What do you call a cute donut?
A-dough-able.
One day on the highway, I saw a packet of onions and cheese walking down the road. When I offered them a lift, they declined by saying that they were 'Walkers'.
What is a cannibal's favourite cheese? Limburger
Q: What made the green pea turn red?
A: It saw the salad dressing.
What’s a potatoes favorite horror movie? The Silence of the Yams.
The peach couple is in love. They seem to be born for peach other.
It's Taco Night, so on my way home, I grabbed a bag of shredded cheese at the store, queso we needed some more.
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The butcher’s life was at steak when the meat market caught fire.
Why did the blonde stare at the carton of orange juice? It said concentrate.
What kind of a key opens a banana? A monkey!
What do you call a beautiful pumpkin?
Gourdgeous.
How did Reese eat her soup? Witherspoon.
I was sitting in the toilet at Taco Bell and it reminded me of my divorce.
It was extremely messy and involved a lot of paperwork.
A berry from which you can directly drink out of is a straw-berry.
Why did the kid keep falling off his bike? It had a banana seat.
Did you hear about the love affair between sugar and cream?
It was icing on the cake.
What did the nut say when it caught on fire? Roast-nuts, almond fire!
Why did the farmer decide not to buy an extra phone? It was because he already had one for onion rings.
What do you call an overly cautious cup of tea?
Uncertaintea.
When shouldn't you believe a word your cheese is saying? When it's too Gouda to be true.
What do cannibals eat for dessert?
Chocolate covered aunts.
Why does bread looks so bad in photographs?
It’s just too grainy.
Why did the wine connoisseur insist on drinking from an old tire?
He heard it was a Goodyear!
Q: Why wouldn’t the teacher bring the class to the green pea farm?
A: It was in a seedy part of town.
Fruit puns intended
Does he avacado? Because If not you should let that mango.
What did the Soup Nazi say to the canine? What Soup Dawg.
A major produce organization is reeling after multiple reports of tainted lettuce.
We may soon witness the falling of the Romaine Empire.
What did the Mexican heavy metal guitarist say to his bandmates?
“Rock out with your guac out.”
Why would an oreo cookie need to visit a dentist? To get a filling replacement.
What do you call two cookies from the same cookie sheet who fall in love? A batch made in heaven.
I didn’t have a map of the corn maze, so I had to play it by ear.
When you see something red that goes up and down, chances are it is a strawberry in an elevator.
When does a hot dog have a close shave? At the barber-cue!
My friend thought ketchup didn’t exist
So I told him to check his sauces.
If you are wondering about the fuzziest character in the gaming world, well it is definitely Princess Peach.
What do you call two watermelons that are not allowed to get married? A couple of can’t- elopes.
What happens if you swallow a whole corn cob?
You get corn-stipated!
When you mix a salt and water, you get a solution. When you mix a salt and battery, what do you get?
Arrested.
I always get pickle and chutney mixed up.
It makes me chuckle.
Why did the clock in the donut shop run slow?
It always went back four seconds
What did one cheese tell the other cheese on Valentine’s day?
Brie mine.
Don’t ask me why I love wine. I have my rieslings.
What's the most popular American cheese sitcom? Curd Your Enthusiasm
Did you hear the one about the apathetic vegetable?
It didn't carrot all.
Don’t hang around booze hounds. They’re wine-y bitches.
Which hand should we use to stir the soup? It is better to stir the soup with a spoon!
The police have been interrogating the walnut for several mi-nuts now. It’s a tough nut to crack!
What do you call a hobbit who has bad breath? He is known as Lord of Onion Rings!
Why is peanut butter a bad secret keeper? Because it tends to spread it and not keep it.
Potatoes have skin. I have skin. Ergo, I am a potato
What do you get when you dip a kitten in chocolate?
A Kitty Kat bar.