Why did the corn stalks hold a ceremony in honor of the scarecrow?
To corn-gratulate him for being out standing in their field!
How do you kill a salad? You go for the carrot-id artery.
What do sophisticated fish drink? Salt-Tea.
Apples are red. Grapes are blue. Pineapples are sweet. And so are you.
There was an announcement on the news the other day, we've finally achieved world peas.
what does a female corn do when she likes a male corn?
she corn-fesses.
I just watched someone try to steal a pumpkin from a bull.
He got gourd.
How does the serial killer like his coffee?
How he likes his women—all ground up.
What is a cow's favorite lunch meat? Bullogna
And speaking of meloncholy, I heard that’s what you get when you cross a watermelon and broccoli.
What do fruit bowls say when they dress up as a ghost on Halloween? Be cherry afraid!
My milk found all these jokes to be pretty fun. He said they were a-moo-sing!
What do you call a lazy spud? A couch potato.
Why did the Oreo go to the dentist? Because it lost its filling.
Q: Why was the fruit not selected for the singing competition?
A: He has a flat peach.
My pet cow thinks she produces almond milk. She must be nuts.
I’m zesting a lemon for a recipe right now
It’s really appealing
What do you call an onion that keeps on jumping up and down? You call it a spring onion!
My sister thinks that she is so intelligent. She says onion is the only food which makes her cry. That is the reason why I threw a pineapple at her face.
What did one bread lover say to the other?
Before I break down and rye, I want you to know that I loaf you.
Peas excuse how bad this pun is.
People say nothing rhymes with orange. It seems very strange to me.
American cherries generally do pretty well at high school. Many of them end up on the cherryleading squad.
Where does Thor grow his vegetables?
In his Asgarden.
I was gonna make a joke about Mediterranean food...
But hummus have missed the mark, and now I falafel.
Where did the nut keep his money?
In his cash shoe.
Talking at the local chocolate factory is frowned on. When I’m there, I need to wispa.
Do you know what you call it when you place beef between two slices of bread? You get a bull-only sandwich.
Do you know what is the most favourite fruit in the United States? – Mmm peach!
Join us and let’s make pizza cheese grate again.
I saw a joke about chocolate bars but it wasn’t that funny So I just snickered.
Why did Wonder Woman rescue the Wine?
Because that's what grape lady superheroes do!
What’s a milk’s favorite fruit? Cow-conuts.
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping onions which made me cry
Onions was a good dog
What does a real cheese freak say when they come to your door?
“I’d like to talk to you about Cheesus.”
What does an onion say when you are upset because of it one day? It says, "I am sorry that I made you cry!"
When the baby onion died just after being born, the doctors classified it as an o-neonatal death.
What does a nosey pepper do? Gets Jalapeno business.
I'm not saying you're old, but if you were milk I'd sniff you first.
"I just want some peach and quiet!," said the orange.
Mom, what do we have for dinner? I cannot tell you, son, it is a soup-rise! Is it soup? I soup-pose it would be.
You spilled your entire cup of coffee? What's sumatra with you?
What is the wealthiest nut ever?
“A cashooo.”
What do two tomatoes do after not seeing each other for a long period of time?
They ketchup.
Did you hear about the guy who put little G.I. Joe soldiers at the bottom of his coffee cup?
He’d heard that the best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup!
Where do squirrels go for fun?
The acorn-ival.
I work in security, and i want to get a pumpkin for my desk
It shall be a security gourd.
Donut even think about taking another donut!
What did one cheese say to the other during philosophy class?
“I dis a brie.”
The strawberry went out with the grape only because he couldn't find a date.