What do you get when if you cross a potato and the terminator?
A termitator.
If you eat too many cherries, you can sometimes end up with digestive issues. It really is the pits.
The chocolate couple decided to rent a two bedroom sweet for their summer honeymoon.
How are guys just like coffee?
The best ones are rich, hot, and can keep you up all night!
just witnessed a chicken try to pick up a piece of corn for 5 minutes,
ImPeck-able.
Where did Vegans come from?
Hummus Sapiens
Why does the jellybean go to school? Because he wants to become a smartie.
What are strange donuts made out of?
Weird-doughs.
A truck with an entire load of strawberries has crashed on the motorway. It's caused a real traffic jam.
What is the difference between a cow that produces normal milk and a cow that produces chocolate milk?
A mootation
I had no clue how much lettuce to buy, so I called my wife from the grocery store.
Turns out two heads are better than one.
What did the banana do when he saw a monkey? The banana split!
Why does the mushroom always get invited to pizza parties?
Because he’s such a fungi!
Knock Knock.
Who’s there? Donut. Donut who? Donut ask, it’s a secret!
It is a bad film because good ones tend to have created atop day-old soup.
A man went to his psychiatrist and complained that every time he drink coffee, he would get a stabbing pain in his right eye.
The psychiatrist said, “Well, have you tried taking the spoon out?”
Despite the pun being so orange-inal, it wasn’t all that funny.
What drink do goalies hate? Penal-tea.
Which Oiler great had a soft spot for Indian food? Jari Curry.
Kid: Dad, why don’t you approve of the consumption of dairy products?
Dad: Because I was raised lactose intolerant.
What do you call a pickle that got run over on the road?
Road dill.
What did one slice of bread say to the other before the race?
You’re toast!
Why will the fruits beat the vegetables?
They have a better punch!
My heart is like an onion...
I'm never getting a discount organ transplant again
Damn, look at that pizza! It's an over panchiever.
Strawberries love delicious food. Their favorite is Jam-balaya.
Did I invite you to the Barbecue?
Then why are you all up in my grill?
Do you know what is the most favourite fruit in the United States? – Mmm peach!
What do chemists make guacamole out of?
Avogadros.
What do you call a sweet onion? Caramelized!
Where do astronauts buy their milk? From the milky way!!!
Two peanuts were walking down the road but only one was attacked. They suspect the reason was the other was unsalted.
What did mutter say to paneer? Tu cheese badi hai mast mast.
How do you share a piece of cheese with a bear?
Caerphilly.
Why is corn popular around Halloween?
Because it’s so earie.
Be careful what you say in a corn maze. The walls have ears.
What is a basketball players favorite kind of cheese? Swish cheese!
Back in the early 2010s, the peach children loved to flock around to listen to Peach Pit.
Ciabatta stay away from me because I don’t want naan of that. That’s one way to tell someone to keep away.
The arrogant baker declared, “You’ll never hear a complaint about my doughnuts outside this shop window.”
The customer agreed, “It must be the double glazing.”
I've been on a real hummus kick lately, so as I came home from work tonight, my sister says to me "You're always bringing home hummus now." To which I replied, "Hummus where the heart is!"
Which religious figure does dairy products worship? Cheese-us!
Which tool does a peach biologist often use for its experiment? – A peachtree dish (Petri dish).
Why is peanut butter a bad secret keeper? Because it tends to spread it and not keep it.
Apple and orange were the only two left that evening. Everyone else had dates.
An immature pineapple is often worse than a mature currant.
What's green and pecks on trees?
Woody Wood Pickle.
What do you call corn that joins the army?
Kernel.
My brother gave me whole milk, but I can only have nut milk with my cereal. How dairy!
What do you call pears with no ears?
Deaf.