How did the egg get up the hill?
It scrambled up.
Peas excuse how bad this pun is.
"Great minds drink alike."
What happened to the zombie that made him visit the doctor? He had a crummy feeling.
I hate it when I run out of bread for breakfast. I am lack-toast intolerant.
Where’s a donut’s favorite vacation spot?
The Sahara dessert!
Shucking takes lots of corn-centration.
What is Tom Hanks' favourite soft cheese? Philadelphia.
Why did they put Viagra in chocolate bars? You eat it, She says, "Oh, Oh Henry!"
Why do sharks swim in salt water?
If they swam in pepper water they would sneeze.
Why did the students eat their homework?
Because the teacher said that it was a piece of cake.
“How was your day? ” “It was tater-ible”
The innocent blueberry got easily framed for the crime because the evidence was a strawberry plant.
What did the Mama Hot Dog say to the little frankfurter? Ketch-up!
Having chicken broth before the game was a sure shot way to maintain energy for the Soup-er Bowl.
What is a cow's favorite lunch meat? Bullogna
Here’s another one; what about an otter who lives in an emptied out melon? An ottermelon.
What do magician avocados say?
Avocadabra!
What do you call a strong pumpkin?
A Jacked-o-Lantern.
What do you call a pig squished by sand? A ham sandwich.
How does the Skywalker family like their tea?
Lukewarm.
Why did the cheese shop owner finally quit the business?
He was tired of the daily rind.
An angry fruit yells at traffic in front of them
“Mango!”
My friend mashed up some cherries on halloween and said they were blood. I was cherry-fied!
Q: What happened to the peach who went to meet the knife?
A: He came back in many peaches.
What are the longest lasting relationships in the fruit world? Orange-d marriages.
What did the ice-cream say to the unhappy birthday cake?
“What’s eating you?”
Vampires love cookies too, they love No-stake cookies.
What kind of keys does a kid skeleton use on Halloween? Cook-keys.
Why doesn’t anyone invite an ice cream cone to their party?
They’re a drip.
What is the best way to make gold soup? By adding 22 carrots in it.
What type of egg refuses to come out of his shell?
An egg-arophobic.
Why will the fruits beat the vegetables?
They have a better punch!
What do donuts wear to weddings? Tuxe-doughs!
If you are a fan of alphabet soup, then you might also know times new ramen.
What do oranges have after a hard work out? Juice!
What can you make with 6.02 x 10^23 avocados?
Guaca-mole.
I used to hate peas. I like them now, I just make sure I think of them as 'o's.'
What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort.
Why does cheese look normal? Because everyone else on the plate is crackers.
Why do pigs go to New York City? To see the Big Apple.
Sherlock Holmes enters a room carrying a box of lemons
"Where'd you get those?" asks Watson.
"A lemon tree, my dear Watson. A lemon tree."
Did you hear about the CEO that got fired at the dairy farm? He was skimming a little bit off the top.
Why don’t these children eat their soup? Because all of them is stew-pid.
In the middle of the night yesterday, I dreamt that I was swimming in a sea of oranges only to wake up and realize that it was just a Fanta-sea.
What do sophisticated fish drink? Salt-Tea.
I like fried chickpeas, but I shouldn't eat them. Every time I do I falafel.
On Valentine's Day, the peach said to his wife, "You will always have a peach of my heart!"
What do you call a pear who plays the trumpet? A tooty fruity.
What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort