What kind of cheese do rodents like? Mousearella.
What did you just call me? Just because we’re Dark Chocolate does not give you the right to call us “Snickers”.That’s OUR word.
What is the hippest kind of fruit? A bae-nae-nae.
Have you ever wondered if illiterate people would get the full effects of alphabet soup?
I burnt my Hawaiian pizza.
I should have used aloha temperature.
Sometimes a pea starts acting like a diva. We call them a pea-Madonna.
Dad Ordered Taco Bell
Asked how many Dillas come in their Ques 'a Dillas
I tried calling my fruit friend thrice, but could not peach him, as his phone was out of peach.
What does a cat lady say on Friday night?
I am drinking wine and feline fine!
What do teachers drink at school? Facul-Tea.
The national news did a story on my friend's bumper crop of green citrus fruits.
He loves being in the limelight.
Which vegetable is most likely to be your friend?
The broccoli.
Knock knock!
Who’s there? Doughnut. Doughnut Who? Doughnut forget to close the door!
Nobody would ask the strawberry to go to the prom because it was past her sale by date.
They asked how the watermelon farmer felt after winning the lottery; clever bugger said he felt like a melon bucks.
If I buy you guacamole, will you sleep with me?
You must think I’m some kind of avocad-ho.
What do you call a very feminine cow that likes to be in charge? The Dairy Queen.
My dad always used to tell me, "Never put all your eggs in one basket."
Which is probably why we lost the Easter egg hunt.
What do you call the greatest cheese to every live on the earth? Legen-dairy!
What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort.
What did the ice cream cone write on his valentine card?
You make me melt.
Cherries are actually great at a lot of different sports. Their favorite one, in case you were wondering, is archerry.
Why did the banana go to the hairdressers? Because it had split ends!
When potato chips don’t sell fast enough, the maker knows it will soon be crunch time.
Q: What do vegetables wish for, more than anything else in the whole world?
A: Peas on earth!
What do they say when you leave the cheese store?
Have a gouda day!
What did the artichoke say to the man eating a salad? Have a heart.
What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
A candy baa.
My mum made a chocolate bar out of peas. I asked if she could snap a peas off for me.
What did the piece of Cheddar say to the ghost? I'm Lac-ghost intolerant
Why did the corn stalks hold a ceremony in honor of the scarecrow?
To corn-gratulate him for being out standing in their field!
How do you kill a salad? You go for the carrot-id artery.
What do sophisticated fish drink? Salt-Tea.
Apples are red. Grapes are blue. Pineapples are sweet. And so are you.
There was an announcement on the news the other day, we've finally achieved world peas.
what does a female corn do when she likes a male corn?
she corn-fesses.
I just watched someone try to steal a pumpkin from a bull.
He got gourd.
How does the serial killer like his coffee?
How he likes his women—all ground up.
What is a cow's favorite lunch meat? Bullogna
And speaking of meloncholy, I heard that’s what you get when you cross a watermelon and broccoli.
What do fruit bowls say when they dress up as a ghost on Halloween? Be cherry afraid!
My milk found all these jokes to be pretty fun. He said they were a-moo-sing!
What do you call a lazy spud? A couch potato.
Why did the Oreo go to the dentist? Because it lost its filling.
Q: Why was the fruit not selected for the singing competition?
A: He has a flat peach.
My pet cow thinks she produces almond milk. She must be nuts.
I’m zesting a lemon for a recipe right now
It’s really appealing
What do you call an onion that keeps on jumping up and down? You call it a spring onion!
My sister thinks that she is so intelligent. She says onion is the only food which makes her cry. That is the reason why I threw a pineapple at her face.
What did one bread lover say to the other?
Before I break down and rye, I want you to know that I loaf you.