Which is the Richest Cheese in the world? Paris Stilton.
Q: Why are cherries never lonely?
A: Because they hang around in bunches.
What kind of potatoes are in the best shape? Hash browns; they’re totally shredded!
Q: What do you call a scary berry?
A: A boo-berry.
What do we call a beautiful picture drawn by a peach artist? – It is a great peach of work.
Strawberries are the most bullied of the fruits.
They're always getting picked on.
You better watch out before you play a game with any bread? Baguette ready to lose.
Why was the well done steak a terrible gossip? It wasn't juicy enough!
What do you call a pear with loose morals?
A prostifruit.
Did you know there’s an app for corn growers?
It’s made in Sili-corn Valley!
What is a squirrel’s favorite drink? A Peanut-Kola-da.
I've got a really good vegetable pun.
I’d tell you but I’m worried you’d think it’s too corny.
What nut is always begging for attention?
Pssst-tachios.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
I was throwing oranges at tropical birds. One of them caught one then said: “Toucan play that game”
What is the healthiest fruit?
“An orange. It takes Vitamin See!”
Corn mazes should be renamed Maize mazes.
What do you get when you cross a smurf and a cow?
Blue cheese.
A cable TV installer walks into a bar and orders a beer.
The bartender says, "You'll be served sometime between 7am and 2pm."
What do you call a vegetable planted at a whore house?
A brothel sprout.
The two slices of bread decided to leave the bakery. I heard that they wanted to grow mold together.
What kind of cheese makes the best music?
Brieoncé.
"I just want some peach and quiet!," said the orange.
When is a birthday cake like a golf ball?
When it’s been sliced.
I met a girl in a vegetarian restaurant who said she recognized me, but I have literally never seen herbivore.
What do you get when your dog jumps into the fire pit? A hot dog.
What do you call a socialite made of cheese?
Paris Stilton.
I recently heard on the news that due to newly detected fungus infection in the onions, the government was recalling all the recent packages of the vegetables. Despite being a farmer, I had no tears to shed over this.
Why did the blonde buy a brown cow? To get chocolate milk.
I always tend to forget the french word for strawberry sometimes. But, then I eventually remember the fraise.
What do you call 2000 pounds of Chinese soup? Won Ton.
What do you call a pig squished by sand? A ham sandwich.
How are a car and a bicycle similar?
“You can’t make watermelon juice out of either of them.”
Son: Hey dad, I stole a peach from the grocery store today.
Dad: Why?
Son: I don’t know, but I feel guilty. It’s a real pit in my stomach.
Remember to stop and smell the rosé.
What's the difference between England and a tea bag? The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
What is a monkey’s favourite cookie?
Chocolate Chimp!
When everyone agreed with Hulk at breakfast that they love waffles more, he said, "Not all heroes wear crepes."
What does a pizza say when it introduces itself to you?
Slice to meet you.
Why did the clock in the donut shop run slow?
It always went back four seconds
What do you call someone who eats too many eggs?
An egg-oholic.
What cheese is made backwards?
Edam.
What do you tell your friend after she breaks up with a cheese lover?
You’re cheddar off without him!
A young slice of bread came up to his crush. He told her that he was really falling in loaf with her.
How did the vineyard launch the new champagne making business?
They crashed a small boat into it.
What do fruits do when they are really really afraid? They run away as fast as their legs can cherry them.
What do you call a sad cup of coffee? A depresso.
I allow myself only one donut per year.
This morning I had 433 B.C., 1731, and 1952.
I never count my chickens before they're hatched.
Because they're eggs.
Can I have some of your avocado?
GUAC NO! I give zero guacs! You need to guac off!