I always get pickle and chutney mixed up.
It makes me chuckle.
Egg-Plant a kiss on me.
An owner of a pizza shop has just been found dead covered with pineapple, ham, mushrooms, and pepperoni. Word is that he topped himself.
What is ice cream’s preferred breed of dog?
Dashchundae.
Dad fertilized the garden with corn starch.
The plot thickens.
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What do you call mountain climbing corn?
Mountain-ears.
A con artist tried to convince me he could ejaculate deli meat
What a load of bologna.
What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven? Angel food cake, of course!
What a spud muffin.
What do you get when an Elephant sits on an Orange?
Orange squash.
What do you call solid gold bananas? A bunch of money.
I’d like to tell a joke about salt but then said to myself: "Na."
What’s the best time to eat a peach while watching a NASCAR race? During the pit stop!
The hipster burnt his tongue. He sipped his coffee before it was cool.
What type of window do donuts prefer in their homes?
Double glazed.
Why does bread hate hot weather?
It just feels too toasty.
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad to see me?
What vegetable isnt allowed on cruise ships?
Leeks.
What do you call a pickle from the southern backwoods.
A hill-dilly.
"I make pour decisions."
Shucking takes lots of corn-centration.
I recently heard on the news that due to newly detected fungus infection in the onions, the government was recalling all the recent packages of the vegetables. Despite being a farmer, I had no tears to shed over this.
When I refused to have the soup, my sister said "People who do not have soup are stew-pid".
Did you hear about the guy who overdosed on curry powder? He went into a korma.
“Waiter, will my pizza be long?”
“No sir, it will be round!”
Everyone needs to eat bread because loaf is what makes the world go round. Loaf truly is.
Bad vegetable puns are dreadful.
It’s a truly rotten experience.
What is John Lennon's favorite donut? Strawberry' Filled Forever.'
What do you call an epileptic in a vegetable garden Seizure salad
They were building a meat tower next door.
The steaks just kept getting higher.
My son's has never really had much of an appetite.
But suddenly today he's eaten a dozen Kinder eggs whole.
He's full of surprises.
If you are a fan of alphabet soup, then you might also know times new ramen.
Q: Why did the fruit stop for some time while driving?
A: It wanted to make a quick pit-stop
What did the vegetable say at the party?
Lettuce turnip the beet!
Where’s a donut’s favorite vacation spot?
The Sahara dessert!
What did you just call me? Just because we’re Dark Chocolate does not give you the right to call us “Snickers”.That’s OUR word.
What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A blood orange.
The police have been interrogating the walnut for several mi-nuts now. It’s a tough nut to crack!
“My favorite color is tangerine- isn’t that orange-inal?”
What do you say if someone steps on a banana peel? Well I guess he didn't find that appealing!
Back in the early 2010s, the peach children loved to flock around to listen to Peach Pit.
If fish is brain food, what do dumb people eat? Noodle soup.
What did Yoda say when he turned a patron away for ordering a pie?
“Dough. Or doughnut. There is no pie.”
When strawberries, blueberries or blackberries meet another berry they like and want to get married who do they go see?
The marionberry
What do you call pears with no ears?
Deaf.
The strawberry was scared of the cream. They were afraid it had gone bad.
The two slices of bread decided to leave the bakery. I heard that they wanted to grow mold together.
"Let's get fizzical. Pass the prosecco."
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
Pumpkin Pi.
Are you a vegan?
'Cause I yam.
The pineapple is pining for the summer.