Have you seen that awesome video of a Koala drinking tea high up in the trees?
It’s super high Koala-tea
What does a pizza wear to smell good?
Calzogne.
The young loaf of bread ended up getting fired from his job because he kept loafing around. Poor guy.
The daddy strawberry got the job to perform at the circus because he was a berry straw-ng man.
A strawberry's favorite place to visit is Jam-aica.
Who is the most powerful potato? Darth Tater.
Why did the coffee file a police report?
Because it was mugged.
Did you hear about the banana who went to the doctor's because he wasn't peeling very well?
I went to watch a play and there were so many peach errors in the dialogues.
What is a monkey’s favourite cookie?
Chocolate Chimp!
How did the corn farmer get to be so successful?
He corn-ered the market!
How do you make an apple puff? Chase it round the garden.
You're about half as likely to die from a vegetable pun as you artichoke.
What did the Buddhist monk say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything.
The orange said to the melon, “You are one in a melon.” The melon replied, “You are so appealing.”
What is yellow on the inside and green on the outside? A banana dressed up as a cucumber !
What do we get when we cross a Christmas tree with an apple? We will have a pine – apple!
Saw a great offer on cheese in Tesco today!
It was buy one get one brie.
My friend exports the lilikoi fruit...
He says it’s his passion.
What do bandages like to put on their salad?
A wound dressing.
Who named their daughter Macadamia?
A couple of nuts.
No one laughed at my soup puns. I said "When I crack a soup joke, everyone is soup-posed to laugh".
I dressed up as bacon for halloween.
To say the least, i was looking pretty CRISP.
What am I? A tea bag you dirty minded human...
Why isn’t there an organization like Chocoholics Anonymous?
Because nobody wants to quit.
What do you call a pickle lullaby?
A cucumber slumber number.
Some very good advice strawberries give to their children is to respect their elder-berries.
There’s a great new rock and roll cover artist doing the rounds at the moment – his name is Chuck Cherry.
I like my wine sweet and my humor dry.
Who answers the door at the peanut mansion?
The peanut butler.
What do prison tennis matches and strawberry jam have in common?
Cons-serve
What do all the onions decide to do over unfair wages? They decide to form a labor onion.
What do you call super expensive shoes?
Cashews.
What type of nut do you find in the toilet?
A pee-nut.
Why did the baker quit making donuts?
Because he was fed up with the hole business!
Where did the onion find his family history?
In the archives
How do you make Ohio State University cookies? Put them in a big Bowl and beat for 3 hours.
If you are wondering about the fuzziest character in the gaming world, well it is definitely Princess Peach.
Why did the lemon fail its driving test?
Because it kept peeling out
What is the national fruit of Afghanistan?
Talibanana.
Did you hear that they're trying to convict an orange?
It got wrapped up in appeal.
What eats nuts and bolts?
A squirrel that’s running late.
What is the favorite color of onions all around the world? Their favorite color is the o-neon.
How do you know you in "love" with spicy food? After getting to third basil.
What do you call one green onion that doesn't listen to anyone and is very naughty? It is called a rapscallion!
The only thing that looks like half a strawberry is the other half.
When the giant cannibals started to soak me in vinegar, I'd had enough.
"Why don't you pickle someone your own size?" I shouted.
What did the tortilla chip say to the guacamole?
“You are all I avo wanted.”
What is a monkey's favorite cookie? Chocolate chimp!
What nut is always begging for attention?
Pssst-tachios.