When banana growers are heart broken, what do they sing? What else but Peelings?
In the last peach race, I put $30 peach way on two new racers.
So I was standing in the grocery store comparing the prices of a couple packs of hummus when my roommate came up to me and suggest the off brand roasted red pepper kind to which I replied:
"Ya, I'm not really sure about that brand. They seem to be very hit and hummus for me."
He was not impressed.
I thought of a new joke that started in a corn field.
But I'm not going to post it bc it's too corny.
To which tier of fruits and vegetables do onions belong? They belong to the teary.
What did four of the last five presidents drink? Left-Tea.
I'd tell you about a girl that eats nothing but vegetables,
but I'm sure you've herbivore.
What do elephants drink on vacation?
Peanut coladas.
What did the coffees say before their night out? Let's stir up some trouble.
Pumpkin Spice season is finally here, better latte than never.
What are the four seasons?
Salt, Pepper, Sugar and Flour.
Which vegetable is most likely to be your friend?
The broccoli.
A chap goes to see the doctor with salt on one ear and pepper on the other. The doctor says, “You need to start eating more sensibly”.
What do you get when you spice up date night? Netflix and Chilis.
What do you call a baby lion on lettuce?
Cub Salad.
What do you call the king of vegetables? Elvis Parsley.
Why can't chefs play baseball? They always get caught trying to steal a basil.
In some way, being a bowl of soup is like being a man. You are only blown when you are hot!
"I need to re-wine my life."
Someone who eats bananas must like them a whole bunch.
Excuse me waiter, I have a question about the house salad.
Does it come with window dressing?
Did you hear about the crab that went to the seafood disco? He pulled a muscle
What did the boy say when his mom made him prepare the corn for supper?
This shucks!
The sweet potato asked the other potato : “How are my eyes? ”
How does a robot eat it’s guacamole?
Microchips.
Where do you smart hot dogs go?… On the honor role.
What would you call someone who cheats others while selling milk? A skim artist.
I think I drank some expired milk. I just have a gut feeling.
My friend is always trying to make cows nervous. She's a fan of milkshakes.
What do teachers drink at school? Facul-Tea.
I went to see a beet poet the other day. There were lots of hip peas there.
I was hoping my friend would catch the lemon-lime soda i tossed her.
But unfortunately Sierra Mist
Did you hear about the sign on the bakery that got everyone talking? It said “I knead dough to live.”
How do you know when a potato is high? When it looks baked!
Knock knock!
Who’s there? Doughnut. Doughnut Who? Doughnut forget to close the door!
Why didn’t I believe what the cheese salesman told me?
It was too gouda to be true.
What’s a Biblical happening for nuts?
“The nut-tivity.“
Fruit puns intended
Does he avacado? Because If not you should let that mango.
Why did the lemon fail its driving test?
Because it kept peeling out
Did you hear about the secret guild of bakers? They say that they only trade recipes on a knead to know basis.
Why did the burglar break into the bakery? Because he heard the cakes were rich.
When the bread started crying because it was toast, the loaf told him, "You deserve butter."
Why do banana's do so well on the dating scene? Because they have Appeal!
What's the difference between England and a tea bag? The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
What do you call a watermelon that spends all day at the beauty spa? Must be a hottermmelon.
Tony, where do I even starch? I yam so happy we’re best spuds!
"Scone be a lot of fun. Wheat love for you to join us."
What is green and brown and crawls through the grass? A Girl Scout who has lost her cookie.
When I told my friend an onion pun, he started crying. I asked whether they were tears of happiness?
Astronauts can't open milk bottles in space. 'In space, no one can. Here, use cream'.