In a world that is full of apples, it is much better to be a pineapple.
Why doesn't cheddar like to party with crackers? Someone always cuts the cheese.
I thought I'd have some evaporated milk on my pudding. But when I opened it, it was empty.
People who use sleeping bags in the woods are soft tacos for bears.
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Taking a bite and finding half a worm.
Did you hear what happened to the girl who twisted her ankle in the cow’s pen? She was milking her injury!
What type of wine is notorious for making you drowsy?
Sauvign-yawn blanc!
What's green and swims in the sea?
Moby Pickle.
What is ice cream’s favorite TV show?
Game of Cones.
What do you do when your partner drinks your coffee? I don't know, but that's certainly grounds for divorce.
What do you call a pickle doctor?
A dill pusher.
That cola syrup is made by squeezing a kola nut.
That was soda pressing.
What if someone made raisins with juice in them
That would be grape.
"Darling, shall we buy some vegetables for tonight?"
"Yes, lettuce!"
My wife asked me why I bought a pear tree.
I told her "what, you told me to grow a pear."
Why did the corn farmer go to jail?
He was stalking someone in a field.
What do you get when you play Tug-of-War with a pig? Pulled-Pork
What kind of candy makes fun of you? Tootsie Trolls.
It’s too bad that bread puns are always so crumby. Mmm . . . crumbs.
Are you a vegan?
'Cause I yam.
What do you call a cake that likes heavy metal? Megadeth by Chocolate.
I was gonna make a joke about Mediterranean food...
But hummus have missed the mark, and now I falafel.
I like European food so I decided to Russia over there because I was Hungary. After Czech'ing the menu I ordered Turkey. When I was Finnished I told the waiter 'Spain good but there is Norway I could eat another bite'.
What do you call young avocados?
Avokiddos.
Why did the butcher work overtime at the grocery store? To make ends meat!
What's a vampire's favorite fruit?
A neck-tarine.
If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, what does an onion do? Keeps everyone away.
Where do eggs go on holiday?
New Yolk.
Why does the Pope love Swiss cheese so much?
It’s hole-y.
I’ve got a great idea for an automatic orange peeling machine I hope it bares fruit.
What do you say if someone steps on a banana peel? Well I guess he didn't find that appealing!
Why did the orange fall out of the tree?
It went out on a limb.
What did the mom cheese tell the little boy cheese when he got hurt on his bike?
“Gotta take the gouda with the bad.”
Why do bananas wear suntan lotion? Because they peel!
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I’m not old. I’m aged to perfection. And full bodied.
Italians are so good at making coffee because they naturally like to espresso themselves.
“My bowl of soup must be cracked as it is all wet down here”. “Well, I guess it is because your soup has a leek in it.
Why were the kids throwing flour and bread at their school? They wanted to rise to the occasion.
just bought 5 slabs of San miguel, 10 sombreros and 25 tacos,
I'm Hispanic buying
How do you get the most apples at Halloween? Take a snorkel.
What do you call juice with no ice in it?
Ju.
I think I drank some expired milk. I just have a gut feeling.
What was the main job of the bread truck? To haul buns.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Ice cream!
Ice cream who?
Ice cream if you throw me in the cold, cold water!
What do you call a fat pumpkin?
A plumpkin!
Those people are preparing peach gelato because they want to demonstrate their rights to freeze peach!
Fruit puns intended
Does he avacado? Because If not you should let that mango.
What is ice cream’s preferred breed of dog?
Dashchundae.
The nut said it was very pine-ful when its’ shell cracked.
What do fruits do when they are avoiding a problem? They cherry their heads in the sand.