Apparently there's a fruit that is naturally radioactive.
I think that's bananas!
What’s yellow and swings from cake to cake?
Tarzipan.
What’s a pizza maker’s favorite song?
Slice, Slice Baby
Peas excuse how bad this pun is.
“I only like lemons,”
Said Michael zestfully.
A lorry load of pears has crashed on the motorway. It’s caused a huge jam.
Why did the orange turn into orange juice?
It couldn’t handle the pressure.
how do you convince meat juice out of a bovine?
You consomme out of him.
What did the grilled cheese sandwich say to their date?
“You make me melt.”
Whenever I’m in France I always start the day with a bowl of mushrooms...
Breakfast of champinions
How does the Cheese Detective choose his clients?
On a queso by queso basis.
Why did the lemon fail its driving test?
Because it kept peeling out
The United Nations gave its members a basket of peaches on 21 September - the International Peach Day.
What is the best way to stop a pizza curling?
Hide its brush.
What do you call a dog with a fever? A hot dog.
What do you call a punctual citrus fruit?
A Clockwork Orange.
Did you hear about the scientist that studied nectarines? He won the Nobel Peach Prize.
What happened when one friend forgot to brew her pal a coffee? Their friendship came to a bitter end.
Who were the first cheese lovers ever?
Edam and Eve.
The best thing ever to put in a strawberry pie is your teeth.
You say "easy peasy lemon squeezy"
... but I prefer "depressed stressed lemon zest."
Q: What do you call a really violent fruit?
A: A peach breaker
Q: Who is Peach’s favorite actor?
A: Brad Pit.
"I'd like to make a toast!", said the bread to the bride on her wedding day.
What do the ducks have for dinner? They have Quackers and soup.
Why did the dairy farmer go on a diet? She wanted to cheddar a few pounds!
What did one maggot say to the other who was stuck in an apple? Worm your way out of that one, then!
What is a cheese lover’s favorite Village People song?
Nacho Man.
The peach started acting all funny because it was really fuzzy.
Have you heard about the new meat that’s taking the world by storm? It’s a cross between a cow and a chicken. They call it “roost beef”.
ALDI grocery stores have announced their new store brand peanuts.
ALDI’s nuts.
Happy Hour is at wine o’ clock
What do you call a Boston creme donut that’s a straight-A student?
The creme of the crop.
The soup that my mom made for dinner healed my flu in a day. It was almost soup-er natural.
A Blueberry asked a strawberry to go to hell.
That was berry rude of him
In life, the rule of thumb is, don’t bite more than you can chew unless it is chocolate.
I like my wine sweet and my humor dry.
What covers the floor of the motzarella forest?
Cheese sticks.
What does a duck that’s made of avocado say?
Guac.
Whats green and smells like bacon? Kermit the Frog's finger! Why do we cook bacon and bake cookies?
How are a car and a bicycle similar?
“You can’t make watermelon juice out of either of them.”
"What did the toaster say to the slice of bread?" "I want you inside me!"
The veggie lover was a total stalk-er.
What did the judge say at the finale of the meat throwing competition? The steaks have never been higher!
What is the favorite punk band of onions? It is a band known as "Good Shallot"!
A friend asked what an acorn is. I said, “In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.”
Why do milking stools only have three legs? The cows keep the udder safe.
How do you describe an onion which is in its early stages after birth? You say it is in its onion-ic period of its life.
I was sitting in the toilet at Taco Bell and it reminded me of my divorce.
It was extremely messy and involved a lot of paperwork.
My business that sells strawberry juice has gone into liquidation