Lettuce stop these governmental leeks.
Why did the orange go out with a prune? He couldn’t find a date.
Why do Jack-o-lanterns have silly smiles on their faces? You'd have a silly smile, too, if you had just had all your brains scooped out!
What do you call referential cheese?
Feta.
Why was Tony Soprano fat? Cause he thought getting a slice of the pie was a piece of cake.
My girlfriend said we aren't getting married until she has a pear shape
It's the reason we cantaloupe
What did one cherry say to the other cherry? If you weren't so tasty we wouldn't be in this jam.
The kindergarten kids were taught the alphabet and peach sounds at school.
Having pineapple on a pizza is quite like going down on a cousin: It might taste good, but something is not right.
A peach biologist was looking for a peach-tree-dish for his upcoming experiment.
The unripe strawberry wasn't added to the starting lineup of the game because he was too green.
People who use sleeping bags in the woods are soft tacos for bears.
What’s the best view you can get in our galaxy? A view of the milky way from mars.
Why doesn’t the squirrel accept cash or credit at his store? Because it only accepts cash.
If you eat too many cherries, you can sometimes end up with digestive issues. It really is the pits.
Where does a potato go to college? DeFry
I have been trying to write a new pizza joke…
But I can’t work out the delivery.
What do cannibals eat for dessert?
Chocolate covered aunts.
When you cross a train engine with a strawberry tart, you make a puff pastry.
Wine Connoisser Point to Ponder: Did Marilyn drink Merlot?
Why did the orange become juice?
It couldn't handle the pressure.
Why did the cookie monster rob the keebler elves? Because they had a lot of dough.
My friend exports the lilikoi fruit...
He says it’s his passion.
You should never give milk to someone who is open minded and hasn't yet had breakfast. They're lack-toast and tolerant.
What do you get from an Alaskan cow ? Ice Cream
Not only did I have a good time at Taco Bell
I had a Baja Blast
Is beef soup good for our health? Not if you are the cow.
A man walks into a bar with a fried egg on his head.
The bartender asks, "Why have you got a fried egg on your head?"
The man replies, "Because boiled eggs fall off."
Why didn't the two worms go into Noah's ark in an apple? Because everyone had to go in pairs !
Why was the ketchup feeling bad?
Because it had the squirts.
Why should you avoid discussing coffee around sensitive people?
It can lead to a really heated, strong debate.
When I got mugged on my way back from the greengrocers, I was peach-less!
Sheep have a clever way of keeping all their four feet warm in the winter; they wear muttons.
What did the annoyed peach say to the mango?
Man-go away!
What do pigs drive? Pigup trucks.
I had this disturbingly long dream that I was making a salad.
I was tossing all night.
Why shouldn't you shoot pool using a pickle?
Because you'll find the cue cumbersome.
How do you get a Minecraft themed party started? Let them eat cake.
I think I drank some expired milk. I just have a gut feeling.
Whats the difference between onions and girls?
I cry when I cut up onions.
What kind of cheese makes the best music?
Brieoncé.
Why does Satan not eat the bread part of the pizza?
Because he's the Anti-Crust!
What does a real cheese freak say when they come to your door?
“I’d like to talk to you about Cheesus.”
Are you a taco?
Cause you sure taco lot
How did that avocado baker make bread?
With avoca-dough.
What do you tell your friend after she breaks up with a cheese lover?
You’re cheddar off without him!
The baby strawberries were berry upset when they heard that both their parents were in the jam.
What made the baby cookie cry so loud? His mother was a wafer so long.
Cows love music. In fact, they even have a favourite note: beef flat.
I made a pie with a can of peas in. Pea-can pie. It didn't taste how I imagined.