The United Nations gave its members a basket of peaches on 21 September - the International Peach Day.
Maturity is typically most rapid in a low latitude, where women and pineapples most do thrive.
Fish taco says why don't you want to taco about it And the nacho says cause I'm nacho friend.
Beer doesn't make you fat
It makes you lean.
What did the peanut say right before taking an exam? “I walnut fail!”
Q: What’s a nectarine?
A: A peach with balding problems.
How does a hen leave its house?
Through the eggs-it.
Did you hear about the lemons that got sick?
They got lime disease.
How do little avocados get what they want?
They spread it on thick.
Is beef soup good for our health? Not if you are the cow.
My neighbor said a man walked into my garden and stole my mangoes.
I am wondering where did that mango.
What do cherries write in love letters? I miss you cherry-bly.
What do you call two watermelons that are not allowed to get married? A couple of can’t- elopes.
Why does the Pope love Swiss cheese so much?
It’s hole-y.
What’s the most disgusting type of nut?
The cash-ew.
What did the hot dog bun say to the hot dog? Stop touching my buns! What do you call a hot dog with nothing inside it? A "hollow-weenie!"
A strawberry's favorite celebrity is Mary Berry.
What kind of cake do you get at a cafeteria?
A stomach-cake!
When you cross an orange and a bunny, you will end up with a pip squeak.
What drink brings you down to earth? Gravi-Tea.
What's red and has 7 dents in it?
Snow white's cherry!
How does a robot eat it’s guacamole?
Microchips.
A skeleton walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a beer and a mop.
What sandwich spread makes people itch?
Flea-nut butter.
You can only know the heart of a pineapple with a knife.
It’s not often that you find an eye anywhere but on the face. Cows, however, have a rib eye.”
What's a coffee's favorite spell? Espresso Patronum.
I know a pea that's a famous singer. He's a VIP.
On Father's Day my family went strawberry picking. Later on, we decided to make a jam...
...from the fruits of our labor
What can a whole orange do that half an orange can never do?
“Look round!”
How do the New England Patriots eat their soup? In a Super Bowl.
Breakfasts with my family always feel like a party because they're always making toasts.
Did you hear about the guy who put little G.I. Joe soldiers at the bottom of his coffee cup?
He’d heard that the best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup!
I never count my chickens before they're hatched.
Because they're eggs.
What has 100 teeth and eats wieners? A zipper!
"Scone be a lot of fun. Wheat love for you to join us."
Why will the fruits beat the vegetables?
They have a better punch!
What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven? Angel food cake, of course!
A storefront that boasts a fruit pun, just peachy.
A sad peach can be really pit-iful, sometimes.
What is a corn's favorite song?
Corn fields forever.
Where do bugs go to watch the big game? Apple-Bees.
What's the motto of vegetables? Don't worry, pea happy.
What’s the best thing about being a butcher? You get to meat the best people.
I think therefore I yam.
What did the cornfield say when it heard rain coming?
That’s music to my ears!
Why did the pumpkin pie go to a dentist?
Because it needed a filling.
"I need to re-wine my life."
I must confess that I've started stealing vegetables from the local grocery...
I can't help it! I get to the store and I have to take a leek!
What do you call a vegetable planted at a whore house?
A brothel sprout.