When the baby onion died just after being born, the doctors classified it as an o-neonatal death.
What do you call a cake that likes heavy metal?
Megadeath by Chocolate.
How did the avocado feel after a day at the gym?
Hard core.
If there was a material made of milk which could store electricity...
...it would be called buttery.
What did you just call me? Just because we’re Dark Chocolate does not give you the right to call us “Snickers”.That’s OUR word.
Did you hear that they're trying to convict an orange?
It got wrapped up in appeal.
You knead me in your loaf.
How does white chocolate turn into dark chocolate?
Turn off the lights.
I seem to have run out of tea...
What a catastrotea.
My friends and I are in search of some fresh vegetables puns.
Please lettuce know if you find any.
What do they call Chris Christie in New Jersey? Cake Boss.
Why do people love juicy pineapple? Because it “ripens” their day.
I almost got a world record for having the most peas up my nose but sadly I blew it.
What do you get when you cross a pickle with an alligator?
A crocodill.
Did you hear what happened when the decorator painted his wife with cheese? He double Gloucester!
Why are oranges the smartest fruit?
Because they are made to concentrate.
Someone asked me recently why I don't put any ketchup or mustard on my hotdog
And I told them it's because I just wanna relish it.
What is the only way one does not have to cry while cutting onions? They simply don't have to form emotional bonds with it.
What happens after you eat an entire gallon of "All Natural" ice cream? You get Breyer's remorse!
"It isn't good to keep things bottled up."
The mama nut told her children to kick off their dirty cashews before stepping into the house.
My father loves eating reams of soup. That is the reason why I think he should be nominated to the Soup – ream – court!
What hotel do cheese lover’s stay in?
The Stilton.
Q: Why does the cherry have a hard time getting along with others?
A: It has crust issues.
What was the Peach's favorite surf band from the 60's? The Peach Boys.
My friend mashed up some cherries on halloween and said they were blood. I was cherry-fied!
What does a lemon pie and my wife have in common?
They both have meringue on them.
This pizza party is the perfect topping to a great summer.
What do you call it when Satan steals your guacamole?
Playing Devil’s Avocado.
What did mamma orange say to little orange after he spilled his milk? It’s no big peel!
I rarely put orange slices in my beer.
Once in a Blue Moon.
How is coffee better than a woman?
It goes down way easier.
What did the farmer say when someone complimented him on his corn harvest?
Aww, shucks!
Everything in this world is either a potato or not a potato
What is the smallest onion known as? It is known as an electronion.
After I show a peach the way, it says: “I really ap-peach-iate your help!”
How can you tell that a blondes been baking chocolate chip cookies? Theres M&M shells all over the floor.
What did the lemon juice say to the baking soda?
Ya basic!
I recently went to a soft fruit party, where all the food was berry based. It was cherrific.
I stopped eating pea soup. I gave it up for lentil.
Why did Eve want to leave the garden of Eden and move to New York ? She fell for the Big Apple !
Why do cherry trees smell?
Because George Washington cut one.
In the 1970s, hippies loved going to a Grateful Dead concert and getting toasted. That’s certainly the truth.
Did you hear what happened to the cheese after its breakup?
It got provolonely.
What is a monkey's favorite cookie? Chocolate chimp!
Did you hear about that show that tests the listening skills of vegetables?
Its tests the ears of its corn-testants.
What did the Mama Hot Dog say to the little frankfurter? Ketch-up! Why did the blonde put a sweater on her hot dog? Because she wanted a chili dog.
Why did the orange come back after it was thrown in the garbage?
It was a boom-orange.
Did you hear about the salad race the other day?
The Lettuce was ahead, but the Tomato was ketchoping up...
Knock Knock.
Who’s there? Donut. Donut who? Donut ask, it’s a secret!