I mashed a few mangoes, pineapples, melons, strawberries, and grapes into a 🍲. Served the mash to guests visiting my place.
Called the dish, Mea Pulpa.
What was the main job of the bread truck? To haul buns.
I'd tell you about a girl that eats nothing but vegetables,
but I'm sure you've herbivore.
Why did the police arrest the milk after it was poured into a bowl of Fruit Loops? They witnessed him drown them. They knew he must be a cereal killer!
I’ve got a great idea for an automatic orange peeling machine I hope it bares fruit.
Someone asked me recently why I don't put any ketchup or mustard on my hotdog
And I told them it's because I just wanna relish it.
A crayon that looks like a strawberry is usually called a cranberry.
What did the cow say to his friend when they met twice in the same day? “What a cow-incidence!”
What do you get if you cross a jogger with an apple pie ? Puff pastry !
Why are pickles in sandwiches always so polite?
They're well-bread.
What do you call a nut on a Wheelchair?
“A busted nut.”
The guilty conscience of stealing and consuming a whole peach is getting to me. I feel like there's a pit in my gut.
What do teachers drink at school? Facul-Tea.
Worried about overcooking your onion?
Don't sweat it.
Because the platypus both lays eggs and produces milk,
It is one of the few animals that can make its own custard.
How can you tell if you are in love?
If they stole a pizza your heart.
My friend was totally addicted to the cold meat section in our local supermarket. It got so bad, they had to quit cold turkey.
What happens if a cashew falls down your shirt?
It becomes a chestnut.
Have you seen that film about the onion that turns into a spider?
It's called Shallot's Web
Gluten-free, dairy-free, fat-free – I love this new Champagne Diet!
If you get an email about pork salt and fat, don't open it.
It's Spam.
What did the vicar use for his vegetable patch?
Lettuce spray.
What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror ? Halloumi (Hello me)
What did the pastry chef say when a banana cream pie he made completely satisfies a tyrannical ruler?
It hit despot.
I can't get my wife to try Mediterranean food.
She doesn't like hummus, which is a naan-starter.
What did the priest say before he and his family ate their salad?
Lettuce pray.
What’s the best time to eat a peach while watching a NASCAR race? During the pit stop!
I went to my fridge to get some lettuce for my salad
But there was none Romaine-ing.
What do you call 2000 pounds of Chinese soup? Won Ton.
Onions have had a long process in the evolutionary chain. They have evolved into today's onions from onionderthals.
What do you get when you cross an orange with a parrot? A carrot.
What goes in dry and comes out wet. The longer I'm in, the stronger I get.
Where do bugs go to watch the big game? Apple-Bees.
What happens to Germans when they eat too many lemons?
They become sour krauts.
Why was the burger sad? Because he had the blue cheese.
What did the annoyed peach say to the mango?
Man-go away!
How do you know your eating rabbit soup? When there's a hare in it.
What do you call a person who spends a lot of time sitting and staring at potatoes? A medi-tator.
What’s a good way to start a conversation with a cheese plate on Tinder?
“Hello. Is it brie you’re looking for?”
My mom is really soup-rised at the outcome when she puts yeast in the broth.
Q: Why wouldn’t the teacher bring the class to the green pea farm?
A: It was in a seedy part of town.
The walnut was not good at sports but did really well with his macadamia at school.
A lorry load of pears has crashed on the motorway. It’s caused a huge jam.
When is the peanut butter due to arrive?
In a Jif.
The pancake thought he was the best breakfast food because nobody stacked up to him.
How do monkeys get down the stairs? They slide down the banana-ster!
“Waiter, will my pizza be long?”
“No sir, it will be round!”
Why did the banana go out with a lemon?
Because it couldn't find a date!
People who use sleeping bags in the woods are soft tacos for bears.
What do you call it when you walk into a coffee shop and feel like you've been there before? Déja-brew.