Why did the baker quit making donuts?
Because he was fed up with the hole business!
If you want to ask someone to borrow their peas, you have to say pea-lease.
Q: What do you call a scary berry?
A: A boo-berry.
How can you tell the difference between a monster and a banana? Try picking it up. If you can't, it's either a monster or a giant banana.
What do fruits do when they are avoiding a problem? They cherry their heads in the sand.
My son just tried to tell me a joke about pumpkins.
Oh, gourd, was it awful.
I was caught smuggling a taco into the new star wars movie...
...they now call me Rogue Juan
What do dogs like to drink? Kit-Tea.
When I was younger, I once smashed up a nest of heron's eggs.
No egrets.
Did you hear about the secret guild of bakers? They say that they only trade recipes on a knead to know basis.
What do we call a scientist who specializes in pineapples? He might be called a pineappleologist!
What kind of pizza do you order on Christmas?
Cheeses Crust.
The cold broth is known to have lived in Stock-holm.
Why didn’t the pecan go to the ballet?
It was afraid of the nutcracker.
He is a humble husband. Unlike others, he never blows his crumpet after making breakfast for his wife everyday.
I tried buying a car from a religious person and got a lemon!
I suppose you get what you prayed for..
A burglar broke into my house and took all my condiments, now I'm Spiceless in Seattle.
So I asked Satan if he had any milk I could drink...
He told me "No whey in Hell!"
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a cow? Roost beef!
Who is the most powerful potato? Darth Tater.
What kind of keys does a kid skeleton use on Halloween? Cook-keys.
What do oranges like to listen to?
Musical com-peel-ations.
What did the piece of Cheddar say to the ghost? I'm Lac-ghost intolerant
The cookie monster couldn’t make his bed, why? Because he couldn’t find his cookie sheets.
Strawberries are only made in the strawberry plant.
A strawberry's favorite celebrity is Mary Berry.
My friend wanted me to take care of his extremely fragile pumpkin.
I told him I'd gourd it with my life.
You knead me in your loaf. This one kind of works, but loaf is just a little too different from life.
What do you call a pumpkin that can slam dunk a basketball?
Michael Gourdan.
"My day just went from super to sip-erb, real quick."
Did you hear about the pick-up artist who only ever wears green leaves on his head? Yeah, he’s definitely a pineapple smoothie.
Why did the orange fall out of the tree?
It went out on a limb.
And what should every barista say to their customers? Have a brew-tiful day.
How sweet is only for girls?
Her-shey’s kisses.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you going to open the door.
Where do you smart hot dogs go?… On the honor role.
When you want to propose to a person who loves strawberries, just say, "I love you berry much."
Why are you eating a banana with the skin on? Oh, it's all right. I know what's inside.
What is the chemical formula of the molecules in sweets? Carbon-holmium-cobalt-lanthanum-tellurium or CHoCoLaTe
Have you ever seen the episode of VeggieTales directed by Tarantino?
It’s called Mango Unchained.
What’s the difference between a Starbucks latte and a whore?
Nothing, they both suck and empty your wallet!
Why isn’t there an organization like Chocoholics Anonymous?
Because nobody wants to quit.
The oranges hadn’t been peeling well for a week when they finally decided to seek medical attention.
What kind of cheese do alcoholics eat?
Livarot.
Where does a pineapple and cucumber vacation? Somewhere tropical (tro-pickle).
Why do Jack-o-lanterns have silly smiles on their faces? You'd have a silly smile, too, if you had just had all your brains scooped out!
What do you call a nut on a Wheelchair?
“A busted nut.”
Why don’t cows drink artificial milk? It’s too pow-dairy.
How do the New England Patriots eat their soup? In a Super Bowl.
How do the Vietnamese like their soup? Purrrrrfect.