When Berry the dog dug up the woman's strawberry patch, she angrily exclaimed "That is the final straw, Berry."
Which actor is now being quarantined for Swine Flu? Kevin Bacon
Why does everyone want ice cream to be on their team?
Because with them, anything is popsicle.
Why do bananas have to wear sunscreen?
Because they peel.
Why did the one legged clown leave the cheese circus? Because he couldn't get his stilton.
I just watched someone try to steal a pumpkin from a bull.
He got gourd.
What do you get when you play Tug-of-War with a pig? Pulled-Pork
What do you call a baker with a cold?
Coughee cake.
Today, I am eating a bun filled with pineapple and ham for my dinner. That is Hawaii roll.
What do you call a potato wearing glasses? A spec-tater!
The young loaf of bread ended up getting fired from his job because he kept loafing around. Poor guy.
I cut a dill with this spicy mami, but at the last minute she ginger mind.
I don’t want naan of that. Neither do I!
Sir, did you realize the consequences of naming your son Taco Cheese?
"No, but I have grate expectations."
What should you do if you see a blue banana?
Try and cheer it up.
How does the Cheese Detective choose his clients?
On a queso by queso basis.
Why did the orange go to the doctor?
“It wasn’t peeling well.”
A burglar broke into my house and took all my condiments, now I'm Spiceless in Seattle.
What is a donut’s favorite day of the week?
Fry-day.
"Rosé all day."
I asked the pianist if he could play the Chick Pea Song.
He said, "Maybe. Can you hummus a few bars?'
Why was the peanut butter upset at his retirement party?
He was roasted.
Is tea with additional salt
Salt-tea?
Have you heard the new song from the band that entirely consists of vegetables?
It’s a master peas.
What do all the onions decide to do over unfair wages? They decide to form a labor onion.
They were building a meat tower next door.
The steaks just kept getting higher.
Q: What kind of decisions do peaches make?
A: Fruitful ones.
When you see something red that goes up and down, chances are it is a strawberry in an elevator.
At a get-together, one fruit asked another "I was wondering how have you been". The other replied "Just peachy, isn't that grape?"
Dad Ordered Taco Bell
Asked how many Dillas come in their Ques 'a Dillas
What do you call cheese that is acting crazy? A basket queso.
When an unripe strawberry saw the ripe strawberry, it went green with envy.
"Hakuna Moscato. It means drink wine."
What do you call a pickle you got at a cheap price?
A sweet dill.
When I took a break from having soup, my mom said "Carry on, why did you stoup?"
What does a birthday cake and a baseball team have in common?
They both need good batters.
What do you see at a funeral for a piece of fruit? Apple-bearer.
What do you call an avocado after a priest blesses it?
Holy guacamole.
The easiest way to know that you are eating a bowl of rabbit soup is to take a look inside and find a hare in it.
I recently got a new job as a golf caddy, but I was fired after less than an hour.
The guy asked me for a sand wedge. I don't think he likes pickle.
How does Bob Marley like his donuts?
Wi’ jam in.
My father is a farmer who grows strawberries. However, his business has recently gone into liquidation after he made smoothies.
Why did the orange go out with a prune? He couldn’t find a date.
What do you find when you swallow peas whole?
Inner peas
What kind of party is held in a cornfield?
A cornball!
I am a peach, and when my husband accompanies me, we are a pear.
What do you call Chewbacca with chocolate stuck in its fur?
chocolate chip wookiee.
What would you call a steak that leaped off the table and ran away? Fast food, of course.
Why did I start making a cherry pie? Bake-cause I love it.
Did you hear about the guy who overdosed on curry powder? He went into a korma.