What do you call a strong pumpkin?
A Jacked-o-Lantern.
Why can't chefs play baseball? They always get caught trying to steal a basil.
In Australia, they have a scary lemon dessert that keeps coming back.
They call it Boo-Meringue.
The man on the table found hair in his soup. He said in rage "I will take the chef to soup-reme court".
Every December, I really like making an emulsion of egg yolks, melted butter and lemon juice.
So its guaranteed to be a Happy Hollandaise
What soup killed Rob Stark? Italian Wedding Massacre.
What do you call a pastry that is a priest?
A Holy Donut!
What do you get with surprise peas?
Wet legs
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cash.
Cash who?
No thanks, I prefer walnuts.
What do you call fraudulent milk? Cow-nterfeit.
If we played hot potato I’d lose, because I’d never let you go.
My girlfriend was seasoning the soup. I asked, "What spice is that?", and she replied "Sage".
I said, "Sounds wise".
What did one cherry say to the other cherry? If you weren't so tasty we wouldn't be in this jam.
Did you see the movie about the hot dog? It was an Oscar Wiener.
What does a man consider a seven-course meal? A hot dog and a six pack of beer.
What did the glass of wine say to the beer?
Nothing... They barley knew each other.
Why did the cow and the bull become so close? Because they became beef-friends.
After I show a peach the way, it says: “I really ap-peach-iate your help!”
I've been hitting the bottle pretty hard recently.
Still can't get the last of that ketchup out.
If that’s the case, would it be wrong to say that the unfaithful watermelon had an illegitimate daughtermelon?
Why did the cheese lover hide cheese in the back of his fridge?
In queso emergency.
What happens to a nervous nut?
It cracks.
Whenever I give my daughter cherries, she stuffs them in the chair
Now we call them chairries
Which vegetable is the most qualified?
Qualiflower.
Which mammal absolutely loves Merlot and Cabernet?
The Wineoceros.
My peach friend shaved for the first time the other day, he looks like a nectarine!
I hope for world peas.
What did the farmer yell out when ducks invaded his dairy farm? Cheese and crackers!
My friends say that I cannot cook alphabet soup for this dinner. And now they are eating their words.
I went to the store today and bought some really oddly shaped eggs.
Now I can't find them. I think they've been mislaid.
What is the cherry fruit's favorite American talkshow? The Cherry Springer Show of course!
How do you know when a potato is high? When it looks baked!
I went to watch a play and there were so many peach errors in the dialogues.
The pancake was quiet because it did not like to waffle.
Don't tell secrets in corn fields.
Too many ears around.
How does a restaurant get the freshest ingredients? They cut a dill.
Why do hens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they'd break.
I lost one pea from my plate at dinner the other day. It was an escape-pea.
What do you call an attractive, Jewish lemon with no worldly possessions?
An aesthetic ascetic acidic Hasidic.
I have to spill my guts, I love Halloween!
Strawberries love delicious food. Their favorite is Jam-balaya.
How does a cookie wish his friends for Christmas? I whisk you a merry Christmas.
Why does Britain like tea so much?
Because tea leaves.
"Cabernet. More like, caber-yay!"
Some cherry puns are just pit-i-ful.
How did Reese eat her soup? Witherspoon.
Who is a potato’s favorite author? Edgar Allen Poe-tato.
The pancake thought he was the best breakfast food because nobody stacked up to him.
Why did the cheese get in trouble?
It was up to no gouda.
What did the Mama Hot Dog say to the little frankfurter? Ketch-up!