What day to eggs hate the most?
Fry-day.
Why did the banana go out with the prune? Because he couldn't find a date.
Tony, where do I even starch? I yam so happy we’re best spuds!
I must confess that I've started stealing vegetables from the local grocery...
I can't help it! I get to the store and I have to take a leek!
How do you know the French Onion is Canadian?
Because the oignon est!
Where did the milk write everything about her life? In her dairy.
When I got mugged on my way back from the greengrocers, I was peach-less!
The walnut was not good at sports but did really well with his macadamia at school.
Have you ever tried pineapple milk? Do you know where it comes from? Obviously from the pine – nipples!
What do you feed the son of god? Cheeses of Nazareth.
What's a pickle's life philosophy?
Never a dill moment.
What do you call a cake that likes heavy metal? Megadeth by Chocolate.
What do fruits do when they are really really afraid? They run away as fast as their legs can cherry them.
"Another glass? Wine not?!"
What's green and swims in the sea?
Moby Pickle.
I hear you like wine, too. Grape minds think alike.
Why was the potato put in an asylum? It was starch raving mad.
Potatoes have skin. I have skin. Ergo, I am a potato
I stopped eating pea soup. I gave it up for lentil.
What kind of cheese protects a castle?
Moat-zarella.
"Are you sure about this?"
"Crust me, I'm on a roll."
I saw a strawberry with a gun, robbing a man. I am guessing he was in a jam.
Patient: "Nurse im suffering from bacon disease!" Nurse: "Baloney"
"Here for the right riesling."
A cow usually prefers to eat moo-sli for breakfast.
The two loaves of bread could not wait to stare through the delivery room window. They wanted to see their new bun-dle of joy.
I saw a sign earlier that said, "Free Range Eggs."
I've never heard of Range Eggs before but at least they were free so I took some.
While leaving, the peach friend told his sad buddy, "If you need any help, just peach out, I will be there."
What did the tortilla chip say to the guacamole?
“You are all I avo wanted.”
My wife said I only eat white tasteless vegetables...
Well, not neciCelery.
I have so mushroom in my heart for you.
Q: How do two cherries make up after an argument?
A: They cherry the hatchet.
What is a potato’s life philosophy? I think, therefore I yam.
What's a pickle's favorite book?
To Dill A Mockingbird.
When it comes to seasonal drinks, more and more are converting to the church of pumpkin spice,
but I choose to remain eggnogstic.
What do all the onions decide to do over unfair wages? They decide to form a labor onion.
How do you defeat a meat-loving vampire? With a steak to the heart!
And speaking of meloncholy, I heard that’s what you get when you cross a watermelon and broccoli.
Did you hear the joke about the donut? Probably not, it was crummy!
What do you call leftover lettuce?
The romaines.
What do you call an oriental cheese? Parm-asian
An Native American drank 100 cups of tea.
Next day they found him dead in his tea pee.
If you coriander into my tomato soup, you will give me a soup-herb dish.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky!
Did you see the movie about the hot dog? It was an Oscar Wiener.
What is the smallest onion known as? It is known as an electronion.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite Village People song?
Nacho Man.
Me: "Alexa check my bank balance and tell me which apple product can I buy?"
Alexa- "Apple juice."
What did the cow say to his friend when they met twice in the same day? “What a cow-incidence!”
What do you get when you drink milk
A moostache