What do you call a cherry that is hard as nails? Tough as old fruits.
What did baby corn say to Mama corn?
Where's Popcorn?
A skeleton walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a beer and a mop.
What do you call a pickle doctor?
A dill pusher.
What do you get when you cross an apple with a Christmas tree? Pineapple.
My dog is sad after eating her favorite fruit and getting wet from the juice.
She's a watered melancholy watermelon collie.
What do cherries write in love letters? I miss you cherry-bly.
Why do communist hate bacon?
Because it’s from capitalist pigs.
The peach sports organization rended a commercial peach for a game of peach ball.
Q: What’s red and invisible?
A: No cherries.
What do you call chick peas in a cavern?
Humus Sapiens
What do you call a dinosaur that drinks curry? A Mega-sore-arse.
What is an astronauts favorite chocolate? A marsbar!
What did the street cheese say after he got attacked by several blades? I've felt grater.
A cued peach visual communication system is used with people suffering from peach and hearing impairment.
What did one Jack-o-lantern say to the other? Cut it out!
I have pea soup for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. That’s why I pea soup all night!
What did the judge say at the finale of the meat throwing competition? The steaks have never been higher!
Everyday for lunch I like to eat two pears, and my dad knows this.
One day I saw him dropping two pears into a bunch of brown paper bags.
“What are you doing?” I asked him.
“Preparing.”
Q: Why are cherries never lonely?
A: Because they hang around in bunches.
What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck? Milk and Quackers!
What do you call a rifle that shoots salt?
A salt rifle.
What's the manliest fruit to eat?
Mango.
What do you call a pig that practices karate? A pork chop!”
What do you call a potato that’s reluctant to jump into boiling water? A hesi-tater.
I’m chocolate to my appointment!
He was showing off his new gaming gadget, "it has the latest peach recognition technology" he said.
Q: Why did the fruit go to the salon?
A: To peach her hair blonde.
The fruit stutters because it suffers from a peach impediment.
What is a walnut’s favorite Christmas play? The Nutcracker.
What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work!
Did you hear about the lemons that got sick?
They got lime disease.
My wife said that onions are the only vegetable that makes her cry
So I threw a pumpkin at her
I felt like telling you the joke about a strawberry jam on a piece of bread, but I won't. You might go around spreading it.
In the 1970s, hippies loved going to a Grateful Dead concert and getting toasted. That’s certainly the truth.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a cow? Roost beef!
I got some salt in my eye
Now it’s sea salt.
What did the expired milk say after being picked up way past its due date? It was well beyond their wildest creams.
What did the avocado say to the fork? “You guac my world.”
What did the salt say when the phosphate asked to bond with it?
"NaCl ater."
Why did the coffee bean keep checking his watch? Because he was pressed for time.
Where do connoisseurs lock up their best bottles?
In a wine cabernet.
What eats nuts and bolts?
A squirrel that’s running late.
Why did the donut go to the dentist? It needed a filling!"
What do you call a nut with a hairy upper lip?
A mustach-io
A friend asked what an acorn is. I said, “In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.”
Have you heard of the new squirrel diet?
“It’s just nuts.”
Strawberries are great musicians because they make perfect jam sessions.
Do you know what the common thing between a pineapple and a king is? Both of them wear a crown proudly on their top.
What cookie makes you rich? A fortune cookie!