What did the coffee say to its date? Hey there, hot stuff.
Where did the garlic clove go to have a few drinks? The Salad Bar!
Why didn't the drunk Mexican druglord find the Bacon Tree? Because he walked into a Ham Bush!
A musical strawberry jam that knows how to play the trumpet is called Tooty fruity.
Why is the strawberry loved dearly by everyone? Because it is berry sweet.
"I hate tacos!"
Said no Juan ever.
What is the left side of an apple? The part that you don't eat.
I recently got told ketchup doesn't actually use tomatoes
But I can't find a reliable sauce on that.
My friend was totally addicted to the cold meat section in our local supermarket. It got so bad, they had to quit cold turkey.
The soup chef changed the design of his menu. He said his new favorite font is Times New Ramen.
What did Einstein say when someone tried to steal his beer?
Nein! Mine Stein!
Back in the early 2010s, the peach children loved to flock around to listen to Peach Pit.
What do oranges like to listen to?
Musical com-peel-ations.
Went to a German restaurant. The beer was fine,
But their sausage was the wurst!
What did Bacon say to Tomato? Lettuce get together!
I’d like to tell a joke about salt but then said to myself: "Na."
What did the daddy potato say to his son before his soccer game? I’m rooting for you!
What do you call a chicken staring at lettuce?
Chicken sees a salad.
I have pea soup for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. That’s why I pea soup all night!
What do you call a pickle from the southern backwoods.
A hill-dilly.
Why did the croissants take the donuts and bagels to Disneyland?
They thought it would be fun for the hole family.
So, how on earth did the police catch the watermelon thief without a solid description? Don’t really know; guess the bloke was acting seedy.
How did the coffee show its love? It said, "Words cannot espresso how much you bean to me."
What do you call a potato wearing glasses? A spec-tater!
The nut said it was very pine-ful when its’ shell cracked.
I once saw an onion that had been preserved for ages. It was an Egyptian onion.
How do you make a milkshake? Give a cow a pogo stick.
Why was there peanut butter in the middle of the road?
It went with the traffic jam.
What do you call it when Satan steals your guacamole?
Playing Devil’s Avocado.
"I need to re-wine my life."
When I tried taking a picture of my bread load, it came out grainy. I think that that is a common problem.
Donut even think about taking another donut!
What do you get when an Elephant sits on an Orange?
Orange squash.
How do you know when guacamole has gone bad?
When it turns guaca-moldy.
One of the most courageous souls in the world is anybody who looks at a pineapple and thinks that “I bet I would eat it.”
How does Moses make coffee?
Hebrews it.
What do you call seasoned and dried robot meat?
Beep chirpy
When would an apple be not an apple? When it is a pineapple!
What is the easiest way to make a banana split? Cut it in half.
"It isn't good to keep things bottled up."
Lots of peas work as spies. Espea-onage is very common.
The price of candy at the movie theater is quite ridiculous. They're always raisinet!
I am going bananas. Thats what i say to my bananas before i leave the house
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock Who’s there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn’t say banana?
Eating no meat except fish is really bothersome.
I should stop being a Pesky-tarian.
How does a cheese tell you they want to be with you?
“I think you and I would look gouda together.”
Why did he skeleton go to the barbecue? To get another rib.
After his meal, the cannibal wipes his mouth and says: “My wife cooks the greatest soup in the world. But I will miss her so much.”
The mother helped her child bake bread because it was a labor of loaf. True enough.
You are the best, I feel so peachy when I am with you!