You are the best, I feel so peachy when I am with you!
What do you call 2 fruits that can't get married?
Cantelopes.
I love almond milk. It’s unlike any udder nut milk.
What do you get when you spill soup on a comic book? Souperman.
Who is the funniest fruit around? Cherry Seinfeld.
Is beef soup good for our health? Not if you are the cow.
The young loaf of bread ended up getting fired from his job because he kept loafing around. Poor guy.
When you come across oranges wearing suntan lotion, don’t judge them harshly. They do so in order not to peel.
Why do golfers love donuts?
Always a hole-in-one!
When you finish the lemons that life gives you;
Sublime.
I eat a ton of corn everyday.
I guess that makes me a cornivore.
What type of window do donuts prefer in their homes?
Double glazed.
"It isn't good to keep things bottled up."
What is a donut’s favorite day of the week?
Fry-day.
Why did the birthday cake go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crumby!
What do you call bananas who are friends with monkeys? A bunch of idiots.
Why did the students eat their homework? Because the teacher said that it was a piece of cake.
When you come across a strawberry that uses foul language, it must be berry rude.
Made the mistake of offering my realtor some lipton iced tea
I forgot that he only drinks realty.
Why couldnt the pumpkin have kids?
He had a halloweener.
The two loaves of bread could not wait to stare through the delivery room window. They wanted to see their new bun-dle of joy.
What did the salt say after it was pepper-sprayed?
That's nothing to sneeze at.
What did the father cantaloupe say to his son?
“Watermelon! (Water-my-lawn)”
The student asked the teacher, “Cashew a question?”, and the teacher replied, “Nut now”.
There's no need to cherry your feelings, I know you love me really.
Do you know why a pineapple can be a good observer? Because it has a lot of eyes around its body.
Why did the butchers meating end soon? Because one of them started beef.
What if someone made raisins with juice in them
That would be grape.
Q: Why could the fruits not see anything?
A: It was peach black there.
"Sip happens."
My dog is sad after eating her favorite fruit and getting wet from the juice.
She's a watered melancholy watermelon collie.
Did you hear about the man who quit his job at a bakery? They said that it left him loathe of bread.
My girlfriend said we aren't getting married until she has a pear shape
It's the reason we cantaloupe
Did you hear about the pea pod that became damaged?
It had to wear a pod cast.
Chuck berry was undoubtedly the greatest rock and roll strawberry.
What do you call really scared pasta?
Chicken noodles.
What would happen if pigs could fly? The price of bacon would go skyrocket.
What makes nuts healthy? They have many nut-rients.
When an unripe strawberry saw the ripe strawberry, it went green with envy.
What pickup line can you use to pick up a cheese lover?
“Are you cheddar? ‘Cause you’re lookin’ sharp!”
What does a cat like to eat on his birthday?
Mice cream and cake!
What’s the difference between coffee and your opinion?
I asked for coffee.
You can fix a broken strawberry with a strawberry patch.
What is a monkey's favorite cookie? Chocolate chimp!
What do you get when you cross a goblin and cheese? Muenster cheese.
What do teachers drink at school? Facul-Tea.
When I said "God, Thank you for this delicious noodle soup", my dad said "Ramen".
My doctor told me to cut down on red meat.
So, could you brown it up a bit?
I've written a book about a very grumpy British pea farmer, it's called "Mind your peas and queues."
What kind of wine is aged to purr-fection?
Mos-cat-o!