If mom leaves her alphabet soup on the stove and forgets about it, it would spell disaster.
The spoiled milk always got what it wanted.
I was going to tell you a joke about an egg but it's not all it's cracked up to be.
What do you call an emotionally unstable peanut? Peanut brittle
Whats the name of the movie about Bacon? Frankenswine, or you can go see Hamlet.
Have you wondered what made the strawberry such a smoothie? It is the yoghurt of course.
The onion husband and wife had a fight, and she told him that he shouldn't have exposed all his layers because it was making her cry.
I had a goat’s cheese pizza the other day.
He wasn’t happy.
What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
A candy baa.
The other day I asked an Alaskan guy if he wanted to eat some seal meat.
He wasn’t really inuit
What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair? Chocolate Chip Wookiee.
And speaking of meloncholy, I heard that’s what you get when you cross a watermelon and broccoli.
I told my kids that ketchup can go on anything.
You know, It’s the least condiment denominator.
What do oranges like to listen to?
Musical com-peel-ations.
Q: What anime series do fruits like to watch?
A: One peach.
Q: Why can’t oranges be pirates?
A: They don’t get scurvy.
"Stop and smell the rosé."
What do we call two thousand pounds of Chinese soup? It is called won – ton!
What is a cow's favorite deli meat? Bull-ogna!
Why did the blonde stare at the carton of orange juice? It said concentrate.
Why shouldn’t you tell a secret on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears.
The soup was busy and preoccupied. He was stewing over something his friend said.
What did an angry donut say to his wife?
Donut talk to me.
My doctor recommended exercise to slim down as well as some orange juice for vitamins
It’s the weight and C approach I guess.
I keep thinking I'll make breakfast pancakes, but I end up waffling.
What is a vampire's favorite fruit?
A blood orange.
If you eat too many cherries, you can sometimes end up with digestive issues. It really is the pits.
Oranges rarely pass driving tests, this is because they keep on peeling out.
Walnuts are hard to crack open. It can take several mi-nuts.
Some cherry puns are just pit-i-ful.
My dad always used to tell me, "Never put all your eggs in one basket."
Which is probably why we lost the Easter egg hunt.
I was souper excited to hear some soup puns for the comic chef - but his performance did not excite miso much.
What did the cheese call himself after he got dumped?
Forever provolone.
Why did the students eat their homework? Because the teacher said that it was a piece of cake.
What's a nervous person's favorite drink?
Insecuri tea!
Ran out of toilet paper today. We’re now using lettuce leaves.
Today was just the tip of the iceberg. Tomorrow romaines to be seen.
What is a cow's favorite lunch meat? Bullogna
What did Einstein say when someone tried to steal his beer?
Nein! Mine Stein!
What did Katy Perry drink when she was little? Bust-Tea.
Q: What do you call two peas in a pod?
A: Peepee.
Why was the peanut butter upset at his retirement party?
He was roasted.
Dad fertilized the garden with corn starch.
The plot thickens.
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What do you call mountain climbing corn?
Mountain-ears.
What do you say when a fruit wins the talent show? How about them apples?
What is the opposite of Chocolate? Chocoearly.
"Let's get fizzical. Pass the prosecco."
How do astronauts like to eat their ice cream?
Floats.
The hotdog severely fell behind in school which is why he has to ketchup.
I saw a strawberry with a gun, robbing a man. I am guessing he was in a jam.
Be careful what you say in a corn maze. The walls have ears.
Why did the blonde buy a brown cow? To get chocolate milk.