What does a pizza say when it wants to cuddle?
Fold me close.
Knock, knock
Who’s there? CIA CIA, who? CI ate your last doughnut!
How many French eggs do you need?
One egg is un oeuf.
What did Einstein say when someone tried to steal his beer?
Nein! Mine Stein!
Which mammal absolutely loves Merlot and Cabernet?
The Wineoceros.
What did the farmer yell out when ducks invaded his dairy farm? Cheese and crackers!
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock Who’s there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn’t say banana?
Why did the lemon like the orange? He’s not from concentrate.
One day a apple saw a banana without its peel. The apple asked banana, where is your peel? He replied, people are always taking off my clothes.
What kind of eggs does a confused chicken lay?
Scrambled eggs.
What do we call the period in between eating a peach? – It is called a pit stop.
Have you guys tried kangaroo beer?
It’s a little hoppy.
In life, the rule of thumb is, don’t bite more than you can chew unless it is chocolate.
I felt like telling you the joke about a strawberry jam on a piece of bread, but I won't. You might go around spreading it.
What's the difference between Hummus and Humus?
"mmmm"
My Dad told me why Busch is the only brand of beer he ever drinks.
"It's the only beer that says it's name when you open it."
To catch a polar bear you surround a hole in the ice with peas
Then, when he goes to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole.
What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort.
Chuck berry was undoubtedly the greatest rock and roll strawberry.
Man wins award after he died eating appetizers at a Mediterranean restaurant
It was a Post-Hummus award.
Hello my name is lettuce, and I was going to the grocery store...
Ah, I’m getting ahead of myself
What do you say happened to an onion who got what it deserved? You say it got karma-lized.
A strawberry's favorite place to visit is Jam-aica.
What is John Lennon's favorite donut? Strawberry' Filled Forever.'
Why did the baker quit making donuts?
Because he was fed up with the hole business!
What is a hair stylist's favorite steak? A flat iron!
What's the difference between French fries and orange juice?
You can make orange juice out of orange, but not French fries out of French
I told my kids that ketchup can go on anything.
You know, It’s the least condiment denominator.
If my Hindu girlfriend thinks I'm going to eat Indian food, she has another think cumin.
That wide loaf has a decent bread-th. Nice.
How did the cheese get such curly hair?
It got a permasan.
How do astronauts eat their ice cream? In floats!
What do you call a house that likes food? a Condoment!
How do you make an apple puff? Chase it round the garden.
"Oh, sweet child of wine."
Why did Bill's friend get covered in beer?
Because William Shakes Beer.
What do you call a communist vegetable
a soviet onion.
How do you know the French Onion is Canadian?
Because the oignon est!
"I need to re-wine my life."
Egg-Plant a kiss on me.
Onions are unable to store water inside them because there is always a leek.
Mum, you are my soup-er star.
Why do cherry trees smell?
Because George Washington cut one.
Party Host: Would you like to try some mulled wine?
Party Guest: I'll have to think it over...
How does an ice cream cone congratulate you on the anniversary of your birth?
It’s sherbert day!
I always tend to forget the french word for strawberry sometimes. But, then I eventually remember the fraise.
What kind of cheese protects a castle?
Moat-zarella.
What happened when the beer got divorced?
It became bitter.
How did Reese eat her soup? Witherspoon.
Why didn't the watermelon marry the strawberry?
They cantaloupe.