The soup was too spicy to be had by us. It was the borscht soup I had ever had.
What do you get when you use a cookie cutter shaped like a deer? Cookie doe!
Which language do oranges use to speak to each other? Mandarin.
A scarecrow's favorite fruit to eat is straw-berry.
I invited a turkey over for dinner. He was very late for dinner – when I asked him about it, he said he was busy getting dressed.
The reason he went smiling all the way to the jail is because the judge sentenced him to a life behind chocolate bars.
When is a vegetable also a nut?
When it’s a corn!
What do you get when you cross an apple with a Christmas tree? Pineapple.
Why do potatoes make good detectives? Because they keep their eyes peeled.
Husband: "These pears a perfect right now."
Me: "Would you say they're 'pear-fect'?"
Why was red in awe of orange?
“Because orange blue green.”
What is a strawberry's favorite music band? Pearl Jam.
The pancake was quiet because it did not like to waffle.
We all know that monkeys of all species love bananas, however, there is one family that doesn’t really fancy them, the orang-utans.
Wondering about a peach's favorite movie? Well it has to be the 'King's Peach'.
What was the ice cream cone’s naughty pick up line?
Wanna lick me?
What should you do with an old inventory of fine French wine?
Liquidate it to the highest bidder.
If tomatoes are a fruit
Then ketchup is a smoothie.
The cold broth is known to have lived in Stock-holm.
My boss accused me of "acting the monkey" at work.
I almost choked on my banana.
What kind of donuts fly? Plain ones!
Is it bad to swallow a cherry whole? No don't worry, it's just one of the pitfalls of life.
Onions have had a long process in the evolutionary chain. They have evolved into today's onions from onionderthals.
Where do vegetables keep their money?
In the credit onion.
Vampires love cookies too, they love No-stake cookies.
What is the name of the country near Iraq that is made entirely of cheese? Curd-istan
How do you know when a cheese is full of himself?
Whatever you say, he’ll say he is feta.
"Darling, shall we buy some vegetables for tonight?"
"Yes, lettuce!"
What do you call a banana who gets all the girls?
A banana smoothie.
The strawberry was very good at racing because he was always juiced up before a race.
How long does it take to brew Chinese tea? Oolong time.
What do you call an onion who decides to be very eco-friendly in its approach? You name it a green onion.
"Can I get some peas and quiet?!" shouted the pea dad angrily.
What do you call a lamb covered in chocolate? A Candy Baa. Did you hear about the love affair between Mr. Goodbar and Peppermint Patty? They had a baby, Ruth.
Why don't they make ice cream from breast milk? It's an udderly bad idea!
Why are candles lit on top of birthday cakes?
It’s impossible to light them on the bottom
What happened when rockers couldn't get their favorite dessert? Rage against the Broken Ice Cream Machine.
An Native American drank 100 cups of tea.
Next day they found him dead in his tea pee.
The strawberry was scared of the cream. They were afraid it had gone bad.
I have no problem getting dates online. I’ve also had luck with almonds, cashews, and walnuts.
Why does cheese look normal? Because everyone else on the plate is crackers.
In the middle of the night yesterday, I dreamt that I was swimming in a sea of oranges only to wake up and realize that it was just a Fanta-sea.
Whats the name of the movie about Bacon? Frankenswine, or you can go see Hamlet.
Party Host: Would you like to try some mulled wine?
Party Guest: I'll have to think it over...
While breaking up with Princess Peach, Mario said "You are so peachy, I can't take it anymore".
The orange juice industry is not doing very well.
Tomorrow they will give a special press release.
"Oh, sweet child of wine."
"Are you sure about this?"
"Crust me, I'm on a roll."
What's the difference between French fries and orange juice?
You can make orange juice out of orange, but not French fries out of French
Why didn't the kids eat their soup? Because they're stew peed.