They're not going to grow bananas any longer.
Apparently, they're long enough already.
What did the nut say when it caught on fire? Roast-nuts, almond fire!
My dad always used to tell me, "Never put all your eggs in one basket."
Which is probably why we lost the Easter egg hunt.
Strawberries are the most bullied of the fruits.
They're always getting picked on.
What's green and pecks on trees?
Woody Wood Pickle.
In the corn maze, I felt like I was being stalked. It was earie.
What do you get when you cross an apple with a Christmas tree? Pineapple.
Did you hear about the cheese failed to medal at the olympics? It fell at the final curdle
What do you call referential cheese?
Feta.
Boy: Oh I can't believe that Jesus is so sweet! Girl: Well that's because He's a life saver!
Saw a great offer on cheese in Tesco today!
It was buy one get one brie.
What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror ? Halloumi (Hello me)
Potato puns are a-peeling.
The pancake was quiet because it did not like to waffle.
They were building a meat tower next door.
The steaks just kept getting higher.
Why was the orange feeling sad?
It lost its zest for life.
This guy walks into the doctor's office with a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear.
The pot of coffee he just made is basically break fluid.
What is a scarecrow’s favorite fruit?
Strawberries.
When it started raining, I spotted a potato across the road pretty fast and I wondered what’s up? It wasn’t long before I saw a fork up ahead.
I tried to change my email password to “beef stew” the other day. It was refused because it was not stroganoff.
The bread baker won the girl over because he kept giving her a flour. How sweet!
What drink do you need to steal? Virgin-tea. Why do hipsters only drink iced tea? Because ice was water before it was cool.
How do you milk sheep ?
Release another iPhone.
What do you tell your friend after she breaks up with a cheese lover?
You’re cheddar off without him!
A strawberry's favorite place to visit is Jam-aica.
The soup was too spicy to be had by us. It was the borscht soup I had ever had.
The pineapple is pining for the summer.
When do you put paprika on eggs? Fry-Day.
How does white chocolate turn into dark chocolate?
Turn off the lights.
When is a vegetable also a nut?
When it’s a corn!
I’m chocolate to my appointment!
My mum makes the best soups. She is a real soup-erstar.
Apples are red. Grapes are blue. Pineapples are sweet. And so are you.
What candy is only for girls? HER-SHEy's Kisses!
What do you call an attractive, Jewish lemon with no worldly possessions?
An aesthetic ascetic acidic Hasidic.
What did the corn farmer give to his therapist?
An ear full.
the difference between a pizza and my pizza jokes?
My pizza jokes can’t be topped!
The other day I asked an Alaskan guy if he wanted to eat some seal meat.
He wasn’t really inuit
I squeezed a lemon on my wife's lap two hours ago...
She's been a sourpuss about it ever since.
What does a mommy cherry say to her children? I love you cherry much.
How do you describe a polite german lemon?
Bitte(r)
My wife asked me this morning "Do you want a bacon omelette?"
I said "No, I'd rather fry one."
Have you ever tried pineapple milk? Do you know where it comes from? Obviously from the pine – nipples!
Dog Joke: What do you call a Collie with a mango on it's back?
Mango Lassie.
What happened to the cherry that got married to an apple? They are living apple-y ever after.
What do you call a frozen frankfurter? A Chili dog.
Why did the birthday cake go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crumby!
How does the Skywalker family like their tea?
Lukewarm.
My girlfriend was seasoning the soup. I asked, "What spice is that?", and she replied "Sage".
I said, "Sounds wise".