What do you call a baby potato? Small fry.
Knock Knock.
Who’s there? Donut. Donut who? Donut ask, it’s a secret!
Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato?
The lettuce was ahead while the tomato tried to ketchup.
If your team loses the Souper Bowl, then be prepared for a lot of boouillons from your fans.
A packing plant received a load of lettuce to process. The workers grabbed the boxes quickly from the top and the bottoms fell out spilling the produce.
The boss yells, grab the boxes by the bottom, or heads are going to roll!
What do you call a Vegetarian with diarrhea? A Salad Shooter.
If you search for pictures of corn on Google you'll only get stalk pictures.
The butcher’s life was at steak when the meat market caught fire.
The soup chef changed the design of his menu. He said his new favorite font is Times New Ramen.
Did you hear about the butcher who got into danger? His life was at steak!
Wino Woe: Forgive me, for I have zinned!
What do you call a hobbit who has bad breath? He is known as Lord of Onion Rings!
I wasn’t sure if I ordered enough tacos from Taco Bell.
So I got a just in quesadilla.
What kind of apple has a short temper? A crab apple.
When the peach lost her mother, it left a deep pit in her heart.
“Waiter, will my pizza be long?”
“No sir, it will be round!”
What do you say to a small onion that has helped you?
Thanks shallot.
What do you call two banana skins? A pair of slippers
A young slice of bread came up to his crush. He told her that he was really falling in loaf with her.
What did the skeleton order for lunch? Spare ribs!
While leaving, the peach friend told his sad buddy, "If you need any help, just peach out, I will be there."
I was making a salad the other day, and I thought I heard a small red vegetable that was a bit like an onion whispering. Must have been a hoarse radish.
How good is a Coney Island gyro? Feta than se*.
Where should you call if you find a bad cheese shop?
The feta business bureau.
Why don't bananas snore?
Because they don't want to wake up the rest of the bunch.
Did you hear about the man who quit his job at a bakery? They said that it left him loathe of bread.
Don't be too harsh on the bread. All it kneads is love.
What is everyone getting for completing No Nut November?
“Nuttin”
Which is the fanciest onion? A cocktail onion.
What do you give a horse that has just won the Kentucky Derby? An Appletini.
During World War 2, sending food to the troops was a challenge. Researchers had to concentrate to figure out how to send orange juice.
What happens when two coffee lovers disagree on their favorite roast? It turns into a heated debate.
Why did the birthday cake go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crumby!
Can I have some of your avocado?
GUAC NO! I give zero guacs! You need to guac off!
I sent back the soup served to me at the restaurant. It was not of soup-reme quality.
What is the difference between pea soup and roast beef? Everyone would roast beef.
How do the Vietnamese like their soup? Purrrrrfect.
Why do bacon lettuce and tomatoes have the lowest IQ out of all the foods?
Because they're in-bred.
Have you ever wondered if illiterate people would get the full effects of alphabet soup?
I saw an egg behaving oddly today.
It was probably just a bit egg-centric.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky!
The police have been interrogating the walnut for several mi-nuts now. It’s a tough nut to crack!
What do you call a girl with no arms, no legs, sitting in a watermelon patch?
“Melanie! (melon-y)”
What kind of potatoes are in the best shape? Hash browns; they’re totally shredded!
What kind of candy is never on time? ChocoLATE
Which nut is the worst for your diet?
Donuts.
Did you hear about the farm dog who liked to strip ears of corn?
He was part husky!
What do you call a baby lion on lettuce?
Cub Salad.
Why was the meat packer arrested? For bringing home the bacon.
The watermelon thief was charged with robbery with violence, but the judge later changed that to a minor felony; or melony as he put it.