On Mother's Day we went strawberry picking and made a jam from the fruits of our labor.
What do you call an oriental cheese? Parm-asian
Where did the garlic clove go to have a few drinks? The Salad Bar!
Where did the nut keep his money?
In his cash shoe.
What did the kid nut say to the other when playing tag? “I’m going to cashew”.
What did the Cheese salesman say? That cheese may be Gouda, but this one is Feta!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Butter.
Butter who?
I butter nut tell you.
Why did Eve want to leave the garden of Eden and move to New York ? She fell for the Big Apple !
What do chickens serve at birthday parties?
Coop-cakes!
What did the egg do when it saw the frying pan?
It scrambled.
What did the fans say to the band named after a famous chickpea spread?
Hummus a tune.
What do you call a metalhead working at Cold Stone? Alice Scooper.
Why does every watermelon want to be in the Guinness book of records? Because there’s a lot of watermelon smashing to be done.
What did the Soup Nazi say to the canine? What Soup Dawg.
What happened to the lost beef shipment? Nobody's herd.
What is a cowboy’s favorite tree?
A horse chestnut tree.
The pancake was quiet because it did not like to waffle.
What kind of salad do termites eat?
House salad
There was a stampede out on the dairy farm. It was udder chaos.
What is a monkey’s favourite cookie?
Chocolate Chimp!
Where does wine catch up on all the vineyard dirt?
Through the grapevine.
What do you call a rapper working at Cold Stone? Scoop Dogg.
Me: "Alexa check my bank balance and tell me which apple product can I buy?"
Alexa- "Apple juice."
What do you give a dog with a fever? Mustard, it's the best thing for a hot dog.
What do you drink if you want to freshen your breath? Mint-Tea.
What if someone made raisins with juice in them
That would be grape.
Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato?
The lettuce was ahead while the tomato tried to ketchup.
Why did the monkey like the banana? Because it had appeal!
What kind of fruit salad is most resistant to sunburn?
The kind with extra melon in.
Who does the nectarine just do a hair transplant? Because it wants to become a peach.
A turkey's favorite dessert is a strawberry gobbler.
Where does Thor grow his vegetables?
In his Asgarden.
Why will you never meet an ice cream workaholic?
They know how to chill out.
Did you hear about the crab that went to the seafood disco? He pulled a muscle
This pizza party is the perfect topping to a great summer.
Teacher: What are the seasons? Student: Salt, pepper, ginger...
What did the nectarine boxer say to his opponent? "You want a peach of me?"
I have to spill my guts, I love Halloween!
Why did the hen lay her egg on the axe?
She wanted to hatchet.
Do not eat that alphabet soup, or you will have a vowel movement.
What do you call an apple that's been around the world? Johnny Appleseed.
What do fruit wear when they go swimming? A one-peach bathing suit.
What do you call a dog with a fever? A hot dog.
Why did the coffee call the police? Because it was mugged.
What did baby clock ask mama clock? Where's father Thyme.
I can't stand Greek salads.
I like un-feta'd access to my greens.
What did the Mexican wrestler say after he ate a taco that was too spicy?
“It’s okay, I’ll just guac it off”
Why did the elephant cross the road?
To get to the peanut.
What do you call pears with no ears?
Deaf.
What did the tortilla chip say to the guacamole?
“You are all I avo wanted.”