The big play is in seven days, you better work on your peach enhancement techniques.
When the baby onion died just after being born, the doctors classified it as an o-neonatal death.
Tony, where do I even starch? I yam so happy we’re best spuds!
Why did the pig go into the kitchen? He felt like bacon.
Q: Why wouldn’t the teacher bring the class to the green pea farm?
A: It was in a seedy part of town.
Why did the orange lose the race?
“Because it got Im-peached.”
"My day just went from super to sip-erb, real quick."
What did the street cheese say after he got attacked by several blades? I've felt grater.
What do you call a stolen yam? A hot potato.
During the summer break, I enrolled myself in a peach coding course.
What’s a nut’s favorite Shakespeare line?
“To be or nut to be.”
An inspirational speaker came to speak at the fruit stand today. He told us to peach for the stars.
Did you hear the one about the pecan, the walnut, and the cashew?
It was nut funny.
Which search engine is popular amongst mice? Ask Cheese.
What do you call a chicken staring at lettuce?
Chicken sees a salad.
Why did the man put the cake in the freezer? Because his wife told him to ice it!
What do you call leftover lettuce?
The romaines.
What did the burger meat say to the BBQ? “Is it meat you’re looking for?”
What do you get when your dog jumps into the fire pit? A hot dog.
“How was your day? ” “It was a total disas-tater”
My herbs were looking a little scuffed, but when I went to go polish them, my friend was already getting ready to help me out. This made me upset, so I grabbed a sprig out of their hands and said
This is my thyme to shine.
Have you heard about the pig who killed his own farmer? He did it to save his bacon.
Q: Where do fruits like to go on vacations?
A: To the peach.
What do fruits look for at a talent show? A berry that can really cherry a tune.
What is the difference between a pineapple and a school bus? The little pricks are at the inside of the bus, but on the outside of the pineapple.
If you are wondering about a peach's favorite video game, well it's definitely 'Super Princess Peach'.
Which nut is the worst for your diet?
Donuts.
What are the four seasons?
Salt, Pepper, Sugar and Flour.
What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror ? Halloumi (Hello me)
What do you call a cow that has 2 legs? Side of beef
Why was the orange skeptical of everyone around him?
He was planted with a seed of doubt.
What is a French cat's favorite dessert? Chocolate mousse!
Why don’t these children eat their soup? Because all of them is stew-pid.
What kind of party is held in a cornfield?
A cornball!
Why was the meat packer arrested? For bringing home the bacon.
What do you call an onion that is very sick and has a high temperature? It is a boiling onion.
What did the vegetables say to the Salad Dressing? Lettuce all smile.
It is a great idea to ask peaches to make your shoes. After all, they make excellent cobblers.
Which language do oranges use to speak to each other? Mandarin.
Have you heard of the new squirrel diet?
“It’s just nuts.”
Tobacco companies have made an orange flavored cigarette. They call it “Nico-tang”
How did the corn farmer get to be so successful?
He corn-ered the market!
Can I have some of your avocado?
GUAC NO! I give zero guacs! You need to guac off!
What candy is only for girls? HER-SHEy's Kisses!
A truck with an entire load of strawberries has crashed on the motorway. It's caused a real traffic jam.
What kind of wine do they serve at the horse races?
Chardon-neigh!
I have pea soup for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. That’s why I pea soup all night!
My dad tried to put peas into an orange once. It didn't appeal to me.
Why do workers at the dairy factory always need a charger? Their milk is stuck at 1%.
Remind your kids not to overdo it on the pumpkin pie this time of year.
Or they might get autumn'y ache.