Why did the ice cream truck break down? Because of the Rocky Road.
When shouldn't you drink a hot beverage? If it's not your cup of tea.
What do you get when you cross a human and a pear?
A pear-son.
Which tool does a peach biologist often use for its experiment? – A peachtree dish (Petri dish).
What do you call a womanising chocolate? A cad-bury.
What is ice cream’s favorite day of the week?
Sundae.
What do you call a socialite made of cheese?
Paris Stilton.
Dad fertilized the garden with corn starch.
The plot thickens.
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What do you call mountain climbing corn?
Mountain-ears.
What do you sing to cows on their birthdays?
Happy birthday to moo…
After I show a peach the way, it says: “I really ap-peach-iate your help!”
Did you see the movie about the hot dog? It was an Oscar Wiener.
Have you guys tried kangaroo beer?
It’s a little hoppy.
If you're in a food fight, always throw peas. We need to give peas a chance.
My milk found all these jokes to be pretty fun. He said they were a-moo-sing!
What are the longest lasting relationships in the fruit world? Orange-d marriages.
My love for you sprouts more and more everyday!
The squirrel’s chest got dirty with nuts, now it has a chest-nut.
Why should you avoid discussing coffee around sensitive people?
It can lead to a really heated, strong debate.
Last year, when I went to Texas, I met this very polite and gentle onion. Its name was the Texas supa-sweet onion.
"Is that a yay or cabernet?"
In Australia, they have a scary lemon dessert that keeps coming back.
They call it Boo-Meringue.
What did the hummus say to the pita bread when he got sick?
I falafel.
How far can a mango,
If he's got a license but doesn't avocado ?
What do you call a pastry that is a priest? A Holy Donut!
The nectarine academic is doing a Ph.D. in 'Peach and Language Psychology' from the University of Georgia.
My biology class was going on and on, and I was stuck in the middle of it. Well, you know, this is how it feels to be an on-i-on.
What did the street cheese say after he got attacked by several blades? I've felt grater.
Where did the garlic clove go to have a few drinks? The Salad Bar!
Where do the best kola nuts come from? Kolafornia.
What did ketchup say while spotting his friend at the gym?
Mustard all of your strength!
How do you know when a potato is high? When it looks baked!
Q: Why did the orange cross the road?
A: Because everyone thought he was a chicken.
Q: Why did the pea sell his car?
A: The back seat didn’t have enough legume.
Why did the principal bring Clam Chowder to school? For the Soup-erintendent.
How do you get a Minecraft themed party started? Let them eat cake.
hat’s the most sophisticated kind of bread?
The upper crust.
The sweet potato asked the other potato : “How are my eyes? ”
In the middle of the night yesterday, I dreamt that I was swimming in a sea of oranges only to wake up and realize that it was just a Fanta-sea.
Went to a German restaurant. The beer was fine,
But their sausage was the wurst!
What cut of meat do you get from an extremely tired butcher?
A filet mid-yawn
I keep thinking I'll make breakfast pancakes, but I end up waffling.
Did you hear about the scientist that studied nectarines? He won the Nobel Peach Prize.
I was very surprised to hear those insane rapping skills from my green onions. It had lived up to its name of rapscallion.
You shouldn’t put orange slices in your beer. Well, maybe once in a Blue Moon.
What is the chemical formula of the molecules in sweets? Carbon-holmium-cobalt-lanthanum-tellurium or CHoCoLaTe
I’m chocolate to my appointment!
Did you hear about the elusive skating watermelon thief? Not really, the only description they got was a Caucasian melon wheels.
I've just got my hand stuck in a jar of gherkins and I can't get it out.
I'm in a right pickle!
What happened to the zombie that made him visit the doctor? He had a crummy feeling.
How many grams of protein are in an apple pi? 3.14159265