One strawberry said to the other, “Were it not that you were so sweet, you wouldn’t have ended up in this jam.”
Why did the lemon fail its driving test?
Because it kept peeling out
Why was the potato put in an asylum? It was starch raving mad.
Boy: Oh I can't believe that Jesus is so sweet! Girl: Well that's because He's a life saver!
A Blueberry asked a strawberry to go to hell.
That was berry rude of him
If you are wondering about a peach's favorite video game, well it's definitely 'Super Princess Peach'.
What does an ice cream lawyer say?
You got served.
Did you see the award-winning movie about a hot dog? It was an Oscar wiener!
How does the Skywalker family like their tea?
Lukewarm.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
Why did the banana go to the hairdressers? Because it had split ends!
Did you hear about the farmer who sold his sheep to slaughter because he wasn't making enough money from the wool? The situation went from baa-d to wurst!
What do they do when the fruit educator is sick? They bring in a substitute peacher.
What do we call a scientist who specializes in pineapples? He might be called a pineappleologist!
One day a apple saw a banana without its peel. The apple asked banana, where is your peel? He replied, people are always taking off my clothes.
If you put ice cream on the nutty brownie, you’re serving it ala-mond.
What would you call someone who cheats others while selling milk? A skim artist.
Cherries are actually great at a lot of different sports. Their favorite one, in case you were wondering, is archerry.
Which Star Wars character was the orange cast for?
Emperor Pulpatine.
I had a meal recently that was made with ketchup and mustard.
It was delicious! My condiments to the chef!
I saw a joke about chocolate bars but it wasn’t that funny So I just snickered.
Why did the cookie monster rob the keebler elves? Because they had a lot of dough.
National Herbs and Spices Day is celebrated annually on June 10.
Why do watermelons take such a long time to make decisions?
“They’re always melon it over.”
What was the pumpkin's favorite sport?
Squash.
What is a terrorist's preferred kind of wine?
White Infidel.
What do you call a baby potato? Small fry.
A peach biologist was looking for a peach-tree-dish for his upcoming experiment.
No one understands me when i say I like to paint peas in a cage.
I don’t what is so hard about it. I’m a trapped peas artist.
Where’s a donut’s favorite vacation spot?
The Sahara dessert!
Why do basketball players love cookies? Because they can dunk them!
In the history class, the onion teachers taught the student onions that during the vegetable cold war, the Soviet Onion was a superpower.
I sent my cows to bed at 8pm last night. I told them 'it's pasteur bedtime'.
What do baristas say to their least-favorite customers? You mocha me crazy.
Why shouldn't you be too inquisitive with a cherry? Ask no questions tell no pies.
Why did the orange get insurance?
Zest in case.
They say that the local baker is the breadwinner of his family. True enough.
Why is pumpkin pie so much better than sweet potato pie?
Sweet potatoes are ungourdly.
What do you call a mislabeled orange juice container?
Pulp fiction.
What did the two onions who were lovers say to each other before being separated? "Our love will forever go-nion on!"
A strawberry's favorite celebrity is Mary Berry.
What do oranges have after a hard work out? Juice!
What do you call 2000 pounds of Chinese soup? Won Ton.
Why didn't the kids eat their soup? Because they're stew peed.
Why have a mer little when you can have a merlot?
What happened after the conifer fell in love at the orchard? A pineapple tree.
Many people have puns, but they will nut tella you.
I told the cowboy to eat salad with his fingers
He said he needed a ranch hand.
Why does Elton John HATE lettuce?
Becuase he's a ROCKET MAN...
Me: I think I'll take a dip in the pool.
Lifeguard: What ya got there?
Me: Hummus.