My friends and I are in search of some fresh vegetables puns.
Please lettuce know if you find any.
What do you call leftover lettuce?
The romaines.
Why did the blonde stare at the carton of orange juice? It said concentrate.
What do you call a pig squished by sand? A ham sandwich.
What’s a nut’s favorite scary movie?
The Creature from the Black Legume.
Have a s-mash-ing birthday!
What’s a Biblical happening for nuts?
“The nut-tivity.“
Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing!
The peach started acting all funny because it was really fuzzy.
What is Bruce Lee’s favourite fruit? Wataaaaar melooooon?
"Adulting makes me wine."
Did you hear what happened between the cook and the onion?
I think there was a fight. It got a little dicey and tears were shed.
A strawberry will never help another strawberry because they tend to always get into jams.
What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese!
What’s an orange’s favourite animal? An orange-utan.
Why doesn't cheddar like to party with crackers? Someone always cuts the cheese.
On Mother's Day we went strawberry picking and made a jam from the fruits of our labor.
What’s a milk’s favorite fruit? Cow-conuts.
Subway - Lettuce know how we did.
What competition do nuts participate in?
The peanut butter cup.
What would Santa’s name be if he wore orange instead of red?
Fanta Claus.
What vegetable is not allowed on ships? Leeks.
My best friend said we're like two peas in a pod. I'm confused, there's only one P in pod.
Why have a mer little when you can have a merlot?
Why was the peach so sad at the funeral? It left a deep pit in its heart.
She was a little hesitant to try the new caramel flavor, but she decided to give it a shot, anyway.
I've got a really good vegetable pun.
I’d tell you but I’m worried you’d think it’s too corny.
What did the peanut say to the cashew after their argument?
Imma cashew outside!
Q: What anime series do fruits like to watch?
A: One peach.
Why did the blonde throw her favorite doll on the grill? She thought it was a Barbie-Q.
My brother gave me whole milk, but I can only have nut milk with my cereal. How dairy!
What do you call the Commander of a vegetable army?
A kernel.
What do you call royal pineapple? Your pine-ness.
What do you get when you dip a kitten in chocolate? A Kitty Kat bar!
What is a ghost pirate’s favorite kind of tea?
Boo tea!
I lost one pea from my plate at dinner the other day. It was an escape-pea.
What did the ice-cream say to the unhappy birthday cake?
“What’s eating you?”
I put some salt on my mobile. Now it’s a saxaphone.
I've started a Taco Bell themed John Coltrane cover band.x
We're called Crunchwrap Supremex
The watermelon thief was charged with robbery with violence, but the judge later changed that to a minor felony; or melony as he put it.
What do you call someone who chokes on their tea?
A cough-y drinker.
Why didn’t the pineapple fit in with the other fruit? Because it’s rough around the edges.
What do you call a magician nut?
“An individual who is able to turn into a nut.”
Some people say popcorn is hard to chew. There’s a kernel of truth to that.
What cheese is made backwards?
Edam.
Why was the white wine's off-beat pun so boo-ed?
Because it was too corky.
What happens when no one comes to your birthday party? You can have your cake and eat it too.
What do squirrels watch on TV?
Nut-flix.
What is Whitney Houston's favorite kind of lettuce?
Ennnnnnndddiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiivvvee.
What did the cherry say when it was given a bunch of flowers? You are cherry sweet.