What do you say if someone steps on a banana peel? Well I guess he didn't find that appealing!
What do you get from an Alaskan cow ? Ice Cream
What do the peanuts and walnuts have in common? They are both nuts.
My favorite fruit is the pear.
Because if you have two and you eat one, you still have a pear left.
I was making a salad the other day, and I thought I heard a small red vegetable that was a bit like an onion whispering. Must have been a hoarse radish.
Let's pumpkin spice things up a bit
Shucking takes lots of corn-centration.
What did the apple teacher say to her student? Help me orange the chairs please!
How do you know when a cheese is full of himself?
Whatever you say, he’ll say he is feta.
My girlfriend was seasoning the soup. I asked, "What spice is that?", and she replied "Sage".
I said, "Sounds wise".
One strawberry said to the other, “Were it not that you were so sweet, you wouldn’t have ended up in this jam.”
How do you make sweet corn?
You whisper sweet nothings in its ear!
What did the coffees say before their night out? Let's stir up some trouble.
What would you call a steak that leaped off the table and ran away? Fast food, of course.
What do you call it when you walk into a coffee shop and feel like you've been there before? Déja-brew.
Why did the man lose his job in a fruit packing firm? He kept throwing the bent bananas away.
Why couldn’t the orange dance in the talent show without his partner?
Because it takes two to “tang-o.”
Time to celery-brate.
What’s a potato’s favorite TV program? Starch Trek.
What do you call a nut stuck to a wall?
A walnut.
Someone who eats bananas must like them a whole bunch.
If you want to ask someone to borrow their peas, you have to say pea-lease.
What do you say happened to an onion who got what it deserved? You say it got karma-lized.
Why was the burger sad? Because he had the blue cheese.
Why did the orange fall out of the tree?
It went out on a limb.
Why did the banana go out with the prune? Because he couldn't find a date.
What does a man consider a seven-course meal? A hot dog and a six pack of beer.
We’re a perfect mash.
What do you call two pears?
A pair.
Why was the meat packer arrested? For bringing home the bacon.
What do you call a very little cherry? Pit-iful.
If your doctor tells you to go on a low sodium diet, do you take his advise with a grain of salt?
I must confess that I've started stealing vegetables from the local grocery...
I can't help it! I get to the store and I have to take a leek!
What is a cheese’s favorite kind of philosophy?
Epistemology and fetaphysics.
Why did the two slices of bread disappear in the middle of the night? They wanted to e-loaf together.
A cup of coffee is the ideal start to a brew-tiful morning!
What do you call a barking pumpkin?
A gourd dog.
What did the salt say after it was pepper-sprayed?
That's nothing to sneeze at.
What's the motto of vegetables? Don't worry, pea happy.
As two onions were crossing the road, one of them was run over by a car. Upon being rushed to the hospital, the doctor informed the other onion, "I have some news that is going to make you cry!"
Those people are preparing peach gelato because they want to demonstrate their rights to freeze peach!
Why doesn’t the squirrel accept cash or credit at his store? Because it only accepts cash.
The kindergarten kids were taught the alphabet and peach sounds at school.
Despite the pun being so orange-inal, it wasn’t all that funny.
A strawberry usually gets stuck often when it gets jammed.
What’s an apple’s favorite movie? Mr and Mr Smith.
Did you hear about the cheese failed to medal at the olympics? It fell at the final curdle
Why was the sweet potato too shy to ask out the russet potato? Because he was a real spud.
What is John Lennon's favorite donut? Strawberry' Filled Forever.'
Why do gherkins giggle when you touch them?
They're pickle-ish.