Why did the Iron Chef have to stop cooking? He ran out of Thyme.
Do you know which the most favourite type of fruit of trees is? The pine – apple.
What do you call a bacon wrapped dinosaur? Jurrasic Pork.
What do you call a strong pumpkin?
A Jacked-o-Lantern.
Did you hear about the lemons that got sick?
They got lime disease.
What if someone made raisins with juice in them
That would be grape.
What do you call a fruity pop star? Katy Peary.
How does a cheese tell you they want to be with you?
“I think you and I would look gouda together.”
What's the motto of vegetables? Don't worry, pea happy.
The best punishment to give orange kids is getting them canned. This is the only way to prevent them from going bad.
Peaches tend to be really mean. After all, they have hearts of stone.
Why does everyone invite ice cream to the party?
It’s cool.
Lots of peas work as spies. Espea-onage is very common.
You have two cows, but only milk one. Your friend asks you…
"What about the udder one?"
I’m zesting a lemon for a recipe right now
It’s really appealing
At the bar mitzvah ceremony, the Jewish onion greeted his uncle by saying 'Shallot'.
Wine Connoisser Point to Ponder: Did Marilyn drink Merlot?
What do you call someone who’s crazy about corn?
A corn-ivore!
Who answers the door at the peanut mansion?
The peanut butler.
What competition do nuts participate in?
The peanut butter cup.
Why did the cookie cry? Because his mother was a wafer so long! Why do we cook bacon and bake cookies?
What do you call an avocado after a priest blesses it?
Holy guacamole.
When is a birthday cake like a golf ball? When it's been sliced.
There was an announcement on the news the other day, we've finally achieved world peas.
I was going to tell you a joke about an egg but it's not all it's cracked up to be.
Why did the farmer decide not to buy an extra phone? It was because he already had one for onion rings.
What did mamma orange say to little orange after he spilled his milk? It’s no big peel!
What do you call it when vegetables have siblings?
Pumpkin.
I always wondered why the watermelon loving librarian never touched any of the books; turns out she’d red them all.
What do you call 2 fruits that can't get married?
Cantelopes.
What is suns favourite chocolate bar?
A milky way
Why do Jack-o-lanterns have silly smiles on their faces? You'd have a silly smile, too, if you had just had all your brains scooped out!
I have to spill my guts, I love Halloween!
What do you call a potato that has turned to the dark side? Vader tots!
The local baker keeps punching his doughy friend because he wants to get a rise out of him.
What did the nut husband tell his wife? “Nut-ing lasts forever, except my love for you!”
Did you hear about the love affair between sugar and cream? It was icing on the cake.
A man likes sending random stuff to his friends through the mail because he finds it funny.
This particular time the man takes some lettuce to the post office to ship to a friend from back home.
He tries to package it up but it won't fit unless he cuts it into smaller peices. He cuts it up and stuffs it in a large envelope, however he forgets to write out and attach a shipping label. He doesn't realize his mistake at the time and brings it to the counter to send.
The postal workers says: "You can't send a salad like that, it needs adressing".
I gave my toddler peas for the first time. He wasn't very hap-pea.
I don't like cutting up a peach. I think it's because of the pits.
Why do girls scouts sell cookies? They wanna make a sweet first impression.
When would an apple be not an apple? When it is a pineapple!
Q: What is a peach’s favorite book?
A: War and Peach
The other day I asked an Alaskan guy if he wanted to eat some seal meat.
He wasn’t really inuit
What do you call a Boston creme donut that’s a straight-A student?
The creme of the crop.
How many tacos can an octopus eat?
Ten tacos.
What’s the best view you can get in our galaxy? A view of the milky way from mars.
How does a pineapple answer the phone? “Yel-low?”
What do you call a cow that has 1 leg? Steak
What is green and brown and crawls through the grass? A Girl Scout who has lost her cookie.