I've just invented a new Canadian beer
It's a form of I.P.Eh
Why did the burglar break into the bakery? A; Because he heard the cakes were rich.
The pancake was quiet because it did not like to waffle.
If your doctor tells you to go on a low sodium diet, do you take his advise with a grain of salt?
What do you call a cherry that is hard as nails? Tough as old fruits.
What hotel do cheese lover’s stay in?
The Stilton.
Strawberries have berry good eyesight because they are packed with a lot of Vitamin See.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Ice cream!
Ice cream who?
Ice cream if you throw me in the cold, cold water!
Some people say popcorn is hard to chew. There’s a kernel of truth to that.
What do the peanuts and walnuts have in common? They are both nuts.
Which nut is the best at playing tag?
Catch-yous aka cashews.
How busy was the donuts day? It was jam packed!
What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A blood orange.
Maturity is typically most rapid in a low latitude, where women and pineapples most do thrive.
What’s the best pick up line for someone you meet in a steak restaurant? “Nice to meat you”, of course.”
What vegetable did King Arthur pull from the stone?
Exparagus.
I recently read a book by an onion which had opened up on its life. Midway through the book, I started crying.
In Australia, they have a scary lemon dessert that keeps coming back.
They call it Boo-Meringue.
The apple says to the pineapple “What? Go out with you tonight? It will not happen in a million years!” Since then, we have a crushed pineapple.
What's green and swims in the sea?
Moby Pickle.
A cabbage said to a DJ “lettuce turnip the beet!”
Know what kind of cookies rich people love? Fortune cookies.
How does a pineapple answer the phone? “Yel-low?”
What does a piece of cheese tell you during a game of tag?
Cheez it.
It peels nice to be voted in as the most appeeling model in the contest.
What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese!
What is the favorite color of onions all around the world? Their favorite color is the o-neon.
Last time I was in France I wanted to ask a question about strawberries
But I wasn't sure how to fraise it.
Which sports team do wine lovers always root for?
The Reds!
What made the baby cookie cry so loud? His mother was a wafer so long.
What did the parmesan say when it broke up with the mozzarella?
Sorry but I am too mature for you.
Q: Why did peas jump out of an airplane?
A: They wanted to be air pods.
A sad peach can be really pit-iful, sometimes.
Why did the butchers meating end soon? Because one of them started beef.
What do you call meat balls falling from the sky? A meat-ior shower.
"Adulting makes me wine."
Milk is the fastest drink on the planet. It's pasteurized before you even see it.
What do cherries say to their best friends? You are cherrific!
Did you hear about the salad race the other day?
The Lettuce was ahead, but the Tomato was ketchoping up...
I was straining some old noodles but eventually, I chickened out. It was such a broth-er.
An angry fruit yells at traffic in front of them
“Mango!”
What is John Lennon's favorite donut? Strawberry' Filled Forever.'
What do you call bacon with salt on it
Salt and Peppa
What do you call a baker with a cold?
Coughee cake.
I had thought of a lot of good bread puns, but they seem to have gone a rye. I know the feeling.
If Santa made love to a pickle, what would they call their baby?
Claussen.
It was the pie piper who had led the strawberries to the bakery.
Saw a great offer on cheese in Tesco today!
It was buy one get one brie.
I recently got a new job as a golf caddy, but I was fired after less than an hour.
The guy asked me for a sand wedge. I don't think he likes pickle.
What do you call a melon that commits a crime?
“A water-fellon!”