How does a potato win at Street Fighter? By mashing the kick button.
I saw a real rob-bbery today. It happened right before my berry eyes.
Where do eggs go on holiday?
New Yolk.
Why is Mrs Mayo mad at Mr Ketchup?
She caught him watching the salad dressing again.
How is ice cream as a girlfriend?
The sweetest.
What do magician avocados say?
Avocadabra!
What’s a potato’s least favorite dance? The Mash Potato.
What makes the soup of a dragon so delicious is the addition of firecrackers.
What do you call a cold little taco?
A brrr-ito.
Where can you find the best nuts in London? Nut-tinghill.
What type of relationships do hotdogs like to have? A frank relationship, they can’t stand lies.
What pizza do dogs eat?
Puperoni.
Did you see the movie about the hot dog? It was an Oscar Wiener
The innocent blueberry got easily framed for the crime because the evidence was a strawberry plant.
Dog Joke: What do you call a Collie with a mango on it's back?
Mango Lassie.
Where do squirrels go for fun?
The acorn-ival.
I heard that my neighbor, who loved dried fruit, has passed away. May his soul rest in peach.
What do you say if someone steps on a banana peel? Well I guess he didn't find that appealing!
What do you call an evil lemon?
Sour On
What do you call a depressed vegetable
Despairagus.
What’s a donut’s favorite lullaby?
“Sprinkle, Sprinkle Little Star.”
I do some of my best thinking over coffee. I tend to have a latte on my mind.
A carrot went to a football game.
Wonder who it was rooting for.
The Japanese restaurant serves the best soups. It will always make miso happy.
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution.
What do fruit bowls say when they dress up as a ghost on Halloween? Be cherry afraid!
If you are wondering about a peach's favorite video game, well it's definitely 'Super Princess Peach'.
What do you call a cow in a rooster costume? Roost beef.
What's the hardest tea to swallow?
Reality.
Where do vegetables keep their money?
In the credit onion.
What do you call a fat kid who likes chocolate milk?
An OvalTeen
Have you heard the new song from the band that entirely consists of vegetables?
It’s a master peas.
What do you call corn that joins the army?
Kernel.
Taco Bell overcooked my food
I asked for a brrrr-ito and an en-chill-ata.
Sheep have a clever way of keeping all their four feet warm in the winter; they wear muttons.
What do you tell your friend after she breaks up with a cheese lover?
You’re cheddar off without him!
Know what kind of cookies rich people love? Fortune cookies.
Why was the pizzeria desperate for business?
Because they kneaded the dough!
What Christmas carol do candy bars sing? Almond Joy To The World.
When you want to propose to a person who loves strawberries, just say, "I love you berry much."
What did the cake say to the fork? you want a piece of me?
Pumpkin Spice and Everything Nice
If anyone gets a suspicious email from me about canned meat, don’t open it. It’s spam!
What did the tortilla chip say to the guacamole?
“You are all I avo wanted.”
What type of person doesn’t like pizza?
A weir-dough.
He apologized for driving the orange to the edge of the blade
What did the lemon juice say to the baking soda?
Ya basic!
What did the doughnut say to the pizza?
If I had as much dough as you, I wouldn’t be hanging around this hole.
What do you tell a cheese going through a hard time?
Ricotta get through this.
Why was the chef surprised that anyone like her bread?
She thought it was crumby.