest.
The sweet potato asked the other potato : “How are my eyes? ”
I fed my wife some ground chick peas and she choked to death
The police are treating it as a hummuside.
Why was Tony Soprano fat? Cause he thought getting a slice of the pie was a piece of cake.
Why is cherry pie so legendary? Because it is history in the baking.
My wife hates it when I mess with her red wine. I added fruit and orange juice, and now she sangria than ever!
Did you hear? The pilgrims rode the May-Flour so that they could bake bread as they went to America. This is a cute option.
I've been feeling really down recently so I thought I'd cheer myself up by making a nice cheese and pickle sandwich.
But when I picked up the pickle jar, it said "reject if depressed", so now I'm off to take an overdose.
Why did the hot dog turn down a chance to star in a major motion picture? None of the rolls (roles) were good enough.
What is the only time you start at the red and stop at the green?
“When you eat a watermelon!”
My decision to become a Hindu was a missed steak
So I was cleaning my spice cabinet...
and now I have a lot of thyme on my hands!
What do u get from a perverted apple? Hard Cider.
What is the best way to cook alligator meat? With a croc pot!
At a meeting, Mr. Tomato asked Mr. Peach, "Can you give me the peach cobbler's number, I need to mend my shoes".
Q: How do two cherries make up after an argument?
A: They cherry the hatchet.
Tonight my wife was making dinner and she was using some fresh peas. She dropped some on the floor.
My 4 year old said “mummy, you’ve pee’d on the floor”
Needless to say I was in stitches.
What is ice cream’s favorite TV show?
Game of Cones.
Some types of meat like to play around a lot. These are generally the game types.
Some cherry puns are just pit-i-ful.
What kind of potato do you want to take home to your parents? A sweet potato.