A magnetic strawberry is always red and points north.
Thanks to you, I’m saddled with unnecessary peelings.
I need to take this picture for my instayam
What do you get when you cross an orange with a parrot? A carrot.
What is a monkey's favorite cookie? Chocolate chimp!
Q: What kind of desserts does a turkey like?
A: Peach gobbler.
My favorite fruit is the pear.
Because if you have two and you eat one, you still have a pear left.
What is yellow on the inside and green on the outside? A banana dressed up as a cucumber !
What lives in apples and is an avid reader? A bookworm !
Have you seen that film about the onion that turns into a spider?
It's called Shallot's Web
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky.
I'm on a seafood diet. Every time I see food, I eat it.
Why is it harder for Orange Juice to slide across a floor than apple juice?
Pulp Friction.
Did you hear about the man who stole thousands of dollars worth of rare tea?
He went to prison for Oolong time.
What do you call a cake that likes heavy metal? Megadeth by Chocolate.
Why do ice cream cones make such good journalists?
They always get a scoop.
What is a cow's favorite deli meat? Bull-ogna!
What did man say to the guacamole?
Avocado crush on you.
What is the hippest kind of fruit? A bae-nae-nae.
What did the father cantaloupe say to his son?
“Watermelon! (Water-my-lawn)”
What did the burger meat say to the BBQ? “Is it meat you’re looking for?”
Q: Did you hear about the cherry that liked to explode?
A: It was da’ bomb.
Tennis matches and strawberry jam have one thing in common. Cons-serve.
What did the orange say before he started his new job?
“The zest is yet to come!”
What were the cheese’s wedding vows?
To havarti and to hold.
Why do potatoes make good detectives? Because they keep their eyes peeled.
You’re the tater to my tot. I miss you a lot!
Can I have your last avocado?
Avocadon’t you dare.
How did the hotdog ask the ketchup out?
He mustard up the courage.
If mom leaves her alphabet soup on the stove and forgets about it, it would spell disaster.
What do you call a communist onion? You call it a red onion.
How did the cheese get such curly hair?
It got a permasan.
Why did the cantaloupe jump into the pool?
“It wanted to be a watermelon.”
Why don’t oranges go around blind?
“Because they take Vitamin See!”
Did you get a side of hummus?
It's a hummuside.
How do you kill a salad? You go for the carrot-id artery.
I'm not too fond of not finishing my entire bowl of cereal. I think I have irritable bowl syndrome.
Why do milking stools only have three legs? The cows keep the udder safe.
Why does it take a while before a peach leaves a fruit basket? They have to give a goodbye peach first.
I do some of my best thinking over coffee. I tend to have a latte on my mind.
Shucking takes lots of corn-centration.
What’s an apple’s favorite movie? Mr and Mr Smith.
What's a woman and a tea bag got in common?
You don't know strong they are till you put them in hot water.
What did the salt shaker say to the graint of salt? Why you INSALT MEEE.
What is the greeting that Korean onions tell each other when they meet in the streets? They say 'Onion-Haseyo'.
What did mutter say to paneer? Tu cheese badi hai mast mast.
What did the mama nut say to her son?
“If I ever cashew doing that, I walnut be happy.”
When soup feels strained and stressed, where would it go? – A broth-el!
"Sip happens."
What did the judge say at the finale of the meat throwing competition? The steaks have never been higher!