Why did the baker quit making donuts?
Because he was fed up with the hole business!
An organization that citricises its workers cannot get the maximum juice out of them.
Why did the teapot get in trouble? Because he was Naught-Tea.
My favorite fruit is the pear.
Because if you have two and you eat one, you still have a pear left.
What did the Mexican wrestler say after he ate a taco that was too spicy?
“It’s okay, I’ll just guac it off”
I must confess that I've started stealing vegetables from the local grocery...
I can't help it! I get to the store and I have to take a leek!
The bread did not believe that he could work at his job much longer. He was feeling too crusty.
They fired the loaf of bread from her job. They say that she kept breaking down and would rye on the job.
They say that the local baker is the breadwinner of his family. True enough.
The watermelon thief was charged with robbery with violence, but the judge later changed that to a minor felony; or melony as he put it.
What did the expired milk say after being picked up way past its due date? It was well beyond their wildest creams.
If your doctor tells you to go on a low sodium diet, do you take his advise with a grain of salt?
What do you call a baby lion on lettuce?
Cub Salad.
What do you call a cow on the barnyard floor? Ground Beef What do you call a cow with no front legs? Lean Beef
What's slimy cold long and smells like pork? Kermit the frogs finger!
Why did the clock in the donut shop run slow?
It always went back four seconds
What is a popular name for girl peanuts?
Michelle.
Who named their daughter Macadamia?
A couple of nuts.
What is a monkey’s favourite cookie?
Chocolate Chimp!
Fine Wine Pick-Up Line: Hey babe, what are you doing this fall? 'Cause I'd like to make you part of the season's harvest.
What do you call referential cheese?
Feta.
Why did the pumpkin cross the road? It fell off the wagon!
Me and my sister used to be like peas in a pod, but recently she's become too snap-pea.
"Say you'll be wine."
What did the orange say to the lemon?
"'yello!"
Why was the backstroke done by the squirrel?
“The squirrel preferred to maintain his nuts dry.”
What’s the best view you can get in our galaxy? A view of the milky way from mars.
I'm the pun King of Halloween.
Why couldnt the pumpkin have kids?
He had a halloweener.
Are there any funny red wine puns at BabaMail Jokes?
You bet Shiraz there are!
What do you get when you cross a smurf and a cow?
Blue cheese.
"You focaccia bag, crumb back and get it."
Knock Knock.
Who’s there? Donut. Donut who? Donut ask, it’s a secret!
Why don’t cows drink artificial milk? It’s too pow-dairy.
Why do watermelons take such a long time to make decisions?
“They’re always melon it over.”
What does a cheese like to drink after a long day?
Morbier.
When the chef asked me how I would like my soup, I said "I would like minestrone".
The oranges have great eyesight because they always keep their eyes peeled.
Do you know which the most favourite type of fruit of trees is? The pine – apple.
No one laughed at my soup puns. I said "When I crack a soup joke, everyone is soup-posed to laugh".
When she asked me if I like soup, I replied saying "I am crazy pho soups".
The nut stayed c-almond and collected during the earthquake.
What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven?
Angel food cake, of course!
What do you call a womanising chocolate? A cad-bury.
What do you call really scared pasta?
Chicken noodles.
Husband: "These pears a perfect right now."
Me: "Would you say they're 'pear-fect'?"
What do you get when you spill soup on a comic book? Souperman.
What do you call a strong pumpkin?
A Jacked-o-Lantern.
My wife looked at me and said “You think you’re pretty sharp, don’t you?”
What do you call a baker with a cold?
Coughee cake.