Subway - Lettuce know how we did.
I am soup-er into the beautiful girl that I met yesterday at school.
Excuse me waiter, I have a question about the house salad.
Does it come with window dressing?
Why does every watermelon want to be in the Guinness book of records? Because there’s a lot of watermelon smashing to be done.
Q: What happens to a cherry tree when it grows up?
A: It blossoms
How are guys just like coffee?
The best ones are rich, hot, and can keep you up all night!
What's the difference between Hummus and Humus?
"mmmm"
How do you get the most apples at Halloween? Take a snorkel.
Why did the daddy peach teach the child peach to shave? He was starting to grow peach fuzz.
What does a piece of cheese tell you during a game of tag?
Cheez it.
At a get-together, one fruit asked another "I was wondering how have you been". The other replied "Just peachy, isn't that grape?"
What a spud muffin.
I love almond milk. It’s unlike any udder nut milk.
Chuck berry was undoubtedly the greatest rock and roll strawberry.
What did the Mexican heavy metal guitarist say to his bandmates?
“Rock out with your guac out.”
Why do we enjoy wine jokes?
Because they're de-vine!
What did the steak say to his enemy? I have a T-bone to pick with you!
How do you make Ohio State University cookies? Put them in a big Bowl and beat for 3 hours.
My herbs were looking a little scuffed, but when I went to go polish them, my friend was already getting ready to help me out. This made me upset, so I grabbed a sprig out of their hands and said
This is my thyme to shine.
What is the difference between a pineapple and a school bus? The little pricks are at the inside of the bus, but on the outside of the pineapple.
Q: Why did the cherry stop in the middle of the road?
A: It ran out of juice.
What kind of apple has a short temper? A crab apple.
"Adulting makes me wine."
What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort
Why shouln’t you rub avocado in your eyes?
You might get guacoma.
When I was younger, I once smashed up a nest of heron's eggs.
No egrets.
What did the cheese say after escaping the mouse? I'm Brieeee!
This special peach school is for those Peach kids who are suffering from peach and hearing impairment.
What did the apple teacher say to her student? Help me orange the chairs please!
Following a recipe, says I need: pears, five cubed. 125 sounds like a lot of pears for a pie…
It’s too bad that bread puns are always so crumby. Mmm . . . crumbs.
What do you call a beautiful pumpkin?
Gourdgeous.
Who did the Caribbean jerk fall in love with? The Spice Girl next door.
Why was the man holding a bottle of ketchup? Because it was raining cats and hot dogs.
At the bar mitzvah ceremony, the Jewish onion greeted his uncle by saying 'Shallot'.
How do you milk sheep ?
Release another iPhone.
What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven? Angel food cake, of course!
Whenever the peach gets angry, it looks at my face and screams: “You are just a peach of sh*t!”
What is a cheese lover’s favorite Village People song?
Nacho Man.
Do you hear about the pineapple and honeydew who try to get married? The court says that they cant – eloupe.
What do oranges like to listen to?
Musical com-peel-ations.
There was a bull in the neighborhood who would always vandalize my farm. Guess it was because I harvested Spanish onions.
What do you call fake ramen noodles? An impasta.
Eating no meat except fish is really bothersome.
I should stop being a Pesky-tarian.
People say nothing rhymes with orange. It seems very strange to me.
What’s another name for a chess-nut? A nut who loves chess.
What is the most sophisticated class of bread?
The upper crust.
What do you call a barking pumpkin?
A gourd dog.
What do you get when you cross a smurf and a cow?
Blue cheese.
What is the correct answer to Hummus?
A cow.