Q: Why are cherries never lonely?
A: Because they hang around in bunches.
What did the glass of wine say to the beer?
Nothing... They barley knew each other.
How can you make a computer system cry? Delete his cookies.
What do two tomatoes do after not seeing each other for a long period of time?
They ketchup.
Knock Knock.
Who’s there? Donut. Donut who? Donut ask, it’s a secret!
What's a barista's favorite exercise at the gym? The French press.
What’s another name for a chess-nut? A nut who loves chess.
What do you call it when you order the same donut every day?
A do-rut!
When Berry the dog dug up the woman's strawberry patch, she angrily exclaimed "That is the final straw, Berry."
What do you call a serial killer watermelon? A slaughter melon.
I love you a tot!
My mom likes to feed everyone the soup she makes. She said it is her broth right.
Did you know there’s an app for corn growers?
It’s made in Sili-corn Valley!
Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake?
Because it’s too hard to put them on the bottom!
Why is it better to smell roses and lemons than a pile of poop?
It’s just plain common scents.
Strawberries have berry good eyesight because they are packed with a lot of Vitamin See.
Why don't they make ice cream from breast milk? It's an udderly bad idea!
The cheap baker only paid his employees a flourly rate. Cheapskate!
What kind of keys does a kid skeleton use on Halloween? Cook-keys.
There’s a hair in my wine. The grapes must have been fur-mented.
Thank you for helping me. Biscuit’s the yeast I could do.
What do you get when you drink milk
A moostache
The sweet potato asked the other potato : “How are my eyes? ”
So, what do you do with an epileptic watermelon? Simple, you make a seizure salad.
Which venue did all the vegetables choose to open their fighting club in? An onion ring!
What is a donut’s favorite day of the week?
Fry-day.
"Sip, sip hooray."
At the bar mitzvah ceremony, the Jewish onion greeted his uncle by saying 'Shallot'.
Which nut is the worst for your diet?
Donuts.
Lots of peas work as spies. Espea-onage is very common.
What is the best way to stop a pizza curling?
Hide its brush.
What do you call an attractive, Jewish lemon with no worldly possessions?
An aesthetic ascetic acidic Hasidic.
A strawberry feels most comfortable in its py-jam-as.
What do you call real bacon?
Genuswine
I tried looking up ice cream puns on the Internet...
But then my browser froze.
What do you call a pair of cornstalks that are best friends?
Ear buds!
What do you call a group of nuts? A nut
Vine Thought of the Day: Choosy moms choose wine!
What do you call young avocados?
Avokiddos.
When can a pizza marry a hot dog? After a very frank relationship.
All potato puns are pomme de terrible.
My best friend said we're like two peas in a pod. I'm confused, there's only one P in pod.
When the peanut eating diet patient gained weight he went to his doctor to complain. The doctor asked him what he had been eating. The patient said he was eating what his doctor recommended, a nut-rious diet.
Where do bugs go to watch the big game? Apple-Bees.
Why did the students eat their homework?
Because the teacher said that it was a piece of cake.
The tiny bag of flour got in trouble, so his mother sent him to bread early. He kneaded to be punished.
Happy Birthday to my best spud….get it? ? Spud…bud? ?
What's the difference between England and a tea bag? The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock?
Because it was marble cake!
Why did the two slices of bread disappear in the middle of the night? They wanted to e-loaf together.