There was an announcement on the news the other day, we've finally achieved world peas.
You spilled your entire cup of coffee? What's sumatra with you?
When the mama peach found out that his child had failed his class, she was s-peach-less.
If you are wondering about a peach's favorite video game, well it's definitely 'Super Princess Peach'.
How does a potato win at Street Fighter? By mashing the kick button.
What did baby corn say to Mama corn?
Where's Popcorn?
I'm worried that the milk I got this morning was from a cloned cow. It tasted exactly like the milk I had yesterday.
A strawberry's favorite celebrity is Mary Berry.
When the onion band covered the song Waka Waka by Shakira, they started calling the song 'Walla Walla'.
What's the manliest fruit to eat?
Mango.
This is a taco and burrito conversation.
Nachos.
Even though Jake was a heartthrob Casanova, he just had to break up with his long-time watermelon vending girlfriend; said she was always melondramatic about everything.
What do we call a plumb pineapple? It is called a pineapple chunk!
I tried to milk my cow last night, but nothing I did seemed to work. It was an udder failure.
Q: Why is a carrot orange and pointy?
A: Because if it was green and round, it would be a pea!
I tried finding the dairy factory last night, but I had no luck. I must have lost my whey.
What is a monkey's favorite cookie? Chocolate chimp!
What is the most sophisticated class of bread?
The upper crust.
Why should you bake bacon on an asteroid on its way to Earth ?
It's meteor.
"Time to wine down."
Apparently there's a fruit that is naturally radioactive.
I think that's bananas!
I'm going to start a hummus brand that comes in really difficult to open containers.
It's gonna be called 'hummus posta eat this'.
Why do wine lovers guzzle down vine humor?
Because wine jokes are a barrel of laughs.
Why was the pizzeria desperate for business?
Because they kneaded the dough!
You used to call me on my cell-ery phone.
Q: Why couldn’t the orange believe that her friend had let her down?
A: This was because citrus-ted him!
Party Host: Would you like to try some mulled wine?
Party Guest: I'll have to think it over...
Why was the peanut butter upset at his retirement party?
He was roasted.
What do you call a nut on a Wheelchair?
“A busted nut.”
Why isn’t there an organization like Chocoholics Anonymous?
Because nobody wants to quit.
What does an anteater like on its pizza?
Ant-chovies.
The watermelon thief was charged with robbery with violence, but the judge later changed that to a minor felony; or melony as he put it.
Udon even know how to cook this udon recipe. Fortunately, I can teach you.
What is the chemical formula for the molecules in candy? Carbon-Holmium-Cobalt-Lanthanum-Tellurium or CHoCoLaTe
The other day I asked an Alaskan guy if he wanted to eat some seal meat.
He wasn’t really inuit
What do you call a cake that likes heavy metal? Megadeth by Chocolate.
I went to my fridge to get some lettuce for my salad
But there was none Romaine-ing.
What do bread kids say during hide-and-seek?
Bready or not, here I crumb!
Why are apples afraid to grow in the United States? Because they don't want to be as American as apple pie.
I had thought of a lot of good bread puns, but they seem to have gone a rye. I know the feeling.
"Wine a little, laugh a lot."
What does a cat like to eat on his birthday? Mice cream and cake!
Did you hear about the pear that fell off of the tree and fell to its death?
The damage was irreparable.
What did the vegetables say to the Salad Dressing? Lettuce all smile.
The baker just felt this incredible knead to make bread. That’s certainly the truth.
My wife started a tropical diet
There’s so much stuff in the house it’s enough to make a mango crazy.
What's the most musical cut of chicken? The drumstick!
Why did the dairy farmer go on a diet? She wanted to cheddar a few pounds!
A new bakery in town began ding extremely well. They said that business was definitely on the rise.
Nowadays oranges have decided to go out with prune. The reason is that it is becoming so hard to find a date.