Did you hear what happened with the sourdough bread? It really rose to the occasion today.
My friend Jack claims that he can communicate with vegetables.
Jack and the beans talk.
I lost one pea from my plate at dinner the other day. It was an escape-pea.
What do butchers say after they meet someone new? “Mince to meat you.”
Why did the crazy man lose his job at the dairy factory? He was a danger to himself and udders.
I felt like telling you the joke about a strawberry jam on a piece of bread, but I won't. You might go around spreading it.
Why do potatoes make good detectives? Because they keep their eyes peeled.
What eats nuts and bolts?
A squirrel that’s running late.
Q: What do you call a scary berry?
A: A boo-berry.
Somehow they knew I wanted champagne. It was chilling.
Knock knock!
Who’s there? Doughnut. Doughnut Who? Doughnut forget to close the door!
Soup is only musical when it is piping hot.
Why is the pickle container always open?
Because it's ajar.
What is suns favourite chocolate bar?
A milky way
I hope for world peas.
What did the pineapple say to the pineapple chunk? Stay golden.
What does a cheese say when you ask him to share a secret?
He cantal.
What happens if a cashew falls down your shirt?
It becomes a chestnut.
A strawberry screamed at the other, "Were it not that ripe, we wouldn't have ended up in this jam."
What do you call a very tall cherry blossom tree in Italy? The leaning flower of Pisa.
Why did the man put the cake in the freezer? Because his wife told him to ice it!
What do you call a pickle doctor?
A dill pusher.
What do you call a cow that has 1 leg? Steak
What does a birthday cake and a baseball team have in common?
They both need good batters.
What did the nut say to his girlfriend at the pine-ic? “I am nuts about you, cashew see!”
On Father's Day my family went strawberry picking. Later on, we decided to make a jam...
...from the fruits of our labor
How do playful monkeys go down the stairs?
They slide down the banana-ster!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Butter.
Butter who?
I butter nut tell you.
Why didn't the watermelon marry the strawberry?
They cantaloupe.
Why did the croissants take the donuts and bagels to Disneyland?
They thought it would be fun for the hole family.
Q: Which basketball players eat fruits?
A: The ones who like to cherry pick.
Why did the strawberry get bruised? Because it was under pear pressure.
Did you hear about the cheese shop that was destroyed by a tornado?
All that’s left is da brie.
What do you call an island populated entirely by cupcakes?
Desserted
A strawberry feels most comfortable in its py-jam-as.
The pancake thought he was the best breakfast food because nobody stacked up to him.
Do you know why does your mother often shave a peach when cooking? Because she only needs nectarines for the recipe.
What's a vampire's favorite fruit?
A neck-tarine.
What does a priest put on his salad?
Lettuce spray.
Hap-pea-ness is when you and your friend are like two peas in a pod.
I didn’t have a map of the corn maze, so I had to play it by ear.
How are a car and a bicycle similar?
“You can’t make watermelon juice out of either of them.”
What did Snow White call her chicken?
Egg White.
What did four of the last five presidents drink? Left-Tea.
What is yellow on the inside and green on the outside? A banana dressed up as a cucumber !
I dressed up as bacon for halloween.
To say the least, i was looking pretty CRISP.
When you push a strawberry down a hill, you make a strawberry turnover.
What do you call a depressed vegetable
Despairagus.
What fruit loves chocolate?
A cocoa nut.
What do you get if you cross a pumpkin with a bigfoot?
A Sasquash.