What do we call a chicken inside a hot tub? – It is called soup.
A lettuce farm was busted by the FDA on suspicion of combining plant and human DNA to create a new protein hybrid.
When they dug up the grounds the found human romaines.
A strawberry usually needs batteries when it runs out of juice.
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping onions which made me cry
Onions was a good dog
My Ex Girlfriend stole my Hummus.
I told that chick, peace
I steal my eggs from my next door neighbor.
I prefer them poached.
Have a s-mash-ing birthday!
The man on the table found hair in his soup. He said in rage "I will take the chef to soup-reme court".
The pie-maker couldn't eat any more strawberries because she was already stuffed.
I’m zesting a lemon for a recipe right now
It’s really appealing
I got fruit preserves on my finger.
Doctor said it was jammed.
I am soup-er into the beautiful girl that I met yesterday at school.
I stopped for lunch at a German restaurant, but unfortunately got food poisoning. It really was the wurst.
What do we call the period in between eating a peach? – It is called a pit stop.
Drinking tea while being too calm can kill you, did you know?
It's called a casual tea.
What can a whole apple do that half an apple can't do? It can look round.
What's the hardest tea to swallow?
Reality.
The strawberry was scared of the cream. They were afraid it had gone bad.
How does bread win over friends?
“You can crust me.”
Donut even think about taking another donut!
What do you call a very little cherry? Pit-iful.
What did mamma orange say to little orange after he spilled his milk? It’s no big peel!
I'm not too fond of not finishing my entire bowl of cereal. I think I have irritable bowl syndrome.
Hot dog, I love a good meat pun.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you going to open the door.
Even though Jake was a heartthrob Casanova, he just had to break up with his long-time watermelon vending girlfriend; said she was always melondramatic about everything.
Where do you put nectarines when you want to freeze them? Inside the peach-zer.
Shucking takes lots of corn-centration.
Why did the boy leave his chestnuts in the rain?
He wanted them rusted.
Why don't potatoes go to parties?
They're scared of the Monster Mash.
What's the most musical cut of chicken? The drumstick!
What do you call a rifle that shoots salt?
A salt rifle.
What do you get when your dog jumps into the fire pit? A hot dog.
How did the corn farmer get to be so successful?
He corn-ered the market!
What drink do goalies hate? Penal-tea.
If you are wondering about a peach's favorite video game, well it's definitely 'Super Princess Peach'.
Why is a pineapple so attractive? Because it keeps its juices flowing.
The nut gave her boyfriend the kola shoulder for missing their date.
What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A blood orange.
Do you know how to get a raise at the bread factory? Try buttering up to the boss.
What do you get when an Elephant sits on an Orange?
Orange squash.
The late actor Sir Sean Connery was a big fan of the onion because well, he usshed to love them shh-allot.
It peels nice to be voted in as the most appeeling model in the contest.
If that’s the case, would it be wrong to say that the unfaithful watermelon had an illegitimate daughtermelon?
What's a cow's favorite moosical note? Beef-flat
During World War 2, sending food to the troops was a challenge. Researchers had to concentrate to figure out how to send orange juice.
Did you hear about the salad race the other day?
The Lettuce was ahead, but the Tomato was ketchoping up...
Q: How do you make a blueberry?
A: You strangle a pea.
Thank you for helping me. Biscuit’s the yeast I could do.
The squirrel’s chest got dirty with nuts, now it has a chest-nut.