What do the ducks have for dinner? They have Quackers and soup.
The pineapple is pining for the summer.
Which word can be used to describe a peach that is surprised, shocked, or angry with strong emotion? – Speachless!
What do you call a cup of leaf juice that doesn’t want to be a dad?
Absent-tea parent.
I can't stand Greek salads.
I like un-feta'd access to my greens.
Why did the coffee bean keep checking his watch? Because he was pressed for time.
This Halloween I'm gourd out of my mind!
The peach started acting all funny because it was really fuzzy.
Why did the giant use clouds to make pancakes? To make them light and fluffy.
If that’s the case, would it be wrong to say that the unfaithful watermelon had an illegitimate daughtermelon?
What do citrus fruits use to get dates?
Pickup limes.
Where does a pineapple and cucumber vacation? Somewhere tropical (tro-pickle).
If you are wondering about a peach's favorite game, it's peach ball.
What do you call a dog with a fever? A hot dog.
What do you call it when a taco stands in your way ?
An obs-taco
What kind of ice cream does Dracula eat?
Veinilla.
What did the two onions who were lovers say to each other before being separated? "Our love will forever go-nion on!"
What do you call someone who’s crazy about corn?
A corn-ivore!
What do we call a plumb pineapple? It is called a pineapple chunk!
Why does bread hate hot weather?
It just feels too toasty.
What do you call real bacon?
Genuswine
I’ve got a great idea for an automatic orange peeling machine I hope it bares fruit.
What’s the perfect gift for someone who is always raisin’ the bar? Oatmeal
raisin.
Where do cows go to celebrate New Years Eve? To a meat ball!
I’m opening a grocery store that specializes in Swiss cheese and donuts.
I’m calling it Hole Foods.
What does the watermelon say to its girlfriend on Valentine’s Day? – “You are one in a melon!”
What do you call a steak hurtling through space? A meat-ior!
It’s too bad the man couldn’t quit his job at the bakery. He really kneaded the dough.
My decision to become a Hindu was a missed steak
I was souper excited to hear some soup puns for the comic chef - but his performance did not excite miso much.
What’s a balanced diet like?
A slice of cake in each hand!
The only type of cookies a cookie monster loves to eat during Halloween is Ghoul Scout Cookies.
What did the nectarine boxer say to his opponent? "You want a peach of me?"
What is a Malaysian chocolate factory called?
Oompa Lumpur
What do you call a house that likes food? a Condoment!
I was making a salad the other day, and I thought I heard a small red vegetable that was a bit like an onion whispering. Must have been a hoarse radish.
Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock?
Because it was marble cake!
Did you hear about the farmer who sold his sheep to slaughter because he wasn't making enough money from the wool? The situation went from baa-d to wurst!
If your team loses the Souper Bowl, then be prepared for a lot of boouillons from your fans.
What do you give a dog with a fever? Mustard, it's the best thing for a hot dog.
Did you hear about the scientist that studied nectarines? He won the Nobel Peach Prize.
What do you get when you cross a pickle with an alligator?
A crocodill.
What am I? A tea bag you dirty minded human...
Last night I was kidnapped by Aliens. They forced to work providing teas and coffees on their spaceship.
I told one alien that I couldn't find any milk. He said "In space, no one can. Here, use cream."
What is the similarity between my wallet and an onion? Whenever I open both of them, I cry.
What became of the pig who got fired from his job? He became canned ham.
During the summer break, I enrolled myself in a peach coding course.
Most of the fruits usually drink their juice with a straw-berry.
"You are so bottlefull to me."
What do you call a half dozen wolves drinking beer?
A six pack.