I miss you! I’ll see you tater!
What did four of the last five presidents drink? Left-Tea.
My son just tried to tell me a joke about pumpkins.
Oh, gourd, was it awful.
What's the difference between a head of lettuce and a unicorn?
One is a funny beast, and the other is a bunny feast!
Love is also like a pineapple: They both are undefinable and sweet.
I tried looking up ice cream puns on the Internet...
But then my browser froze.
If you’re looking for potato puns, you can count on me to chip in.
How does lettuce listen to music?
Headphones.
He is the best chef in the city. His soups take my broth away.
Why did the two slices of bread disappear in the middle of the night? They wanted to e-loaf together.
Singular: One mango
Plural: Two menwent
My car smelled like bacon when I got home.
My porking brake was on.
When I told my friend an onion pun, he started crying. I asked whether they were tears of happiness?
Two peanuts were walking down the road but only one was attacked. They suspect the reason was the other was unsalted.
When shouldn't you drink a hot beverage? If it's not your cup of tea.
Don't drink too much coffee after breakfast. You might face a latte problems.
Why are men like coffee? The best ones are rich, hot, and can keep you up all night!
I went to Taco Bell and order nacho fries
the person behind the counter wouldn't give them to me, just kept saying "nacho fries".
Fruit puns intended
Does he avacado? Because If not you should let that mango.
Why did the baker keep putting too much flour in the bread? Because he was a gluten for punishment.
Which is a meat patty's least favourite day of the week? Fry-day!
How do you catch an elephant?
Act like a peanut.
How long does it take to brew Chinese tea? Oolong time.
A burglar broke into my house and took all my condiments, now I'm Spiceless in Seattle.
What did the caffeine addict name his cats?
Cream and Sugar.
Me and my sister used to be like peas in a pod, but recently she's become too snap-pea.
What do you call a person who spends a lot of time sitting and staring at potatoes? A medi-tator.
How do you know if you’ve had enough coffee?
You channel surf faster without the remote.
Which search engine is popular amongst mice? Ask Cheese.
When shouldn't you believe a word your cheese is saying? When it's too Gouda to be true.
"Let's get fizzical. Pass the prosecco."
The nut said it was very pine-ful when its’ shell cracked.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you going to open the door.
One should always practice what they peach.
What did the pumpkin say to the jar? Soon I will be ajar too.
My friend is always trying to make cows nervous. She's a fan of milkshakes.
When strawberries, blueberries or blackberries meet another berry they like and want to get married who do they go see?
The marionberry
When is a birthday cake like a golf ball? When it's been sliced.
The only type of cookies a cookie monster loves to eat during Halloween is Ghoul Scout Cookies.
The big play is in seven days, you better work on your peach enhancement techniques.
What type of egg refuses to come out of his shell?
An egg-arophobic.
What is the hippest kind of fruit? A bae-nae-nae.
Why shouln’t you rub avocado in your eyes?
You might get guacoma.
I always tend to forget the french word for strawberry sometimes. But, then I eventually remember the fraise.
I don’t wanna taco ‘bout it
Why were the kids throwing flour and bread at their school? They wanted to rise to the occasion.
What's a coffee's favorite karaoke song? Hit Me With your Best Shot.
Why did the students eat their homework? Because the teacher said that it was a piece of cake.
The difference between popcorn and pea soup, is that you can pop corn, but you can't pea soup.
Have you wondered what made the strawberry such a smoothie? It is the yoghurt of course.