There are two types of people in this world: People who love chocolate and liars. A study says that chocolate may lower your chances of a stroke. That is, a swimming stroke, a golf stroke, a tennis stroke.
How do you spell banana? E, V, I, L. Do banana's drink coke or pepsi? Neither, they drink blood because they're evil.
Do you know which the most favourite type of fruit of trees is? The pine – apple.
How do you get a mouse to smile?
Say cheese.
What do you call an epileptic in a vegetable garden Seizure salad
My daughter picked up a piece of fruit and asked, "Is this a pear?"
"No," I replied, "there is only one."
What's so special about twitter alphabet soup? It only has 140 letters.
Due to unusually successful harvests of chickpeas this year, the price of hummus is going to fall dramatically.
Buy the dip.
Are you a vegan?
'Cause I yam.
What do you call a stolen yam? A hot potato.
Why did the Oreo go to the dentist? Because it lost its filling.
What is a cowboy’s favorite tree?
A horse chestnut tree.
Ugh.. I ate too much hummus..
And now I filafel.
How do you share a piece of cheese with a bear?
Caerphilly.
If we cross lobster bisque and Elon Musk, what we have is a soup-er car
After his meal, the cannibal wipes his mouth and says: “My wife cooks the greatest soup in the world. But I will miss her so much.”
Usain bolt must be a fruit
Have you seen that mango?
What am I? A tea bag you dirty minded human...
The tiny bag of flour got in trouble, so his mother sent him to bread early. He kneaded to be punished.
What do you call a field full of epileptic lettuce ?
Seizure Salad
I eat a ton of corn everyday.
I guess that makes me a cornivore.
That wide loaf has a decent bread-th. Nice.
What did the egg say to the clown?
You crack me up.
What happens when an onion burps at the most awkward time? It releases tear gas.
What do you call it when Satan steals your guacamole?
Playing Devil’s Avocado.
I saw a pun on chocolate bars but it wasn’t that fun
So I just snickered.
When we spill soup on the comic book, we will get soup-erman.
How does bread win over friends?
“You can crust me.”
When the orange started peeling, he was glad it was finally cutting some weight.
What Christmas carol do candy bars sing? Almond Joy To The World.
Did you hear the one about the apathetic vegetable?
It didn't carrot all.
What rhymes with orange?
No, it doesn’t.
Why did the giant use clouds to make pancakes?
To make them light and fluffy.
Which hand should we use to stir the soup? It is better to stir the soup with a spoon!
What is a basketball players favorite kind of cheese? Swish cheese!
In North Korea, you can not throw fruits in the snow as they don't have the right to freeze peach
What is the difference between pea soup and roast beef? Everyone would roast beef.
The bowl of soup you bought yesterday from the Chinese restaurant was souper terrible.
What do you call an anthropomorphic animal blended in ice cream?
A McFurry
The innocent blueberry got easily framed for the crime because the evidence was a strawberry plant.
What do you call it when vegetables have siblings?
Pumpkin.
If you get an email about pork salt and fat, don't open it.
It's Spam.
An organization that citricises its workers cannot get the maximum juice out of them.
Beer doesn't make you fat
It makes you lean.
You had to use rennet to curdle the milk for making Ricotta, not lemon juice!
This is not the right whey.
What do you call a fruit that is rough around the edges? A bad apple.
What happened after an explosion at a French cheese factory? All that was left was de brie.
If tomatoes are a fruit
Then ketchup is a smoothie.
I got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallow, and nuts.
I won’t lie, it was a rocky road.
What's an egg's favorite movie?
Over Easy Rider.