You can fix a broken strawberry with a strawberry patch.
Why doesn’t the squirrel accept cash or credit at his store? Because it only accepts cash.
My friend thought ketchup didn’t exist
So I told him to check his sauces.
What do cheese makers dance to on halloween? The muenster mash!
What do you call a cute donut?
A-dough-able.
Be careful what you say in a corn maze. The walls have ears.
On which website will you learn about the hidden gossips and secrets of the onion world? On the website Wiki-Leeks.
A fruit was madly in love, it was peachy–keen.
What kind of keys does a kid skeleton use on Halloween? Cook-keys.
what does a female corn do when she likes a male corn?
she corn-fesses.
Every girl is just like a pineapple: They both have many pointy defences, but they are still sweet and adorable.
Did you hear the one about the apathetic vegetable?
It didn't carrot all.
How do berries start off the fruity olympics? They cherry the Olympic torch around the globe.
When strawberries, blueberries or blackberries meet another berry they like and want to get married who do they go see?
The marionberry
What were the cheese’s wedding vows?
To havarti and to hold.
What do you call someone who chokes on their tea?
A cough-y drinker.
Did you hear about the corn stalk that changed careers?
He went into a different field!
If you can't beat them...
Just have your eggs fried.
How do you know if you’ve had enough coffee?
You channel surf faster without the remote.
Why couldn’t the donut reach enlightenment? Because it was already holy.
Cherries go all out when they go to festivals. You’ll probably see loads of them, running around in pie-dyed shirts.
You had to use rennet to curdle the milk for making Ricotta, not lemon juice!
This is not the right whey.
What do you call two banana skins? A pair of slippers
Where can you find the best nuts in London? Nut-tinghill.
What did the expired milk say after being picked up way past its due date? It was well beyond their wildest creams.
What did the blind man say after being handed a cheese grater? "That's the most violent book I've ever read."
In a romantic date, Romeo says to Juliette “Baby! You are the pineapple of my eyes!”
What did the coffee say about its late assignment? Better latte than never.
What do squirrels eat at the fair?
A-corn dog.
Cows love music. In fact, they even have a favourite note: beef flat.
Which Star Wars character was the orange cast for?
Emperor Pulpatine.
What do teapots wear to a tea party? A T-shirt.
Me: I think I'll take a dip in the pool.
Lifeguard: What ya got there?
Me: Hummus.
What’s a potatoes favorite horror movie? The Silence of the Yams.
If tomatoes are a fruit
Then ketchup is a smoothie.
How do hot dogs greet each other? They say “give me some skin!”
I saw a road sign the other day that said "Dip In Road"
I turned the corner and drove straight into a load of hummus
What can you make with 6.02 x 10^23 avocados?
Guaca-mole.
I didn’t know you could vape a chocolate bar until my wife told me to stop inhaling them.
Sometimes a pea starts acting like a diva. We call them a pea-Madonna.
What did the fruit bowl say when it saw Santa Claus come down the chimney? We wish you a cherry Christmas!
Why is green ice cream so serendipitous?
It was mint to be.
An angry fruit yells at traffic in front of them
“Mango!”
What's the difference between a Yankee Stadium hot dog and a Fenway Park hot dog? You can buy a Yankee Stadium hot dog in October.
I really like corn, but I can't find it because this time of year it's never in stalk
What did the peanut say right before taking an exam? “I walnut fail!”
Did you hear about the audio drama about peas?
It’s a pod-cast
I invited a turkey over for dinner. He was very late for dinner – when I asked him about it, he said he was busy getting dressed.
What is ice cream’s preferred breed of dog?
Dashchundae.
Did you hear about the crime family that took over the wine importing business?
They call themselves the Sip-ranos!