Strawberries love delicious food. Their favorite is Jam-balaya.
What is the difference between pea soup and roast beef? Everyone would roast beef.
What do you call juice with no ice in it?
Ju.
Why did the crazy man lose his job at the dairy factory? He was a danger to himself and udders.
What did the glass of wine say to the beer?
Nothing... They barley knew each other.
What was the main job of the bread truck? To haul buns.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky.
Why does your grandma like wine so much?
Because at her age, she needs glasses!
I cut a dill with this spicy mami, but at the last minute she ginger mind.
Why didn’t the pecan go to the ballet?
It was afraid of the nutcracker.
Did you hear about the salad race the other day?
The Lettuce was ahead, but the Tomato was ketchoping up...
Which is the most religious cheese? Swiss, because it is holy.
Where were the first orange trees planted?
“In Orange County.”
How do astronauts like to eat their ice cream?
Floats.
Last night I was kidnapped by Aliens. They forced to work providing teas and coffees on their spaceship.
I told one alien that I couldn't find any milk. He said "In space, no one can. Here, use cream."
What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese!
They asked how the watermelon farmer felt after winning the lottery; clever bugger said he felt like a melon bucks.
What happened to the cherry that got married to an apple? They are living apple-y ever after.
"Is that a yay or cabernet?"
I got canned from a Orange juice factory...
Just couldn't concentrate.
What does a cheese like to drink after a long day?
Morbier.
What’s a calendars favorite fruit?
Dates.
“How was your day? ” “It was a total disas-tater”
Did you hear about the scientist that studied nectarines? He won the Nobel Peach Prize.
The students were going nuts when they saw all the assignments due in the curri-kola-m.
What do you call a pear with loose morals?
A prostifruit.
Vampires love cookies too, they love No-stake cookies.
What do you call a pastry that is a priest? A Holy Donut!
How do eggs get around?
On a s-egg-way.
What kind of candy never arrives on time? Chocolate
I was gonna make a joke about Mediterranean food...
But hummus have missed the mark, and now I falafel.
I've got a really good vegetable pun.
I’d tell you but I’m worried you’d think it’s too corny.
What did the toast say to the psychic?
You bread my mind!
Topside, silverside and brisket tend to groan when they get up from their chairs. This is because they are achey joints.
What did the corn farmer give to his therapist?
An ear full.
I dressed up as bacon for halloween.
To say the least, i was looking pretty CRISP.
What did the tortilla chip say to the avocado?
“Well, this is guacward.”
If your doctor tells you to go on a low sodium diet, do you take his advise with a grain of salt?
Did you hear about the corn stalk that changed careers?
He went into a different field!
Why does Elton John HATE lettuce?
Becuase he's a ROCKET MAN...
I am going bananas. Thats what i say to my bananas before i leave the house
Did you know that bread that you make into buns is always relaxed? Yes, they just like to roll with it.
Why couldn’t the peanut finish the project?
Work came to a grinding halt.
Do not eat that alphabet soup, or you will have a vowel movement.
Why do donuts make terrible teachers?
They’re always glazing over the important stuff.
Why did the blonde throw her favorite doll on the grill? She thought it was a Barbie-Q.
Do you know what is the most favourite fruit in the United States? – Mmm peach!
I was going to tell you a joke about an egg but it's not all it's cracked up to be.
What do you call a baker with a cold?
Coughee cake.
What excuse did the late watermelon give his boss? He said be there in 5 boss, I’m just rind the corner.