Udon even know how to cook this udon recipe. Fortunately, I can teach you.
Tonight my wife was making dinner and she was using some fresh peas. She dropped some on the floor.
My 4 year old said “mummy, you’ve pee’d on the floor”
Needless to say I was in stitches.
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a bowl of ice cream by its diameter? Pi a'la mode.
What did the orange say when a knife pierced it’s peel? Flesh wound.
Did you hear about the pea pod that became damaged?
It had to wear a pod cast.
Why did the banana go to see the doctor? The banana was not peeling very well.
I've just invented a new Canadian beer
It's a form of I.P.Eh
Saw a great offer on cheese in Tesco today!
It was buy one get one brie.
Why did the man put the cake in the freezer? Because his wife told him to ice it!
What did the Cheese salesman say? That cheese may be Gouda, but this one is Feta!
If you bake an oatmeal raisin cookie at a temperature of 666 degrees, what do you call it? Raisin hell!
The guilty conscience of stealing and consuming a whole peach is getting to me. I feel like there's a pit in my gut.
What did the pea dad say after a tiring day at work? "I'm desperate for some peas of mind."
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
If you leave alphabet soup on the stove and leave, it could spell disaster.
What do donuts wear to weddings? Tuxe-doughs!
When you find a blue strawberry, try to cheer it up.
Why did the man lose his job in a fruit packing firm? He kept throwing the bent bananas away.
My friend is always trying to make cows nervous. She's a fan of milkshakes.
What should you drink before you workout? Sweat-Tea.
During the summer break, I enrolled myself in a peach coding course.
When is a pumpkin not a pumpkin? When you drop it; then it's squash!
What do you call an everyday potato? A commentater!
Back in the early 2010s, the peach children loved to flock around to listen to Peach Pit.
Why did the thief steal a pig? Because he was a hamburglar.
Everything in this world is either a potato or not a potato
What is the only time you start at the red and stop at the green?
“When you eat a watermelon!”
What does a meditating egg say?
Ohmmmmmmmlet.
What did the egg say to the clown?
You crack me up.
If fish is a type of brain food, then dumb people probably love eating noodle soup.
What do you call a watermelon that spends all day at the beauty spa? Must be a hottermmelon.
The easiest way to know that you are eating a bowl of rabbit soup is to take a look inside and find a hare in it.
What did the lovesick pig sing to his girlfriend? Don't go bacon my heart!
This corn is a little rough to the touch. Looks like a job for Kernel Sanders.
Did you hear about the ice cream that went to prison?
They got their just desserts.
A lettuce farm was busted by the FDA on suspicion of combining plant and human DNA to create a new protein hybrid.
When they dug up the grounds the found human romaines.
Why do donuts make terrible teachers?
They’re always glazing over the important stuff.
In the history class, the onion teachers taught the student onions that during the vegetable cold war, the Soviet Onion was a superpower.
This Halloween I'm gourd out of my mind!
What's yellow and always points to the north? A magnetic banana.
What am I? A tea bag you dirty minded human...
At a meeting, Mr. Tomato asked Mr. Peach, "Can you give me the peach cobbler's number, I need to mend my shoes".
Why did the birthday cake go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crumby!
Why did the blonde buy a brown cow? To get chocolate milk.
If you are what you eat, does that mean all squirrels are nuts?
I met him yesterday, he was on his way to meet the counselor for a peach therapy session.
Why couldn’t the donut reach enlightenment? Because it was already holy.
A strawberry usually gets stuck often when it gets jammed.
Why do ice cream cones make such bad athletes?
They always get licked.
Have you heard about the chocolate box thief? He’s always got a few Twix up his sleeve.