What happened when the beer got divorced?
It became bitter.
People really liked the new king's coronation day peach. He truly deserves the throne.
What is the smallest onion known as? It is known as an electronion.
A boy lines up to get some apple juice and a girl lines up to get some orange juice
This would be funny but there’s no punchline.
I like to roll peas from the top of a mountain. I always start at the peak.
“Waiter, will my pizza be long?”
“No sir, it will be round!”
I have to spill my guts, I love Halloween!
My mother says: “Leave that peach cobbler alone on the table!” However, I cannot help myself and sneak in to watch it making beautiful peach shoes.
My son's has never really had much of an appetite.
But suddenly today he's eaten a dozen Kinder eggs whole.
He's full of surprises.
Why was the orange the valedictorian of her class?
She was the zest in class.
On which website will you learn about the hidden gossips and secrets of the onion world? On the website Wiki-Leeks.
It is really rare to find the most perfectly cooked steak.
What do politicans need to drink? Honest-Tea.
How good is a Coney Island gyro? Feta than se*.
What did the lovesick pig sing to his girlfriend? Don't go bacon my heart!
What do you give a dog with a fever? Mustard, it's the best thing for a hot dog.
At a restaurant, the peach said, "Hey, I would like a peach of cake for dessert, thank you!"
What do you call a Boston creme donut that’s a straight-A student?
The creme of the crop.
I think I drank some expired milk. I just have a gut feeling.
Why doesn’t the squirrel accept cash or credit at his store? Because it only accepts cash.
What do you say when a fruit wins the talent show? How about them apples?
The only thing that looks like half a strawberry is the other half.
Why do ice cream cones make such bad athletes?
They always get licked.
I introduced chocolate to milk. They did a chocolate milk shake.
My brother gave me whole milk, but I can only have nut milk with my cereal. How dairy!
Which mammal absolutely loves Merlot and Cabernet?
The Wineoceros.
How do monkeys get down the stairs? They slide down the banana-ster!
The nut gave her boyfriend the kola shoulder for missing their date.
Why could I not imagine to have milk in the afternoon? Because it was beyond my wildest creams.
Is beef soup good for our health? Not if you are the cow.
What’s Another Name For iPhone Chargers?
Apple Juice.
What is a terrorist's preferred kind of wine?
White Infidel.
What’s the difference between coffee and your opinion?
I asked for coffee.
What did the Mexican heavy metal guitarist say to his bandmates?
“Rock out with your guac out.”
The orange was really sad at the event because it had no peelings whatsoever for the desperate prune.
The cow intestine dish was offal, but the pig organ tacos was grocer!
How do you describe an onion which is in its early stages after birth? You say it is in its onion-ic period of its life.
"No wine left behind."
A fruit was madly in love, it was peachy–keen.
How do the Vietnamese like their soup? Purrrrrfect.
Why did the corn farmer go to jail?
He was stalking someone in a field.
When I refused to have the soup, my sister said "People who do not have soup are stew-pid".
Why do girls scouts sell cookies? They wanna make a sweet first impression.
Topside, silverside and brisket tend to groan when they get up from their chairs. This is because they are achey joints.
What's a barista's favorite morning mantra? Rise and grind.
When she asked me if I like soup, I replied saying "I am crazy pho soups".
Q: What is a peach’s favorite book?
A: War and Peach
What happened to the renegade donuts?
They went down in a glaze of glory.
What do you call a healthy dinosaur? Tea-Rex.
You know what they say about when life gives you melons?
You might be dyslexic.