Did you see the award-winning movie about a hot dog? It was an Oscar wiener!
How do you make an apple puff? Chase it round the garden.
Why don’t these children eat their soup? Because all of them is stew-pid.
Q: What happened to the peach who went to meet the knife?
A: He came back in many peaches.
What did the hot dog bun say to the hot dog? Stop touching my buns!
Drinking tea while being too calm can kill you, did you know?
It's called a casual tea.
A restaurant server was fired on his first day of work for taking a woman’s salad.
He thought the manager said “seize her salad”.
What type of wine is notorious for making you drowsy?
Sauvign-yawn blanc!
Dad fertilized the garden with corn starch.
The plot thickens.
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What do you call mountain climbing corn?
Mountain-ears.
Why do bananas have to wear sunscreen?
Because they peel.
What did the horny woman say about her coffee?
That coffee’s not the only thing that’s hot and wet this morning.
Why did the hot dog turn down a chance to star in a major motion picture? None of the rolls (roles) were good enough.
What do you call a communist onion? You call it a red onion.
This kind of wine does not go right through you. Trust me, you will pee no noir.
What did the nut husband tell his wife? “Nut-ing lasts forever, except my love for you!”
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock Who’s there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn’t say banana?
Cherries are actually great at a lot of different sports. Their favorite one, in case you were wondering, is archerry.
Q: Why does the cherry have a hard time getting along with others?
A: It has crust issues.
How does Bob Marley like his donuts?
Wi’ jam in.
A pickle store is giving out their new tea-flavored pickles on the street today
I tried some and I guess they tasted quite a-tea-pickle.
A protestor threw a bunch of spices on Jason "Pink" London, but all it did was leave him "Saged and Confused".
What did the hamburger coach tell his team after they lost the first round? “You have to keep frying, you can’t give up”.
What do you call a Vegetarian with diarrhea? A Salad Shooter.
Party Host: Would you like to try some mulled wine?
Party Guest: I'll have to think it over...
Where should you call if you find a bad cheese shop?
The feta business bureau.
Cashier: Sir, would you like me to put your milk in a bag?
Dad: I would much rather keep it in the carton!
Lately my wife has been looking at me as if I'm a piece of meat....
And it wouldn't bother me, if she wasn't a vegan.
Did you hear about the potato that got its head chopped off? It was decap-potatoed.
Our daughter eats her corn one kernel at a time.
She's a unicorn.
What kind of keys do kids like to carry? Cookies!
What's green and got two wheels?
A motorpickle.
What do you call a talkative drink? Chai Tea.
What's a cow's favorite moosical note? Beef-flat
Are there any funny red wine puns at BabaMail Jokes?
You bet Shiraz there are!
Keep calm and carrot on.
If fish is brain food, what do dumb people eat? Noodle soup.
What is a ghost peppers favorite Leonardo Dicaprio film? Catch me if you Cayenne.
Why do wine lovers guzzle down vine humor?
Because wine jokes are a barrel of laughs.
I figured out a way to chop onions without crying...
The trick is avoiding getting emotionally attached to the onion.
I like European food so I decided to Russia over there because I was Hungary. After Czech'ing the menu I ordered Turkey. When I was Finnished I told the waiter 'Spain good but there is Norway I could eat another bite'.
How does a restaurant get the freshest ingredients? They cut a dill.
Which nut is the best at playing tag?
Catch-yous aka cashews.
Mandy: Our teacher went on a special banana diet. Andy: Did she lose weight? Mandy: No, but she sure could climb trees well!
What did baby clock ask mama clock? Where's father Thyme.
A strawberry screamed at the other, "Were it not that ripe, we wouldn't have ended up in this jam."
I don't know what happened, but the moment I brought the onion into the kitchen, everything got rejuvenated, and everything started feeling fresh! Guess this really is a spring onion.
Why did the strawberry get bruised? Because it was under pear pressure.
I can't get my wife to try Mediterranean food.
She doesn't like hummus, which is a naan-starter.
The strawberry was very good at racing because he was always juiced up before a race.
What do you call a chicken with a piece of lettuce in its eye? Chicken Caesar Salad