My son's asked for a strange Christmas present this year. It's really cheap though so I don't mind.
I'm not sure why he wants an eggs box though.
What do you call a fruit riding a motorcycle?
“An Orange County Chopper.”
What became of the pig who got fired from his job? He became canned ham.
A lemon says to an orange, “What are you up to?”
The orange replies, “Not much. Just hanging ‘round.”
What is a vampire who loves eating strawberry jam called? A jampire.
Corn mazes should be renamed Maize mazes.
What is yellow on the inside and green on the outside? A banana dressed up as a cucumber !
What did the oreo cookie say to his filling? You’re my butter half.
What's a hen's favorite shipping company?
Federal Egg-spress.
I don’t know who became more famous, Sir Francis Bacon or his son
Chris P. Bacon
Recently in a meeting at the greengrocer I work at, I asked my manager how he was doing. "Just peachy", he replied.
Do you know why bread hates warm weather? It just makes things too toasty.
What's a coffee's favorite spell? Espresso Patronum.
I saw an egg behaving oddly today.
It was probably just a bit egg-centric.
This guy walks into the doctor's office with a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear.
You’re the tater to my tot. I miss you a lot!
Wine Lovers Rhyme: A friend of wine is a friend of mine!
What do you get when you throw lettuce into the ocean?
I don't know lettuce sea.
Never tell a taco a secret
It will spill the beans
What’s a potato’s favorite TV program? Starch Trek.
Did you hear about the cow that committed murder? It was in cow-ld blood! How dairy.
What did the corn farmer give to his therapist?
An ear full.
What did the expired milk say after being picked up way past its due date? It was well beyond their wildest creams.
What’s fat, hairy and drinks a lot of coffee?
Java the Hut!
Did you know that bread that you make into buns is always relaxed? Yes, they just like to roll with it.
What did the pastry chef say to his unsupportive father?
“Donut hole me back.”
I saw a sign earlier that said, "Free Range Eggs."
I've never heard of Range Eggs before but at least they were free so I took some.
Today, I am eating a bun filled with pineapple and ham for my dinner. That is Hawaii roll.
Why did Mrs. Wine Grape run away from home?
She was tired of raisin a family.
Why did the man put the cake in the freezer?
Because his wife told him to ice it!
Why are they called tacos?
They don’t say much.
What did the Catholic Nectarine Priest say to the church? Peach be with you. It was a normal thing to hear from the pul-pit.
What’s another name for a chess-nut? A nut who loves chess.
What’s the best thing to put in a donut?
Your teeth.
Patient: Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake." Doctor: Next time, take off the candles.
Everyone makes fun of him for using old coffee, but he insists it has the greatest sedimental value.
There are actually two types of apple: pine – apple and bad – apple.
How long does it take to brew Chinese tea? Oolong time.
Soup is only musical when it is piping hot.
What do you call a hobbit who has bad breath? He is known as Lord of Onion Rings!
You better watch out before you play a game with any bread? Baguette ready to lose.
We failed to find the dog's bone because the owner berried it.
When you finish the lemons that life gives you;
Sublime.
The manager at the bread store told the baker that he had to stop loafing around. The baker said that it was his job.
What happened to the football team that practiced in a corn field?
They got creamed!
Why could I not imagine to have milk in the afternoon? Because it was beyond my wildest creams.
What do you call a Boston creme donut that’s a straight-A student?
The creme of the crop.
I once saw an onion that had been preserved for ages. It was an Egyptian onion.
Why did the principal bring Clam Chowder to school? For the Soup-erintendent.
After I show a peach the way, it says: “I really ap-peach-iate your help!”