When the chef asked me how I would like my soup, I said "I would like minestrone".
What do you call a pig thats wrong? Mistaken bacon.
"On cloud wine."
What hotel do cheese lover’s stay in?
The Stilton.
I squeezed the innards of a pumpkin into a glass, and the result was just beautiful
In fact, it was gourdjuice.
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you going to let me in?.
What do we call the period in between eating a peach? – It is called a pit stop.
How busy was the donuts day? It was jam packed!
I went to an English camping party with some vegetables. We stayed in a tea-pea.
The cheap baker only paid his employees a flourly rate. Cheapskate!
I was sitting in the toilet at Taco Bell and it reminded me of my divorce.
It was extremely messy and involved a lot of paperwork.
What did the hummus say to the pita bread when he got sick?
I falafel.
Excuse me waiter, I have a question about the house salad.
Does it come with window dressing?
That cola syrup is made by squeezing a kola nut.
That was soda pressing.
What does an anteater like on its pizza?
Ant-chovies.
The bread actor was sad because he lost a juicy roll.
When everyone agreed with Hulk at breakfast that they love waffles more, he said, "Not all heroes wear crepes."
They say that the local baker is the breadwinner of his family. True enough.
It’s too bad that bread puns are always so crumby. Mmm . . . crumbs.
How do you know it's cold outside? When you milk a brown cow you get chocolate ice cream!
Every December, I really like making an emulsion of egg yolks, melted butter and lemon juice.
So its guaranteed to be a Happy Hollandaise
How did Reese eat her ice cream? Witherspoon.
What do you call a healthy dinosaur? Tea-Rex.
I love almond milk. It’s unlike any udder nut milk.
What is the healthiest fruit?
“An orange. It takes Vitamin See!”
I had thought of a lot of good bread puns, but they seem to have gone a rye. I know the feeling.
How many grams of protein are there in that slice of chocolate pie? 3.14159265.
What do you call a cow in a rooster costume? Roost beef.
My friend exports the lilikoi fruit...
He says it’s his passion.
"You focaccia bag, crumb back and get it."
"You can't sip with us."
What do you call it when Satan steals your guacamole?
Playing Devil’s Avocado.
What did the piece of Cheddar say to the ghost? I'm Lac-ghost intolerant
Why didn't the corn chip advocate wear shoes?
They believed in Fritos.
Why did the students eat their homework?
Because the teacher said that it was a piece of cake.
Do you know why a pineapple can be a good observer? Because it has a lot of eyes around its body.
The watermelon plant didn’t like sharing a garden with passion vines; but they started to grow on him.
Why did the cantaloupe jump into the pool?
“It wanted to be a watermelon.”
Why did the orange get pulled over while driving?
He kept peeling out.
What do you call an onion that is very valuable to jewelers? You call it a pearl onion.
Knock Knock
Who’s there Justin Justin who? Justin time to make the donuts!
A strawberry who is a thief is called a rob-berry
Grandma: Do you like Hummus? Me: I love Hummus....and I sometimes like to singus!
When you mix a salt and water, you get a solution. When you mix a salt and battery, what do you get?
Arrested.
What do you say to an avocado who’s done a good job?
“Bravocado!”
Why does every watermelon want to be in the Guinness book of records? Because there’s a lot of watermelon smashing to be done.
What are the longest lasting relationships in the fruit world? Orange-d marriages.
What would a peach say to its girlfriend or boyfriend? – “You will always have a peach of my heart, baby!”
Is an argument between two vegans, still called a beef?
Who were the first cheese lovers ever?
Edam and Eve.