When the egg saw the pan, it was terri-fried.
How did Reese eat her ice cream? Witherspoon.
A lettuce farm was busted by the FDA on suspicion of combining plant and human DNA to create a new protein hybrid.
When they dug up the grounds the found human romaines.
Where's the best place to get information about eggs?
The hen-cyclopedia.
What are the four seasons?
Salt, Pepper, Sugar and Flour.
What did Gorgonzola say to Cheddar? Lookin' Sharp.
I love the smell of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies They smell just like burned toast
What did the hamburger coach tell his team after they lost the first round? “You have to keep frying, you can’t give up”.
Who is the corniest baseball player of all time?
Ty Cobb!
Cherry pie will set you back 10 dollars in Antigua, but 15 in Barbados. Yes, those are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
Why do watermelons take such a long time to make decisions?
“They’re always melon it over.”
Why did the citrus fruit join the military?
“Because it was a navel orange.”
Is beef soup good for our health? Not if you are the cow.
What do you get when you hghyphotocopy fruit?
Paper jam.
I had a salad pun, but I tossed it
Why was the bread actor so unhappy?
She lost out on a juicy roll.
What do you call two banana skins?
A pair of slippers.
I was walking past the store today when I saw a sign saying, "All items one-third off."
So I bought a dozen eggs. Unfortunately four of them were rotten.
Why did the Oreo go to the dentist? Because it lost its filling
My friend is always trying to make cows nervous. She's a fan of milkshakes.
Did you hear that the diet clinic was doing great business? They say that it’d really take your breadth away.
I met a girl that owned three french-fry factories. I was impressed but to her it was just small potatoes.
Vegetarians can't eat anything with beans in. They don't eat food with a pulse.
The jam bank went bankrupt because of the series of strobberies in the last quarter.
A strawberry feels most comfortable in its py-jam-as.
I mashed a few mangoes, pineapples, melons, strawberries, and grapes into a 🍲. Served the mash to guests visiting my place.
Called the dish, Mea Pulpa.
How do you get a mouse to smile?
Say cheese.
Why do baby seals swim in salt water? Cause pepper water makes them sneeze.
What do the ducks have for dinner? They have Quackers and soup.
What do you see at a funeral for a piece of fruit? Apple-bearer.
If fish is brain food, what do dumb people eat? Noodle soup.
Peaches tend to be really mean. After all, they have hearts of stone.
What is a cow's favorite deli meat? Bull-ogna!
What's a coffee's favorite karaoke song? Hit Me With your Best Shot.
The soup chef changed the design of his menu. He said his new favorite font is Times New Ramen.
What did the M&M go to college? Because he wanted to be a Smarty.
Excuse me waiter, I have a question about the house salad.
Does it come with window dressing?
I'm not saying you're old, but if you were milk I'd sniff you first.
What do you say to an avocado who’s done a good job?
“Bravocado!”
Never tell a taco a secret
It will spill the beans
Did you hear about the cheese failed to medal at the olympics? It fell at the final curdle
What do you get if you cross an apple with a shellfish? A crab apple !
What did the fruit bowl say when it saw Santa Claus come down the chimney? We wish you a cherry Christmas!
What did one maggot say to the other who was stuck in an apple? Worm your way out of that one, then!
Despite his puns being so orange-inal, nobody really likes them.
My brother turned into a vegetable.
I guess now he has fryngers and potatoes.
What kind of donuts can fly?
The plain ones.
You make me hap-pea, we're like two peas in a pod.
I had thought of a lot of good bread puns, but they seem to have gone a rye. I know the feeling.
I had a goat’s cheese pizza the other day.
He wasn’t happy.