While breaking up with Princess Peach, Mario said "You are so peachy, I can't take it anymore".
What do you call a banana who gets all the girls?
A banana smoothie.
Why did no one drink the youngest milk? Its parents spoiled it.
"Here for the right riesling."
What is the most sophisticated class of bread?
The upper crust.
Did you hear the one about the apathetic vegetable?
It didn't carrot all.
That cola syrup is made by squeezing a kola nut.
That was soda pressing.
What did the pineapple say to the pineapple chunk? Stay golden.
An apple and an orange signed up for a tournament. No one was really surprised when they had both were seeded.
What do you call a Vegetarian with diarrhea? A Salad Shooter.
What do get when you cross a chili pepper, steam shovel, and a Chihuahua? Hot, diggety dog.
Who answers the door at the peanut mansion?
The peanut butler.
Why did the blonde buy a brown cow? To get chocolate milk.
Join us and let’s make pizza cheese grate again.
If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, what does an onion do? Keeps everyone away.
Mom: *Struggling to make a decision between 1% or 2%.
Dad: Milk up your mind!
What do you call the king of vegetables? Elvis Parsley.
What did one cheese tell the other cheese on Valentine’s day?
Brie mine.
Why did the fruit bat eat the orange?
“Because it had appeal.”
What do you call a hobbit who has bad breath? He is known as Lord of Onion Rings!
"You focaccia bag, crumb back and get it."
The bread did not believe that he could work at his job much longer. He was feeling too crusty.
What do you call a very little cherry? Pit-iful.
Why did the students eat their homework? Because the teacher said that it was a piece of cake.
Some types of meat like to play around a lot. These are generally the game types.
Back in the early 2010s, the peach children loved to flock around to listen to Peach Pit.
What is the chemical formula of the molecules in sweets? Carbon-holmium-cobalt-lanthanum-tellurium or CHoCoLaTe
What did the kid nut say to the other when playing tag? “I’m going to cashew”.
My town always holds a contest to see which beer drinker's belly is biggest by seeing how far it goes past a line...
That's the paunch-line.
Q: Where do fruits manufacture their money?
A: Peach Mint.
What vegetable is kind of cool?
The Radish.
On which website will you learn about the hidden gossips and secrets of the onion world? On the website Wiki-Leeks.
Do you know what the common thing between a pineapple and a king is? Both of them wear a crown proudly on their top.
What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort
What do you call a potato that has turned to the dark side? Vader tots!
What kind of tea does Billy like?
Ability.
What did the insulted orange say to the kiwi? Ex-squeeze-me?
Why is the chef so mean?
He beats the eggs.
We all know that monkeys of all species love bananas, however, there is one family that doesn’t really fancy them, the orang-utans.
What do you get when an Elephant sits on an Orange?
Orange squash.
Why did the police arrest the milk after it was poured into a bowl of Fruit Loops? They witnessed him drown them. They knew he must be a cereal killer!
Whats the name of the movie about Bacon? Frankenswine, or you can go see Hamlet.
When do bakers stop making donuts?
When they get tired of the hole thing.
Somehow they knew I wanted champagne. It was chilling.
The watermelon plant didn’t like sharing a garden with passion vines; but they started to grow on him.
What do you get when you put Cola in an oven?
Baking soda.
A strawberry screamed at the other, "Were it not that ripe, we wouldn't have ended up in this jam."
Where do eggs go on holiday?
New Yolk.
Which fruity singer was a judge on 'The X Factor'? Cherry Cole.
Why did the clock in the donut shop run slow?
It always went back four seconds