Why couldn't the teddy bear finish his dessert? Cause he was stuffed.
Why are watermelons, such good entrepreneurs?
“They always have seed money.”
What do you call a magician nut?
“An individual who is able to turn into a nut.”
Whenever I give my daughter cherries, she stuffs them in the chair
Now we call them chairries
What did mamma orange say to little orange after he spilled his milk? It’s no big peel!
If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, what does an onion do? Keeps everyone away.
Q: What’s red and invisible?
A: No cherries.
I replaced the milk in the carton with lemon juice. Everyone was really sour about it.
What cut of meat do you get from an extremely tired butcher?
A filet mid-yawn
How did the hotdog overcome his fear of ketchup? He mustered up the courage.
My friends and I are in search of some fresh vegetables puns.
Please lettuce know if you find any.
How do monkeys get down the stairs? They slide down the banana-ster!
When soup feels strained and stressed, where would it go? – A broth-el!
What did the burger meat say to the BBQ? “Is it meat you’re looking for?”
The soup was busy and preoccupied. He was stewing over something his friend said.
Why do watermelons have fancy weddings? Because they cantaloupe.
Have you ever tried pineapple milk? Do you know where it comes from? Obviously from the pine – nipples!
Bananas, for breakfast, are such an a-peeling choice.
I yam what I yam.
Where do vegetables keep their money?
In the credit onion.
Do you know how to get a raise at the bread factory? Try buttering up to the boss.
I found my son sleeping in a pile of peas. May he rest in peas.
What do you call a pastry that is a priest? A Holy Donut!
"Read between the wines."
What do you get when you cross a human and a pear?
A pear-son.
What do you call a group of men waiting for a haircut? A barbercue.
What does a surprised pumpkin say?
OH MY GOURD!
When can a pizza marry a hot dog? After a very frank relationship.
We are thinking of spending the night at the peach house, by the shore.
I really like corn, but I can't find it because this time of year it's never in stalk
Which is the most religious cheese? Swiss, because it is holy.
What do they say when you leave the cheese store?
Have a gouda day!
Why do people love juicy pineapple? Because it “ripens” their day.
The doctor advised I tried a milk bath. I asked if it needs to be pasteurized. No, just above the knees she replied.
What did the coffee say about its late assignment? Better latte than never.
Donut even think about taking another donut!
What’s a balanced diet like?
A slice of cake in each hand!
What do you call a chicken staring at lettuce?
Chicken sees a salad.
I met a girl that owned three french-fry factories. I was impressed but to her it was just small potatoes.
What rhymes with orange?
No, it doesn’t.
You don't know jack-o-lantern
What is the suckiest fruit?
A strawberry.
You spilled your entire cup of coffee? What's sumatra with you?
What do you call chick peas in a cavern?
Humus Sapiens
A lemon got a job in a vinegar factory last week...
Starting salary was $15 per sour.
What happens to a nervous nut?
It cracks.
What do cannibals eat for dessert?
Chocolate covered aunts.
Too tired, I’m out of aspara-gas.
What's yellow and always points to the north? A magnetic banana.
What did bacon say to tomato? Lettuce get together.