Have you wondered what made the strawberry such a smoothie? It is the yoghurt of course.
Why was the chef surprised that anyone like her bread?
She thought it was crumby.
Did you hear what happened between the cook and the onion?
I think there was a fight. It got a little dicey and tears were shed.
Why did Wonder Woman rescue the Wine?
Because that's what grape lady superheroes do!
What do you call someone who’s crazy about corn?
A corn-ivore!
What do you call solid gold bananas? A bunch of money.
I hear you like wine, too. Grape minds think alike.
My best friend said we're like two peas in a pod. I'm confused, there's only one P in pod.
How is ice cream as a girlfriend?
The sweetest.
What is the best way to stop a pizza curling?
Hide its brush.
What do you do when a pickle wants to play cards?
Dill'em in.
The unripe strawberry wasn't added to the starting lineup of the game because he was too green.
What do you call an anthropomorphic animal blended in ice cream?
A McFurry
What kind of wine do they serve at the horse races?
Chardon-neigh!
What is yellow on the inside and green on the outside? A banana dressed up as a cucumber !
Q: Why was the fruit not selected for the singing competition?
A: He has a flat peach.
What did the pickle say to the lemon?
I relish our time together
Did you hear about the cheese failed to medal at the olympics? It fell at the final curdle
Which nut is the best at playing tag?
Catch-yous aka cashews.
What do fruit bowls say when they dress up as a ghost on Halloween? Be cherry afraid!
Do you know what the favourite soup of a ghost is? It is the Scream of Broccoli.
What do you get when you throw lettuce into the ocean?
I don't know lettuce sea.
What cheese surrounds a medieval castle? Moatzeralla
What’s that green head of something that is the main part of a salad?
Lettuce think about it.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
Our local butcher had to go to the doctor the other day. He didn’t know what was wrong, but said that he was feeling offal.
My herbs were looking a little scuffed, but when I went to go polish them, my friend was already getting ready to help me out. This made me upset, so I grabbed a sprig out of their hands and said
This is my thyme to shine.
What is a scarecrow’s favorite fruit?
Strawberries.
I had fresh coconut the last time I went to Hawaii. It’s a tough nut to crack.
Why did the strawberry get bruised? Because it was under pear pressure.
What vegetable did King Arthur pull from the stone?
Exparagus.
She drank so much coffee at work, she considered it part of her daily grind.
What do ghoul scouts hope to achieve by selling halloween cookies? They hope to make a good first impression.
The thing about milk-inspired puns is you only reach 2% of their potential.
I like European food so I decided to Russia over there because I was Hungary. After Czech'ing the menu I ordered Turkey. When I was Finnished I told the waiter 'Spain good but there is Norway I could eat another bite'.
When the little boy was baking a cake why did it run away? Because it said crack 2 eggs then beat it!
What do you call a lamb covered in chocolate? A Candy Baa. Did you hear about the love affair between Mr. Goodbar and Peppermint Patty? They had a baby, Ruth.
Why did the blonde throw her favorite doll on the grill? She thought it was a Barbie-Q.
What did man say to the guacamole?
Avocado crush on you.
What do you call it when you order the same donut every day?
A do-rut!
What did the nut tell itself before crossing the finish line? “I pe-can do it!”
What do you call a pear with loose morals?
A prostifruit.
What is the most affordable type of meat? Deer, it is always under a buck a pound.
What did the glass of wine say to the beer?
Nothing... They barley knew each other.
Why did the orange lose his job at the factory? He didn’t concentrate.
What rhymes with orange?
No, it doesn’t.
What did the salad lover say to his girlfriend?
You will Romaine in my heart forever.
What eats nuts and bolts?
A squirrel that’s running late.
What do you call two banana skins? A pair of slippers
I recently went to a soft fruit party, where all the food was berry based. It was cherrific.