What do you call a fat kid who likes chocolate milk?
An OvalTeen
What cheese should you use to hide a horse? Mascarpone.
What is a vampire's favorite fruit?
A blood orange.
Did you hear that they're trying to convict an orange?
It got wrapped up in appeal.
There are two types of people in this world: People who love chocolate and liars. A study says that chocolate may lower your chances of a stroke. That is, a swimming stroke, a golf stroke, a tennis stroke.
I got some salt in my eye
Now it’s sea salt.
Why did the wheel act so bossy? Cause he was the "Big Cheese."
I saw a real rob-bbery today. It happened right before my berry eyes.
What kind of tea do wealthy people own?
Proper-Tea.
What did Mrs. Pea say to his wife after she refused to listen to her? "I don't care, just do as you peas."
What do you call a potato that smokes weed? A baked potato.
What do you call a musical lime?
John Lemon.
Why do bacon lettuce and tomatoes have the lowest IQ out of all the foods?
Because they're in-bred.
I’m a wrapper, so I get a lot of dough. A bread wrapper, that is.
We all know that monkeys of all species love bananas, however, there is one family that doesn’t really fancy them, the orang-utans.
Hello my name is lettuce, and I was going to the grocery store...
Ah, I’m getting ahead of myself
I don’t know who became more famous, Sir Francis Bacon or his son
Chris P. Bacon
What do they call Chris Christie in New Jersey? Cake Boss.
Why did the donut go to the dentist? It needed a filling!"
What do you say to a small onion that has helped you?
Thanks shallot.
I’m chocolate to my appointment!
"Partners in wine."
What did the egg say to the clown?
You crack me up.
My dad tried to put peas into an orange once. It didn't appeal to me.
Why do the French eat snails? They dislike fast food.
Have you heard about the pig who killed his own farmer? He did it to save his bacon.
I am really broth-taking when I see the signer vomiting soup.
“My bowl of soup must be cracked as it is all wet down here”. “Well, I guess it is because your soup has a leek in it.
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
What did mamma orange say to little orange after he spilled his milk? It’s no big peel!
What is a scarecrow’s favorite fruit?
Strawberries.
What’s the best thing to put in a donut?
Your teeth.
A cable TV installer walks into a bar and orders a beer.
The bartender says, "You'll be served sometime between 7am and 2pm."
It is a great idea to ask peaches to make your shoes. After all, they make excellent cobblers.
How are a car and a bicycle similar?
“You can’t make watermelon juice out of either of them.”
In North Korea, you can not throw fruits in the snow as they don't have the right to freeze peach
On Father's Day my family went strawberry picking. Later on, we decided to make a jam...
...from the fruits of our labor
What did bacon say to tomato? Lettuce get together.
Why was the burger sad? Because he had the blue cheese.
What nut is always begging for attention?
Pssst-tachios.
Why did the giant use clouds to make pancakes?
To make them light and fluffy.
What fruit loves chocolate?
A cocoa nut.
I just finished the Mona Lisa made from vegetables. It's a masterpeas.
Why did the man put the cake in the freezer? Because his wife told him to ice it!
My brother gave me whole milk, but I can only have nut milk with my cereal. How dairy!
“Spring, salad, shallot, picked”, said a friend. He knows his onions.
What do they say when you leave the cheese store?
Have a gouda day!
Do not eat that alphabet soup, or you will have a vowel movement.
Q: Why are cherries never lonely?
A: Because they hang around in bunches.
What does it do before it rains candy? It sprinkles! What do you call dancing chocolate bar? Nestle Crunk bar.