Did you get a side of hummus?
It's a hummuside.
Did you see the movie about the hot dog? It was an Oscar Wiener
Inviting cherries over for a drinks party is easy. Simply start your invitation with “You are cordially invited…”
Yesterday I went to the store for only 2 items, a rising crust pizza and a strawberry cake. Fortunately they were relatively light, so bringing it home was a pizza cake!
Last night I dreamt I was swimming in a sea of oranges. I guess it was just a Fanta-sea!
Did you hear about the elusive skating watermelon thief? Not really, the only description they got was a Caucasian melon wheels.
When the unripe strawberry saw the ripe one, it was green with envy.
What did the salt say after it was pepper-sprayed?
That's nothing to sneeze at.
The two slices of bread decided to leave the bakery. I heard that they wanted to grow mold together.
Where's a pickle's favorite place to go in London?
Pickle-dilly Square.
The difference between popcorn and pea soup, is that you can pop corn, but you can't pea soup.
The orange juice industry is not doing very well.
Tomorrow they will give a special press release.
What do you call two banana skins? A pair of slippers
Dad Ordered Taco Bell
Asked how many Dillas come in their Ques 'a Dillas
My mother is so fastidious that she eats her alphabet soup in the alphabetical order.
Taco Bell overcooked my food
I asked for a brrrr-ito and an en-chill-ata.
Husband: "These pears a perfect right now."
Me: "Would you say they're 'pear-fect'?"
If you put ice cream on the nutty brownie, you’re serving it ala-mond.
What do you call a cow that has 2 legs? Side of beef
What did the cheese call himself after he got dumped?
Forever provolone.
What is a Malaysian chocolate factory called?
Oompa Lumpur
Keep calm and carrot on.
What did Shakespeare say as he was making a cheese plate?
To brie or not to brie.
Someone asked me recently why I don't put any ketchup or mustard on my hotdog
And I told them it's because I just wanna relish it.
Why do hens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they'd break.
What do you call a fruit that is rough around the edges? A bad apple.
How should you bury an onion?
... in a shallot grave!
When I took a break from having soup, my mom said "Carry on, why did you stoup?"
How do you defeat a meat-loving vampire? With a steak to the heart!
Did you see the award-winning movie about a hot dog? It was an Oscar wiener!
How are a car and a bicycle similar?
“You can’t make watermelon juice out of either of them.”
The only thing that looks like half a strawberry is the other half.
What do you call a dinosaur that drinks curry? A Mega-sore-arse.
What is the pineapple’s relationship status? Pineapply married.
"Giving you more reasons to wine."
What do you get when you cross Frosty with a baker?
Frosty the Dough-Man!
Where do you go to learn how to make ice cream?
Sundae school.
What did the father cantaloupe say to his son?
“Watermelon! (Water-my-lawn)”
What do horses like to put on their egg salad sandwiches?
MayoNAYS!
Did you hear about the ice cream that went to prison?
They got their just desserts.
What sandwich spread makes people itch?
Flea-nut butter.
Soup is only musical when it is piping hot.
What do you get if you cross a lemon with a dinosaur
Tyrannosourest Rex.
What do you call a talkative drink? Chai Tea.
When is a pumpkin not a pumpkin? When you drop it; then it's squash!
What did the cow say to his friend when they met twice in the same day? “What a cow-incidence!”
What is the name of the horse that a knight onion rides? They ride a scallion.
Potatoes have skin. I have skin. Ergo, I am a potato
Where do vegetables keep their money?
In the credit onion.
Did you hear about the crab that went to the seafood disco? He pulled a muscle