What type of keys does the gingerbread man unlock his door with? cook-keys!
Why do sharks swim in salt water?
If they swam in pepper water they would sneeze.
What does it do before it rains candy? It sprinkles! What do you call dancing chocolate bar? Nestle Crunk bar.
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad to see me?
I burnt my Hawaiian pizza.
I should have used aloha temperature.
The easiest way to know that you are eating a bowl of rabbit soup is to take a look inside and find a hare in it.
What did you just call me? Just because we’re Dark Chocolate does not give you the right to call us “Snickers”.That’s OUR word.
Cherries go all out when they go to festivals. You’ll probably see loads of them, running around in pie-dyed shirts.
What did the annoyed peach say to the mango?
Man-go away!
What did the two coffee lovers say on their wedding day? We were meant to bean together.
If you get an email about pork salt and fat, don't open it.
It's Spam.
I put some salt on my mobile. Now it’s a saxaphone.
Why did the man lose his job in a fruit packing firm? He kept throwing the bent bananas away.
What do dogs love to eat for breakfast?
woofles
Taco Bell overcooked my food
I asked for a brrrr-ito and an en-chill-ata.
What did the coffee lover name his son?
Joe, obviously.
What did the salt say when the phosphate asked to bond with it?
"NaCl ater."
The nut stayed c-almond and collected during the earthquake.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite track and field event?
The curdles.
Onions have had a long process in the evolutionary chain. They have evolved into today's onions from onionderthals.
Have a s-mash-ing birthday!
Which nut is worth the most?
A cash-ew.
I found my son sleeping in a pile of peas. May he rest in peas.
How do you catch King Kong? Hang upside down and make a noise like a banana.
How does a robot eat it’s guacamole?
Microchips.
How do berries start off the fruity olympics? They cherry the Olympic torch around the globe.
Who is the most powerful potato? Darth Tater.
I allow myself only one donut per year.
This morning I had 433 B.C., 1731, and 1952.
I thought I'd have some evaporated milk on my pudding. But when I opened it, it was empty.
I found a sour strawberry today. It was berry bad.
Q: How do you make a blueberry?
A: You strangle a pea.
What makes the soup of a dragon so delicious is the addition of firecrackers.
What is the left side of an apple? The part that you don't eat.
What do you call bananas that don't stick up for themselves? A bunch of pansies.
What do you call a fruit that doesn't take s**t from anyone? The top banana.
What did four of the last five presidents drink? Left-Tea.
What do you call corn with red, white and blue kernels?
Americorn.
What did the piece of Cheddar say to the ghost? I'm Lac-ghost intolerant
How did I make the mango tree fit in my flower-pot?
I planted it.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite rap artist?
Feta wap.
Where did the spinach go to have a few drinks? The Salad Bar!
Be careful what you say in a corn maze. The walls have ears.
What is a ghost pirate’s favorite kind of tea?
Boo tea!
Did you hear about the farmer who sold his sheep to slaughter because he wasn't making enough money from the wool? The situation went from baa-d to wurst!
Can I have some of your avocado?
GUAC NO! I give zero guacs! You need to guac off!
Wino Woe: Forgive me, for I have zinned!
The United Nations gave its members a basket of peaches on 21 September - the International Peach Day.
When a man went to the doctor to get rid of the strawberry that was growing out of his head, the doctor told him, "Don't worry. I'll give you some cream for that".
After I show a peach the way, it says: “I really ap-peach-iate your help!”
What did the pizza say when it asked the topping out on a date?
I never sausage a beautiful face.