This corn is a little rough to the touch. Looks like a job for Kernel Sanders.
What drink breaks the ice? Flirt-Tea. How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
Why does a little cherry always look up to its parents? It tries to follow in their fruitsteps.
In the 1970s, hippies loved going to a Grateful Dead concert and getting toasted. That’s certainly the truth.
Sir, did you realize the consequences of naming your son Taco Cheese?
"No, but I have grate expectations."
Why don’t cows drink artificial milk? It’s too pow-dairy.
What did the man say after his boss threw cheese, milk, and creamer in his face? How dairy!
A major produce organization is reeling after multiple reports of tainted lettuce.
We may soon witness the falling of the Romaine Empire.
What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort.
I came across a man who was eating strawberries at the bank. He told me he wanted to eat rich food.
Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock? Because it was marble cake!
What is a cheese lover’s favorite rap artist?
Feta wap.
I've just invented a new Canadian beer
It's a form of I.P.Eh
Have a s-mash-ing birthday!
What’s the best part of a cow? The topside, of course.
Why is the strawberry loved dearly by everyone? Because it is berry sweet.
What does a piece of cheese tell you during a game of tag?
Cheez it.
What did the oreo cookie say to his filling? You’re my butter half.
What did the daddy potato say to his son before his soccer game? I’m rooting for you!
I've just been to court accused of sniffing the skins of vegetables and fruits.
I got off on a peel.
Hap-pea-ness is when you and your friend are like two peas in a pod.
Was your guacamole salad good?
Yes, it was avocado this world.
What did the boss say to his pizza during their meeting?
There’s mushroom for improvement.
The two slices of bread decided to leave the bakery. I heard that they wanted to grow mold together.
What did the newspaper say to the ice cream? What's the scoop
My wife was trying to feed our son a pear, and he was refusing.
I said, Good news. Our son is immune to pear pressure.
My girlfriend said we aren't getting married until she has a pear shape
It's the reason we cantaloupe
Having chicken broth before the game was a sure shot way to maintain energy for the Soup-er Bowl.
I recently read a book by an onion which had opened up on its life. Midway through the book, I started crying.
What do you drink if you want to freshen your breath? Mint-Tea.
What did Gorgonzola say to Cheddar? Lookin' Sharp.
That cola syrup is made by squeezing a kola nut.
That was soda pressing.
How do you know your eating rabbit soup? When there's a hare in it.
"Is that a yay or cabernet?"
Why does the mushroom always get invited to pizza parties?
Because he’s such a fungi!
The late actor Sir Sean Connery was a big fan of the onion because well, he usshed to love them shh-allot.
Why does Mr. Potato Head have a mobile?
In case Mr. Onion rings.
“How was your day? ” “It was tater-ible”
How do you catch King Kong? Hang upside down and make a noise like a banana.
Why do bacon lettuce and tomatoes have the lowest IQ out of all the foods?
Because they're in-bred.
Why did the potato wear socks?
To keep his pota-toes warm.
I hear Jake finally broke up with his crazy grocer girlfriend; never could tell water problem was.
What do you call the guy who chooses a suitable fortified Spanish wine?
A Sherry Picker.
What happens if a cashew falls down your shirt?
It becomes a chestnut.
At the bar mitzvah ceremony, the Jewish onion greeted his uncle by saying 'Shallot'.
What type of window do donuts prefer in their homes?
Double glazed.
What did the cherry say when it won its third Olympic gold medal? That's just the cherry on top of a successful career.
What is a ghosts favorite soup? Scream of Broccoli.
What is a pizza’s favorite movie?
Pie hard.
What do you call a barking pumpkin?
A gourd dog.