How do you say “four avocados” in Spanish?
Um, avo-cuatro?
What is a corn's favorite song?
Corn fields forever.
Someone asked me recently why I don't put any ketchup or mustard on my hotdog
And I told them it's because I just wanna relish it.
What did the perverted pumpkin use for his pick-up line?
Hey gourd-geous! Wanna go back to my place and squash?
Which actor is now being quarantined for Swine Flu? Kevin Bacon
What do you call an onion who wants to go on romantic dates in Paris? A French onion.
Did you hear about the new watermelon powered cars set to come out next year? Yeah, it’s too bad you only get a water-melon the gallon.
A man walks into a bar with a fried egg on his head.
The bartender asks, "Why have you got a fried egg on your head?"
The man replies, "Because boiled eggs fall off."
What did the corn say when it was being followed?
“I’m being stalked!”
When can a pizza marry a hot dog? After a very frank relationship.
What did the pepperoni say to the cook?
You wanna pizza me?
What is Tom Hanks' favourite soft cheese? Philadelphia.
Why are they called tacos?
They don’t say much.
I had a salad pun, but I tossed it
An immature pineapple is often worse than a mature currant.
Donut even think about taking another donut!
When I told my friend an onion pun, he started crying. I asked whether they were tears of happiness?
What’s the best thing to put in a donut?
Your teeth.
What do you get when you cross Elon Musk and lobster bisque? A souped up car.
Why did a can of nuts win the part in the Christmas pageant? Because they were the best nut-tavity actors.
He says to the doctor, "Help me Doc, what's the matter with me?"
The doctor replies, "That's easy. You're not eating properly."
What is the similarity between a superhero and an onion? They both have layers.
If you want to ask someone to borrow their peas, you have to say pea-lease.
When an unripe strawberry saw the ripe strawberry, it went green with envy.
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock Who’s there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn’t say banana?
Why did the coffee bean keep checking his watch? Because he was pressed for time.
Milk aliens have landed. They said 'take me to your litre'.
Everyday for lunch I like to eat two pears, and my dad knows this.
One day I saw him dropping two pears into a bunch of brown paper bags.
“What are you doing?” I asked him.
“Preparing.”
How did Burger King get Dairy Queen Pregnant? He forgot to wrap his whopper!
What does a dragon eat with his soup? Firecrackers.
Why was the bread actor so unhappy?
She lost out on a juicy roll.
Who does the nectarine just do a hair transplant? Because it wants to become a peach.
Vampires love cookies too, they love No-stake cookies.
Why are bananas never lonely?
Because they hang around in bunches.
I asked the Korean grocer for something to spice up my meals, but I think I got a raw dill.
Why did the citrus fruit join the military?
“Because it was a navel orange.”
What kind of cookies do vulcans love? Spockolate chips.
I used to hate peas. I like them now, I just make sure I think of them as 'o's.'
American cherries generally do pretty well at high school. Many of them end up on the cherryleading squad.
What did the boy say when his mom made him prepare the corn for supper?
This shucks!
What do oranges like to listen to?
Musical com-peel-ations.
What happened to the lost beef shipment? Nobody's herd.
Where do you smart hot dogs go?… On the honor role.
Having pineapple on a pizza is quite like going down on a cousin: It might taste good, but something is not right.
What did the parmesan say when it broke up with the mozzarella?
Sorry but I am too mature for you.
What’s a milk’s favorite fruit? Cow-conuts.
Q: Why did the pea sell his car?
A: The back seat didn’t have enough legume.
What is an elf's favorite kind of birthday cake? Shortcake!
Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I'm OK, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.
What do oranges have after a hard work out? Juice!