Having pineapple on a pizza is quite like going down on a cousin: It might taste good, but something is not right.
Why is the chef so mean?
He beats the eggs.
You can fix a broken strawberry with a strawberry patch.
If you coriander into my tomato soup, you will give me a soup-herb dish.
Why do donuts hate puns so much?
They donut like to joke around!
What Christmas carol do candy bars sing? Almond Joy To The World.
What is John Lennon's favorite donut? Strawberry' Filled Forever.'
What do you call it when you order the same donut every day?
A do-rut!
Many people have puns, but they will nut tella you.
A strawberry's favorite place to visit is Jam-aica.
What does a priest put on his salad?
Lettuce spray.
The spoiled milk always got what it wanted.
Why did the baker keep putting too much flour in the bread? Because he was a gluten for punishment.
Did you hear about the man who quit his job at a bakery? They said that it left him loathe of bread.
Why doesn't cheddar like to party with crackers? Someone always cuts the cheese.
An inspirational speaker came to speak at the fruit stand today. He told us to peach for the stars.
The strawberry went out with the grape only because he couldn't find a date.
What did the glass of wine say to the beer?
Nothing... They barley knew each other.
Things don’t always pine out the way we want them to, but we can-nut give up!
Got the drive-thru girl at Taco Bell..
I pulled up and she said, "what can I get you?" And I replied, "I'll just have a moment for now."
I really like corn, but I can't find it because this time of year it's never in stalk
The two slices of bread decided to leave the bakery. I heard that they wanted to grow mold together.
How does an ice cream cone congratulate you on the anniversary of your birth?
It’s sherbert day!
Why didn't the butcher cross the road? He didn't want to brisket!
Do you know what is the most favourite fruit in the United States? – Mmm peach!
Some people prefer milk after it has churned. I guess they find it butter that way.
I found a sour strawberry today. It was berry bad.
What's a vampire's most favorite fruit? It must be a neck-tarine peach.
When you come across a strawberry that uses foul language, it must be berry rude.
Why are lemons safer than limes?
There’s no such thing as lemon’s disease.
What do you call young avocados?
Avokiddos.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a cow? Roost beef!
My sister thinks that she is so intelligent. She says onion is the only food which makes her cry. That is the reason why I threw a pineapple at her face.
In Australia, they have a scary lemon dessert that keeps coming back.
They call it Boo-Meringue.
What do lawyers snack on?
Plea-nuts.
The soup was busy and preoccupied. He was stewing over something his friend said.
Did you hear? The pilgrims rode the May-Flour so that they could bake bread as they went to America. This is a cute option.
Why did the Oreo go to the dentist? Because it lost its filling.
How can you tell that a blondes been baking chocolate chip cookies? Theres M&M shells all over the floor.
What did one bread lover say to the other?
Before I break down and rye, I want you to know that I loaf you.
How much does a corn flake weigh?
1 Kelloggram.
I just watched someone try to steal a pumpkin from a bull.
He got gourd.
Picking strawberries can be a very fruitful endeavor!
I once saw a guy burn to death after nutting
“He cumbusted”
Why shouldn't you be too inquisitive with a cherry? Ask no questions tell no pies.
"Sip, sip hooray."
What activity should you do when you’re babysitting little cheeses?
Build a roquefort.
How did the corn farmer get to be so successful?
He corn-ered the market!
What did the cake say to the fork? you want a piece of me?
Did you hear about the scientist that studied nectarines? He won the Nobel Peach Prize.