One strawberry said to the other, “Were it not that you were so sweet, you wouldn’t have ended up in this jam.”
Why do basketball players love cookies? Because they can dunk them!
Which vegetable is the most qualified?
Qualiflower.
What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven?
Angel food cake, of course!
"Another glass? Wine not?!"
What’s a pizza maker’s favorite song?
Slice, Slice Baby
Q: How do you call a magic berry?
A: Cherry Potter.
"I need to re-wine my life."
Where do bugs go to watch the big game? Apple-Bees.
What drink breaks the ice? Flirt-Tea. How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
"Darling, shall we buy some vegetables for tonight?"
"Yes, lettuce!"
What has 100 teeth and eats wieners? A zipper!
What’s the National Donut Day theme song?
“Donut Stop Believing.”
What is an elf's favorite kind of birthday cake? Shortcake!
What do you call a dog with a fever? A hot dog.
So apparently coles has a new thing where you can only have one salad per transaction
They’re calling it coleslaw..
Do you know what the common thing between a pineapple and a king is? Both of them wear a crown proudly on their top.
What did the nut say to his girlfriend at the pine-ic? “I am nuts about you, cashew see!”
Q: Why is a carrot orange and pointy?
A: Because if it was green and round, it would be a pea!
Why is a pineapple so attractive? Because it keeps its juices flowing.
What do you get when you fling salt in a tavern?
A barnacle (a.k.a. bar-na-cl).
What did the therapist say to the pineapple? Look on the bright side.
What do teapots wear to a tea party? A T-shirt.
Have you guys tried kangaroo beer?
It’s a little hoppy.
Q: What video games do fruits play?
A: Peach ball.
Why should you live a pineapple life? Because Life is sweet.
Be careful what you say in a corn maze. The walls have ears.
Why did the man go into the pizza business?
He wanted to make some dough.
I like to roll peas from the top of a mountain. I always start at the peak.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a chicken? The best bacon-and-eggs of your life.
Berries are the most fashionista of the fruits, they can really cherry off the wildest outfits.
How does a restaurant get the freshest ingredients? They cut a dill.
I used to sell loose onions
Until I got the sack
What is the chemical formula of the molecules in sweets? Carbon-holmium-cobalt-lanthanum-tellurium or CHoCoLaTe
Sorry kids - we won't be carving pumpkins this year... Sorry to squash your enthusiasm.
The unluckiest berry in the group is the one that drew the short straw-berry.
Why did the corn farmer go to jail?
He was stalking someone in a field.
What kind of nuts come in cans?
Creamed a-corn.
Have you ever wondered if illiterate people would get the full effects of alphabet soup?
Who’s an apple’s favorite relative?
Granny.
What do you call an emotionally unstable peanut? Peanut brittle
Why did the crazy man lose his job at the dairy factory? He was a danger to himself and udders.
What did the farmer say when someone complimented him on his corn harvest?
Aww, shucks!
The orange said to the melon, “You are one in a melon.” The melon replied, “You are so appealing.”
Back in the early 2010s, the peach children loved to flock around to listen to Peach Pit.
Why were the kids throwing flour and bread at their school? They wanted to rise to the occasion.
What's green and swims in the sea?
Moby Pickle.
What does a mommy cherry say to her children? I love you cherry much.
What's a cow's favorite moosical note? Beef-flat
The difference between popcorn and pea soup, is that you can pop corn, but you can't pea soup.