Where do cows go to celebrate New Years Eve? To a meat ball!
Thanks to you, I’m saddled with unnecessary peelings.
If you put ice cream on the nutty brownie, you’re serving it ala-mond.
Why is cherry pie so legendary? Because it is history in the baking.
What did Yoda say when he turned a patron away for ordering a pie?
“Dough. Or doughnut. There is no pie.”
Drinking tea while being too calm can kill you, did you know?
It's called a casual tea.
Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock? Because it was marble cake!
Why was the sweet potato too shy to ask out the russet potato? Because he was a real spud.
What did the orange do the night before the exam?
He put his nose to the “g-rind-stone” and read the entire textbook.
I heard that my neighbor, who loved dried fruit, has passed away. May his soul rest in peach.
What kind of donuts fly? Plain ones!
Do you know why a pineapple can be a good observer? Because it has a lot of eyes around its body.
What do you call super expensive shoes?
Cashews.
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk
Happy Birthday to my best spud….get it? ? Spud…bud? ?
What do fruits look for at a talent show? A berry that can really cherry a tune.
My boss accused me of "acting the monkey" at work.
I almost choked on my banana.
Why did the one legged clown leave the cheese circus? Because he couldn't get his stilton.
Why should you make a cherry pie for someone that you miss? Because absence bakes the heart grow fonder.
I saw a sign earlier that said, "Free Range Eggs."
I've never heard of Range Eggs before but at least they were free so I took some.
Eating no meat except fish is really bothersome.
I should stop being a Pesky-tarian.
What do you call a cake that likes heavy metal?
Megadeath by Chocolate.
What kind of cheese makes the best music?
Brieoncé.
"I'm not a wino. I'm a wineYES!"
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
How do you get a mouse to smile? Say cheese!
What’s the difference between coffee and your opinion?
I asked for coffee.
What do you call pears with no ears?
Deaf.
How far can a mango,
If he's got a license but doesn't avocado ?
I think I drank some expired milk. I just have a gut feeling.
I got fruit preserves on my finger.
Doctor said I was jammed.
What does a cheese lover say when someone keeps messing around with them?
“You gouda brie kidding!”
Which Oiler great had a soft spot for Indian food? Jari Curry.
What drink do you need to steal? Virgin-tea. Why do hipsters only drink iced tea? Because ice was water before it was cool.
A friend asked what an acorn is. I said, “In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.”
Cow's that eat strawberries give strawberry milk.
Why didn't the drunk Mexican druglord find the Bacon Tree? Because he walked into a Ham Bush!
What do you call a cow that only produces almond milk? One that went nuts.
The baker just felt this incredible knead to make bread. That’s certainly the truth.
Did you hear what happened to the girl who twisted her ankle in the cow’s pen? She was milking her injury!
The nut said it was very pine-ful when its’ shell cracked.
If you can't beat them...
Just have your eggs fried.
What do you call a potato that smokes weed? A baked potato.
Why was the girl staring at the carton of orange juice?
“It said concentrate.”
Knock, knock
Who’s there? CIA CIA, who? CI ate your last doughnut!
When she spotted fake ramen in her soup, she said, “ This soup has impasta in it.”
Cherries are actually great at a lot of different sports. Their favorite one, in case you were wondering, is archerry.
A new bakery in town began ding extremely well. They said that business was definitely on the rise.
my buddy’s sad after getting fired from taco bell, so being a caring friend i asked if he wanted to
taco bout it?
I once had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of carbonated orange juice.
Thankfully it was just a fanta sea.