I had fresh coconut the last time I went to Hawaii. It’s a tough nut to crack.
What does a nosey pepper do? Gets Jalapeno business.
What‘s an Italian’s favorite tea?
Spagettea!
She'll take whatever beans necessary to get her daily cup of coffee. Whatever. Beans. Necessary.
A berry funny strawberry candy is called a Laffy taffy.
Why did the pig kill the farmer? To save his own bacon.
Why does your grandma like wine so much?
Because at her age, she needs glasses!
I tried looking up ice cream puns on the Internet...
But then my browser froze.
What do you call two peas in a pod?
Peepee
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? SpongeBob SquarePants!
Who is a potato’s favorite author? Edgar Allen Poe-tato.
The next person that asks me for pineapple juice, cranberry juice, lemonade, and a slice of orange all in the same glass is gonna get a “punch.
What do you call a fruit riding a motorcycle? – An Orange County Chopper.
Why is the pickle container always open?
Because it's ajar.
Don’t hang around booze hounds. They’re wine-y bitches.
What do you call a fat kid who likes chocolate milk?
An OvalTeen
What did the boss pig say to the pig worker for not working fast enough? “chop chop slow pork”.
Why did the man put the cake in the freezer? Because his wife told him to ice it!
The young loaf of bread ended up getting fired from his job because he kept loafing around. Poor guy.
My banana grandad got in an accident last year, he bruised like a peach!
"On cloud wine."
Boy: Oh I can't believe that Jesus is so sweet! Girl: Well that's because He's a life saver!
If Jim has 15 watermelons and throws one at Mary, what does Mary have?
“A really bad headache!”
Knock knock!
Who’s there? Doughnut. Doughnut Who? Doughnut forget to close the door!
Do librarians like white wine?
No, they like theirs well red!
Wife told me to grow a pear.
I did. It tasted delicious.
When the strawberry's favorite song came on, he exclaimed "That's my jam!"
Did you hear about the pick-up artist who only ever wears green leaves on his head? Yeah, he’s definitely a pineapple smoothie.
What do you call a punctual citrus fruit?
A Clockwork Orange.
If you are wondering about a peach's favorite game, it's peach ball.
What did the kid nut say to the other when playing tag? “I’m going to cashew”.
Why couldn't the teddy bear finish his dessert? Cause he was stuffed.
Who is the corniest baseball player of all time?
Ty Cobb!
I went to the store today and bought some really oddly shaped eggs.
Now I can't find them. I think they've been mislaid.
"Personally, I like people who peach on time, and are always punctual," said the strawberry.
What did ketchup say while spotting his friend at the gym?
Mustard all of your strength!
What do fruit bowls say when they dress up as a ghost on Halloween? Be cherry afraid!
What do ghoul scouts hope to achieve by selling halloween cookies? They hope to make a good first impression.
How do berries start off the fruity olympics? They cherry the Olympic torch around the globe.
Why didn't the unripe strawberry got any cards and chocolates for Valentine's Day? Because it was really sour.
What cookie makes you rich? A fortune cookie!
What drink brings you down to earth? Gravi-Tea.
What did the nut say to his girlfriend at the pine-ic? “I am nuts about you, cashew see!”
I saw a road sign the other day that said "Dip In Road"
I turned the corner and drove straight into a load of hummus
Why did the orange help the old lady cross the road?
To do a random act of rindness.
Shucking takes lots of corn-centration.
What do you call it when 13 preschoolers have just had their juice?
A Daycare's Buzzin'.
What day to eggs hate the most?
Fry-day.
A strawberry's favorite place to visit is Jam-aica.
Forget about watermelons, I heard having a windmelon your property is the best way to get clean and renewable electricity.