Be careful! Theres a deadly fruit on the loose
He has 7 charges of armed Strawbbery.
I miss you! I’ll see you tater!
Do you know the hardest part about making skimmed milk? Having to throw the cows across the lake.
Ugh.. I ate too much hummus..
And now I filafel.
Did you know that milk is a very religious beverage? Most of them are pastor-ized.
When the egg saw the pan, it was terri-fried.
On Valentine's Day, the peach said to his wife, "You will always have a peach of my heart!"
Why did the thief steal a pig? Because he was a hamburglar.
Have you heard about the chocolate box thief? He’s always got a few Twix up his sleeve.
So, what do you do with an epileptic watermelon? Simple, you make a seizure salad.
An angry fruit yells at traffic in front of them
“Mango!”
What did the vegetables say to the Salad Dressing? Lettuce all smile.
What can a whole orange do that half an orange can never do?
“Look round!”
How do you sum up a cashew?
In a nutshell.
"I'll be right back, I need to go for a pea," said the fruit during the interval.
What is a ghost peppers favorite Leonardo Dicaprio film? Catch me if you Cayenne.
Where did the spinach go to have a few drinks? The Salad Bar!
Italians are so good at making coffee because they naturally like to espresso themselves.
The United Nations gave its members a basket of peaches on 21 September - the International Peach Day.
What do you call a pickle lullaby?
A cucumber slumber number.
What do you drink if you want to freshen your breath? Mint-Tea.
Did you hear that the diet clinic was doing great business? They say that it’d really take your breadth away.
What pizza do dogs eat?
Puperoni.
What does a pirate pay for his corn?
A buccaneer!
Why should you avoid discussing coffee around sensitive people?
It can lead to a really heated, strong debate.
Did you hear about the farmer who sold his sheep to slaughter because he wasn't making enough money from the wool? The situation went from baa-d to wurst!
I recently heard on the news that due to newly detected fungus infection in the onions, the government was recalling all the recent packages of the vegetables. Despite being a farmer, I had no tears to shed over this.
What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort
A mathematician walks into a bar and says, “One beer for me, and 10 beers each for all my friends!”
Bartender: "Now that’s an order of magnitude!"
How did the hotdog overcome his fear of ketchup? He mustered up the courage.
Why do workers at the dairy factory always need a charger? Their milk is stuck at 1%.
What are a submissive's favorite vegetables?
Collared greens.
What is a monkey's favorite cookie? Chocolate chimp!
What do you get when you drink milk
A moostache
Why was the baker in a serious panic? He thought that he was in a loaf or death situation.
What do you call one green onion that doesn't listen to anyone and is very naughty? It is called a rapscallion!
I know a pea that's a famous singer. He's a VIP.
just bought 5 slabs of San miguel, 10 sombreros and 25 tacos,
I'm Hispanic buying
How does bread woo a lover?
With lots of flours.
.
I’m not old. I’m aged to perfection. And full bodied.
What did the cherry say to the cherry pie? I really crust you.
Peas excuse how bad this pun is.
What do you call a pickle from the southern backwoods.
A hill-dilly.
What did the corn farmer give to his therapist?
An ear full.
A lemon says to an orange, “What are you up to?”
The orange replies, “Not much. Just hanging ‘round.”
What do dairy products say when they make a basketball shot? Colby!
The baker just felt this incredible knead to make bread. That’s certainly the truth.
Here’s another one; what about an otter who lives in an emptied out melon? An ottermelon.
Why is the strawberry loved dearly by everyone? Because it is berry sweet.
In North Korea, you can not throw fruits in the snow as they don't have the right to freeze peach