When you push a strawberry down a hill, you make a strawberry turnover.
Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I'm OK, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.
Why did the birthday cake go to the doctor?
Because it was feeling crumby!
People say nothing rhymes with orange. It seems very strange to me.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky!
Our daughter eats her corn one kernel at a time.
She's a unicorn.
What do you call a cow with no legs at all? Ground beef
Keep calm and carrot on.
What do you call a chicken staring at a salad?
Chicken sees a salad.
How are a car and a bicycle similar?
“You can’t make watermelon juice out of either of them.”
Before I ducked out to the shops, my wife asked me to put ketchup on the shipping list.
Now I can't read it.
What do you call a pickle that got run over on the road?
Road dill.
Why did the hot dog turn down a chance to star in a major motion picture? None of the rolls (roles) were good enough.
Why did the Jack-O-Lantern go to the pumpkin patch?
Because he had holes in him.
What do French cherry parents say to their little cherries at home? You are mon cherry.
How do monsters like their eggs?
Terri-fried.
What did the cheese say after escaping the mouse? I'm Brieeee!
Things don’t always pine out the way we want them to, but we can-nut give up!
Why could I not imagine to have milk in the afternoon? Because it was beyond my wildest creams.
My business that sells strawberry juice has gone into liquidation
How did the vineyard launch the new champagne making business?
They crashed a small boat into it.
Why’d the lettuce blush?
It saw the salad dressing.
What do you call people avoiding healthy fats?
Avocadonts.
Why did the croissants take the donuts and bagels to Disneyland?
They thought it would be fun for the hole family.
What did the hummus say to the pita bread when he got sick?
I falafel.
Have you heard of the garlic diet? You don't lose much weight, but from a distance your friends think you look thinner!
Why did the burglar break into the bakery?
Because he heard the cakes were rich.
What do you call a nut with facial hair?
A mustachio.
What happened when a clumsy sommelier tried to decant a bottle of fine wine?
Things went pour-ably wrong.
Why did Oreo go to the dentist? …
Because he lost his filling!
What did the pickle say when he was told he was going in to a salad?
I relish the thought.
What do teapots wear to a tea party? A T-shirt.
Me and my sister used to be like peas in a pod, but recently she's become too snap-pea.
What covers the floor of the motzarella forest?
Cheese sticks.
Dad, do you like baked apples? Yes son, why? The orchard's on fire.
Why is the baby strawberry crying?
Because its parents are jamming
Everyday for lunch I like to eat two pears, and my dad knows this.
One day I saw him dropping two pears into a bunch of brown paper bags.
“What are you doing?” I asked him.
“Preparing.”
The daddy strawberry got the job to perform at the circus because he was a berry straw-ng man.
I thought about making a new condiment that was a mixture of Ketchup and Mustard.
But then I decided the name KetchTard would be pretty MustUp.
What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven? Angel food cake, of course!
What’s the opposite of Himalayan salt?
Herastandin pepper.
I loved the soup that they served at the local restaurant yesterday. It was simply pho-nomenol.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef!
What do you call two banana skins? A pair of slippers
When my friend Frank died, his body was cremated and his ashes were placed in a decorative German beer tankard.
Now he's Frank in stein.
What do you call a nut who loves the game of chess?
A chess-nut.
Why are candles lit on top of birthday cakes?
It’s impossible to light them on the bottom
Why was the coffee-shop worker fired? He kept showing up in a Tea-shirt.
Strawberries are considered to be the most bullied fruits because they're always getting picked on.
What’s the most disgusting type of nut?
The cash-ew.