To which tier of fruits and vegetables do onions belong? They belong to the teary.
What do they call Chris Christie in New Jersey? Cake Boss.
What do you call a cherry that is hard as nails? Tough as old fruits.
The doctor advised I tried a milk bath. I asked if it needs to be pasteurized. No, just above the knees she replied.
Inviting cherries over for a drinks party is easy. Simply start your invitation with “You are cordially invited…”
Why did the pig go into the kitchen? He felt like bacon.
Which is the fanciest onion? A cocktail onion.
Too tired, I’m out of aspara-gas.
At a restaurant, the peach said, "Hey, I would like a peach of cake for dessert, thank you!"
Went to a German restaurant. The beer was fine,
But their sausage was the wurst!
They asked how the watermelon farmer felt after winning the lottery; clever bugger said he felt like a melon bucks.
What did the hamburger coach tell his team after they lost the first round? “You have to keep frying, you can’t give up”.
What happened to the zombie that made him visit the doctor? He had a crummy feeling.
Q: What happens to a cherry tree when it grows up?
A: It blossoms
Have you ever tried pineapple milk? Do you know where it comes from? Obviously from the pine – nipples!
“I only like lemons,”
Said Michael zestfully.
You might be startled to see a hamburger working out in your local gym. Don’t worry, they’re just there because they want better buns.
Why did the monkey like the banana? Because it had appeal!
What did the salt shaker say to the graint of salt? Why you INSALT MEEE.
When you push a strawberry down a hill, you make a strawberry turnover.
My brother turned into a vegetable.
I guess now he has fryngers and potatoes.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky!
Why are cherries unassuming? Because they often get made into humble pie.
What happens when you rub two oranges together?
You get Pulp Friction.
Why do the French eat snails? They dislike fast food.
An egg walks into a bar...
And makes a real mess.
What is an elf’s favorite kind of birthday cake?
Shortcake!
Why did the butter keep talking? Because he felt like he was really on a roll.
What do dogs like to drink? Kit-Tea.
What do you call an island populated entirely by cupcakes?
Desserted
What type of keys does the gingerbread man unlock his door with? cook-keys!
Why do sharks swim in salt water?
If they swam in pepper water they would sneeze.
What does it do before it rains candy? It sprinkles! What do you call dancing chocolate bar? Nestle Crunk bar.
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad to see me?
I burnt my Hawaiian pizza.
I should have used aloha temperature.
The easiest way to know that you are eating a bowl of rabbit soup is to take a look inside and find a hare in it.
What did you just call me? Just because we’re Dark Chocolate does not give you the right to call us “Snickers”.That’s OUR word.
Cherries go all out when they go to festivals. You’ll probably see loads of them, running around in pie-dyed shirts.
What did the annoyed peach say to the mango?
Man-go away!
What did the two coffee lovers say on their wedding day? We were meant to bean together.
If you get an email about pork salt and fat, don't open it.
It's Spam.
I put some salt on my mobile. Now it’s a saxaphone.
Why did the man lose his job in a fruit packing firm? He kept throwing the bent bananas away.
What do dogs love to eat for breakfast?
woofles
Taco Bell overcooked my food
I asked for a brrrr-ito and an en-chill-ata.
What did the coffee lover name his son?
Joe, obviously.
What did the salt say when the phosphate asked to bond with it?
"NaCl ater."
The nut stayed c-almond and collected during the earthquake.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite track and field event?
The curdles.
Onions have had a long process in the evolutionary chain. They have evolved into today's onions from onionderthals.