Why are bread puns the greatest? They never grow mold.
Q: Why did the orange cross the road?
A: Because everyone thought he was a chicken.
When the baby onion died just after being born, the doctors classified it as an o-neonatal death.
What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort
What did baby corn say to Mama corn?
Where's Popcorn?
The cookie monster couldn’t make his bed, why? Because he couldn’t find his cookie sheets.
What did one cheese tell the other cheese on Valentine’s day?
Brie mine.
Which actor is now being quarantined for Swine Flu? Kevin Bacon
There was a bull in the neighborhood who would always vandalize my farm. Guess it was because I harvested Spanish onions.
Why does the mushroom always get invited to pizza parties?
Because he’s such a fungi!
What kind of candy is never on time? ChocoLATE
What song was the peach listening to? 'Stronger with Peach Tear'.
The cold broth is known to have lived in Stock-holm.
"My day just went from super to sip-erb, real quick."
What do you get when you put Cola in an oven?
Baking soda.
What is a monkey’s favourite cookie?
Chocolate Chimp!
My favorite fruit is the pear.
Because if you have two and you eat one, you still have a pear left.
When the chef asked me how I would like my soup, I said "I would like minestrone".
It is a great idea to ask peaches to make your shoes. After all, they make excellent cobblers.
What is the difference between a cow that produces normal milk and a cow that produces chocolate milk?
A mootation
Americans were preparing peach gelatos, to demonstrate it's right to freeze peach!
"Let's get fizzical. Pass the prosecco."
What did the watermelon wife say to his stinky husband? You’ve got a strange smelon you today.
How do two cherries make up after an argument? They cherry the hatchet.
When I told my friend an onion pun, he started crying. I asked whether they were tears of happiness?
What’s fat, hairy and drinks a lot of coffee?
Java the Hut!
You had to use rennet to curdle the milk for making Ricotta, not lemon juice!
This is not the right whey.
I cut a dill with this spicy mami, but at the last minute she ginger mind.
What vegetable is kind of cool?
The Radish.
A protestor threw a bunch of spices on Jason "Pink" London, but all it did was leave him "Saged and Confused".
How do you catch an elephant?
Act like a peanut.
Potato puns are a-peeling.
I spent last Christmas with a bunch of soft fruit. I kept getting confused with the toast – they were saying “Eat, drink and be cherry!”
The nectarine academic is doing a Ph.D. in 'Peach and Language Psychology' from the University of Georgia.
What soup killed Rob Stark? Italian Wedding Massacre.
What is the only way one does not have to cry while cutting onions? They simply don't have to form emotional bonds with it.
What would Santa’s name be if he wore orange instead of red?
Fanta Claus.
Finally, the call came in and the orange was informed by the person on the other end of the line that the company had orange-d an interview for the following day.
I love you from my head tomato
What does an ice cream lawyer say?
You got served.
Q: What happens when two oranges collide?
A: They get en-tang-led!
Why did the cherry go to the good drinks factory? It was cordially invited.
Where do squirrels go for fun?
The acorn-ival.
Why was red in awe of orange?
“Because orange blue green.”
Why did the lemon like the orange? He’s not from concentrate.
Why did the citrus fruit join the military?
“Because it was a navel orange.”
Usain bolt must be a fruit
Have you seen that mango?
What did Mrs. Pea say to his wife after she refused to listen to her? "I don't care, just do as you peas."
Did you know that you can get a slice of lemon pie in Cuba for $1.50, but in Jamaica you can get key lime pie for $1.00?
Those are the pie rates of the Carribean.
What do you call a womanising chocolate? A cad-bury.