What’s that green head of something that is the main part of a salad?
Lettuce think about it.
What do you call a pastry that is a priest?
A Holy Donut!
What do you call a nut with a hairy upper lip?
A mustach-io
A restaurant server was fired on his first day of work for taking a woman’s salad.
He thought the manager said “seize her salad”.
What does a cat like to eat on his birthday? Mice cream and cake!
Did you hear about the little people starting a beer making operation?
It's a micro brewery.
What is a ghost peppers favorite Leonardo Dicaprio film? Catch me if you Cayenne.
Which nut is the worst for your diet?
Donuts.
I think therefore I yam.
Why does a little cherry always look up to its parents? It tries to follow in their fruitsteps.
the difference between a pizza and my pizza jokes?
My pizza jokes can’t be topped!
Why don't bananas snore? Because they don't want to wake up the rest of the bunch.
What do you call bananas that don't stick up for themselves? A bunch of pansies.
What do you call a banana who gets all the girls?
A banana smoothie.
How does Moses make coffee?
Hebrews it.
What is the only way one does not have to cry while cutting onions? They simply don't have to form emotional bonds with it.
Digital burgers are nothing but processed meat.
How do you know it’s cold outside? When you milk a brown cow you get
chocolate ice cream.
What is the cherry fruit's favorite American talkshow? The Cherry Springer Show of course!
You had to use rennet to curdle the milk for making Ricotta, not lemon juice!
This is not the right whey.
Why did the pineapple’s phone die? It needed juice.
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
Apples and oranges had a conversation one day. Guess what the apples were saying the oranges, nothing stupid, apples don’t talk.
I told the cowboy to eat salad with his fingers
He said he needed a ranch hand.
Why is a pineapple so attractive? Because it keeps its juices flowing.
When shouldn't you believe a word your cheese is saying? When it's too Gouda to be true.
When does Oliver Stone eat ice cream? Any Given Sundae.
What’s an apple’s favorite restaurant? Applebee’s.
What sandwich spread makes people itch?
Flea-nut butter.
What do you call a dog with a fever? A hot dog.
How can you make a computer system cry? Delete his cookies.
What has 100 teeth and eats wieners? A zipper!
What did the nut tell itself before crossing the finish line? “I pe-can do it!”
What is a cowboy’s favorite tree?
A horse chestnut tree.
The kindergarten kids were taught the alphabet and peach sounds at school.
What happened to the cherry that got married to an apple? They are living apple-y ever after.
Why did the blonde buy a brown cow? To get chocolate milk.
What is the name of the country near Iraq that is made entirely of cheese? Curd-istan
What is a vampire who loves eating strawberry jam called? A jampire.
My bag of fruit snacks had all grapes
Today’s gonna be a grape day!
What do you call juice with no ice in it?
Ju.
What did mamma orange say to little orange after he spilled his milk? It’s no big peel!
Q: What is a peach’s favorite book?
A: War and Peach
What did the pineapple say to the pineapple chunk? Stay golden.
What do you call a pear with loose morals?
A prostifruit.
Are you a vegan?
'Cause I yam.
The peach started acting all funny because it was really fuzzy.
I got a packet of onions from the supermarket yesterday. Somehow, by today, all of them have disappeared. Guess this is why the shopkeeper warned me not to buy Bermuda Onions.
Why didn't the kids eat their soup? Because they're stew peed.
Did you hear about the cheese failed to medal at the olympics? It fell at the final curdle