One day on the highway, I saw a packet of onions and cheese walking down the road. When I offered them a lift, they declined by saying that they were 'Walkers'.
Why didn't the two worms go into Noah's ark in an apple? Because everyone had to go in pairs !
Say this aloud: Eye Yam Stew Peed
Ever heard of French Donuts?
They’re the Beigne of my existence.
Why do workers at the dairy factory always need a charger? Their milk is stuck at 1%.
A berry funny strawberry candy is called a Laffy taffy.
It is really rare to find the most perfectly cooked steak.
What do you call a chicken with a piece of lettuce in its eye? Chicken Caesar Salad
Why didn't the corn chip advocate wear shoes?
They believed in Fritos.
What do you call a melon that commits a crime?
“A water-fellon!”
Q: Why are cherries never lonely?
A: Because they hang around in bunches.
Why did the elephant cross the road?
To get to the peanut.
When the peach pit farewell to his friend, he said, "See you later, peach out".
The watermelon plant didn’t like sharing a garden with passion vines; but they started to grow on him.
What do you call a depressed vegetable
Despairagus.
just bought 5 slabs of San miguel, 10 sombreros and 25 tacos,
I'm Hispanic buying
The IT peach-guy is an expert in the field of peach synthesis.
What's black, white, orange, and waddles? A penguin carrying a Jack-o-lantern.
Why did the corn farmer go to jail?
He was stalking someone in a field.
A strawberry's favorite celebrity is Mary Berry.
If you put your ear up to a Taco Shell
You can hear the Sí.
What do you call hot dogs in winter? Chilly dogs!
What do you call a dinosaur that drinks curry? A Mega-sore-arse.
Inviting cherries over for a drinks party is easy. Simply start your invitation with “You are cordially invited…”
In Australia, they have a scary lemon dessert that keeps coming back.
They call it Boo-Meringue.
What is the chemical formula for the molecules in candy? Carbon-Holmium-Cobalt-Lanthanum-Tellurium or CHoCoLaTe
What activity should you do when you’re babysitting little cheeses?
Build a roquefort.
How does Bob Marley like his donuts?
Wi’ jam in.
Hey you like cherry preserves ?
Never mind, its probably not your jam
What do you call referential cheese?
Feta.
The nut gave her boyfriend the kola shoulder for missing their date.
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef.
Strawberries are berry healthy. They pack a punch when it comes to beating cancer and other diseases.
How do you get a musician off your front porch?
Pay for the pizza.
What do you call a baker with a cold?
Coughee cake.
What do you call a pickle from the southern backwoods.
A hill-dilly.
Why was the salad late to the dinner party?
He was waiting for his wife to get dressing.
What does a good spice rack help you win? The Hunger Games.
What do you call a pickle that got run over on the road?
Road dill.
What do you call a very little cherry? Pit-iful.
So, what do you do with an epileptic watermelon? Simple, you make a seizure salad.
For our anniversary, I gave my girlfriend a picture of me inside a pistachio. But that’s just me in a nutshell.
My pet cow thinks she produces almond milk. She must be nuts.
Why does the yogi meditate under the citrus tree?
Because it’s a sub-lime spot.
Last year, when I went to Texas, I met this very polite and gentle onion. Its name was the Texas supa-sweet onion.
A farmer complained that he didn't have enough fruit to make a living.
I told him he needs to grow a pear.
Did you hear about the audio drama about peas?
It’s a pod-cast
Why did the giant use clouds to make pancakes? To make them light and fluffy.
I just had the most manly craft beer at my Israeli restaurant.
It was called He-Brew.
What should you drink before you workout? Sweat-Tea.